drewmagary Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Scab Refs Still Suck, And Roger Goodell Is Still A Hypocritical Shitstain
On Aug. 31, just a week or so prior to the kickoff of the new season, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a "note" to the public that was essentially a press release, a reminder to you, the NFL viewing public, that the league was going balls-out on player safety:...
Cockblocked By An Anal Fistula!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Football Is The Hardest Sport To Explain To Children And Stupid People
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Hey, America, Don't Let Your Children Shit At Restaurant Tables
Here's a fun little news item: a Utah woman named Kimberley Decker took her kids out to eat and snapped a photo of a nearby family toilet-training their kids right at the dinner table. Instead of having their kids sit on booster seats, the mother had them sitting on portable toilets, so that they co...
The Five Most Racist Cities In America!
Last night I had an intense dream that was broken up when I had to get up and take a leak at 6 a.m. But the dream was so fascinating that when I got back into bed, I tried desperately to pick up where I left off, as if I were unpausing a movie. I was walking down the road and carrying two suitcases....
Let's Count How Many Metaphors We Can Make Out Of Brandon Weeden Being Trapped Under A Giant American Flag
1. Perfect illustration of the NFL's tendency to smother you to do death with its American-ness....
Cockblocked by Hot Wings!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Why Your Team Sucks Butthurt Awards
“Butthurt” is an awful word. Its origins are almost certainly tied to the “Bros icing bros” movement of aught-ten, as in, “Aw bro! You’re just BUTTHURT because I iced you while Tina was givin’ you a Jeff Smoker, bro!” We at Deadspin generally go out of our way to avoid using it, because it’s a short...
Why Grown Men Walk Around Wearing Football Jerseys
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season, except when the NFL decides to open the season on a Wednesday....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This final 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Cockblocked By Anti-Semitism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...
The 2012 Hater's Lover's Guide To The Top 25
Every year, we preview the upcoming college football season with a Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, and every year I make the same jokes about Ohio State fans being dumb and Alabama fans being racist (it’s true!), and it’s always a great deal of fun. But this year, between the Hater’s Guides and the Why...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
This Week In Insane Joe Paterno Conspiracy Theories
Your letters:...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....