drewmagary Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The 10 Most Insane States In America
I was hanging out at home yesterday when a neighbor came knocking on our door and told me that she had driven home to find that her door was wide open and that she was scared someone had broken into her house. She didn't want to check out the house by herself, so she wanted to know if I could scout ...
Pussyblocked By Your College Major!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Watch This Girl Crush A Red Bull Can Using Only Her Shoulder Blades
People ... this video. THIS VIDEO. I don't even know what to say. Reader Kenneth attempts to provide context:...
Roger Goodell (And Nike) Will Not Tolerate The NFL's Epidemic Of Bruised Thighs Anymore
When we last left the Ginger Hammer, he was sending Gregg Williams to the bad corner and proving, once and for all, that violence has no place in football. And today, Roger Goodell has yet taken yet another step in showing the world that HE MEANS GINGER BUSINESS when it comes to player safety. Pendi...
Rick Reilly Has Golf Jokes For You Because Rick Reilly Is Everything Horrible About ESPN
Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate company's logo on it. You see that guy? THAT is Ri...
Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Dadspin Guide To Feeding A Baby
I have a newborn son. He needs to be fed eight times a day. Each session of feeding him takes roughly 30 minutes, 20 if I'm lucky. I am usually not lucky. That's four hours of the day dedicated to sitting in a chair with a bottle, begging the baby to drink faster. A newborn's life is dedicated to sl...
You Will Eat 30 Bowls Of Cereal A Day (And 11 Other Things You Should Know Before Going To College)
I got this letter from Funbag reader Anthony, which seemed rather timely:...
Outtakes From My Four Hours With Justin Bieber, The Swaggiest Of Swaggy Bros
I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrived at the studio surrounded by adults. His two closest friends a...
Which Sport Has The Most Racists?
You're gonna want to be around on these here Interwebs tomorrow, for something is going to happen that will be monumental in its utter triviality. I promise you, you will TOTALLY be disappointed. In the meantime ... your letters: ...
Cockblocked By A Washing Machine!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....
A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...
The Fruitless Search For Decent Facial Recognition Porn Software
Your letters:...
Getting Lost While Drunk Is The Best Way To Get Lost
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How Not To Write A Cover Letter
We're getting close to graduation time, which means that it's time for America's college students and freeloading grad students to undertake the ultimately fruitless quest of begging corporate America for gainful employment. If you've ever searched for a job, you know what a mortifying experience th...
Haughty Dipshit Gregg Easterbrook Makes Us Ask: What <em>Is</em> A Glory Boy?
If you've hung out around this site in the past, you know that we consider ESPN fartsniffer Gregg Easterbrook to be a haughty dipshit. When Easterbrook isn't spending inches of column space attacking the plot holes in an episode of Human Target (He does just that this week, which is timely!), he's i...
Did Hideki Matsui Really Watch 55,000 Adult Videos?
I was fucking around on Twitter yesterday and I realized that Twitter should be able to allow you to block entire SUBJECTS. So if you really want to see The Avengers but don't want some asshole to spoil it for you, you just enter a block for any tweets that have the word "avengers" or "nick fury" or...
Fun With 69ing Failures
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....