eifling Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


For Anyone Who Doesn't Think Serena Williams Is Capable Of Being Bubbly
Serena beat Maria Sharapova today in Key Biscayne, Fla. But flying suds and big trophies reminded everyone that it's just a game, y'all!...

Enough Already With Military Family Reunions As Halftime Entertainment
I understand why we drag this poor mother before of an arena full of Bulls fans and give her the shock of a lifetime: her son, gone to war, now home, safe. It'd bring a tear to a glass eye....

The Wolverines Beat Kansas Despite A Late-Game 99.4 Percent Chance Of Losing
The OMFGCU dream died last night around gone-to-bed o’clock, amid a flipbook of turnovers. Krzyzewski beat Izzo in the battle of the z’s. The Cardinals dispatched the Ducks. Higher seeds advancing, dynasties on the make, a swell Sunday set up....

Dolphins Lineman Richie Incognito Is Big-Time Man-Crushing On Jake Long To Woo Him Back To Miami
Jake Long, the No. 1 overall pick by Miami in 2008, is presently an ex-Dolphin, via free agency. This does not sit well with Richie Incognito, the fellow Dolphins o-lineman (above, right). Long (above, left) may have been banged up with sundry injuries the past couple of years, but if he would come ...

Justin Durant's Jokey Chick-Fil-A Application Is Actually A Rite Of Passage For America's Child Laborers
This week Detroit Lions linebacker Justin Durant, a free agent, popped by a Chick-fil-A and filled out part of an application. (Middle initial: R.) His explanation was succinct. “Rough outchea bruh,” he tweeted....

Northwestern Has Fired Bill Carmody After 13 Years Of Decent-By-Northwestern-Standards Basketball
In 13 seasons as the head coach at Northwestern University, an alleged Big Ten basketball program, Bill Carmody’s signature moment might’ve been getting hired in the first place. And that, presumably, is why the school fired him today. Cracker-box facilities, lack of tradition, and academic pressure...

With Their First Regulation Loss, Chicago Blackhawks Suddenly Suck
The Chicago Blackhawks were blown out on Friday, 6-2, the latest disappointment in a season full of … oh. Hmmm. It seems the Blackhawks had begun this season with an NHL-record streak of points, and that this loss dropped them all the way to 21-1-3. Their winning clip looks like an elite save percen...

This Mediocre Kentucky Team Offers Hope That John Calipari Hasn't Solved College Basketball
With their win today over No. 11 Florida, the Kentucky Wildcats will probably make the NCAA Tournament. Normally UK achieves that designation by late November or so. Kentucky missed the Big Dance in 2009, but it'd been 1991 since the Cats last weren't invited to March Madness. They hold the NCAA rec...

No, It’s Not Ironic Justice That A Hunter Was Murdered By A Jealous Husband With A Handgun
Gregory G. Rodriguez was having a glass of wine at a friend's home when her husband showed up and shot him to death. The husband, Wayne Bengston, pictured above, then beat up his wife, took their 2-year-old kid to a relative's house, and drove away to kill himself. This is all according to police in...

The Philadelphia District Attorney Trolled Andrew Bynum's Bum Knees
Today Philadelphia's district attorney got on the Twitter to muse about opening an investigation into Andrew Bynum's lack of contributions to the local basketball club. This fellow Seth Williams did so because Bynum, a very talented and thus very expensive professional basketball player, has earned ...

The NFL Appears Totally Ready For An Openly Gay Player, So Long As You Overlook Its Teams And Players
One of the most unintentionally hilarious sentences currently in print can be found on this SB Nation post by Robert Wheel, a.k.a. Bobby Big Wheel, called "What the NFL can do to support gay players." Beneath, a comma-spliced subhed reads: "The NFL is ready for a gay player, the problem is the rest ...

Twitter Loves The Orlando Magic, Has Never Heard Of The Arizona Cardinals
The Wall Street Journal has helpfully assembled the sort of slow-news-month story that lets you forget that none of the four major sports (five, if you include college football) is playing many meaningful games at the moment. In it, the incomparably named Stu Woo compiled the Twitter follower counts...

The Young Football And Hockey Players Allegedly Disciplined For Making Harlem Shake Videos Are Getting Screwed By Alleged Adults
So, here are two news stories that illustrate the artificial (read: administrator-made) perils of being a young person who plays sports and does funny things with friends....

How Clark Olson Beats Everyone Else In Fantasy Everything
The guy who just beat everyone else in America at all the fantasy sports, again, is a computer science professor who is not so much into trades but who is really, really into spreadsheets. Clark Olson, the 2012 winner of ESPN's omnibus Uber Challenge fantasy game, again, tallied the high score acros...

That $5,000 Football "Signed By American Presidents" Is The Most Damning Of Jesse Jackson Jr.'s Alleged Illicit Spoils
If the federal case against him is accurate, Jesse Jackson Jr. is taking a fall in part because of his covetousness for a "football signed by American Presidents" valued at $5,000. The former U.S. Congressman from Illinois and a conspirator are accused of fraudulently raising campaign funds and usin...

Economists Disagree Over How Influential Jose Canseco Was In Spreading Steroids, Start Getting Personal
With advance apologies for giving any more press to Jose Canseco, you might want to check out a little contretemps happening over at Econ Journal Watch about Canseco's role as the Johnny Appleseed of baseball steroids. There's been a debate for a few years now about Canseco's claims to have spread t...

Should You Storm The Court? An All-Purpose Guide
Four of the top five teams in college hoops lost on the road this week. When that happens, students storm courts. Illinois hits a last-second bunny to break a tie with No. 1 Indiana? That's a stormin'. TCU, heretofore winless in the Big 12, never trailed on the way to embarrassing No. 5 Kansas? That...