greghoward1 Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Willian's Shock Transfer To Chelsea Is More Than A Cock-Waving Contest
London club Chelsea unveiled Brazilian star Willian from Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala for around £30 million. We're sad to see this particular transfer saga come to an end, because for a couple of weeks, this was the best story going....
The Gareth Bale Transfer Saga Is The Worst Thing In Sports
This is so dumb. A few months ago, rumors started swirling about Tottenham's Gareth Bale, the Premier League player of the year, heading to Spain to sign for Real Madrid. All summer, it seems, Real Madrid has been closing in on the star for what's been reported by everyone to be a record-breaking su...
How Jadeveon Clowney Became A Folk Hero
South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney got The New York Times long-form treatment yesterday, with writer Greg Bishop hieing himself to Rock Hill, S.C., to get a snapshot of Clowney's upbringing. It's an important story, because it finally attaches a prologue to a figure whom most of the coun...
David Villa Just Scored A Golazo In His First Match Against Barcelona
Barcelona sold David Villa to Atlético Madrid this summer, partly because he's old and he never quite recovered after breaking his leg two years ago, and partly to make room for new signing Neymar. But David Villa is a legend, and he's a legend because he's long been one of the best finishers in the...
Here's Arsenal's Laurent Koscielny Getting His Face Obliterated
This happened in the first half of Arsenal's Champions League playoff match away to Fenerbahçe. Fener forward Webó's strike caused the center back to collapse and bleed everywhere. He had to be subbed off. Yellow card....
Soccer Coach In Coma Wakes Up When He Hears About Team's Comeback Win
Wayne Thorne was just starting his second season as the manager at English soccer club Larkhall Athletic when he was involved in a head-on car collision. He ruptured an artery in his heart and crushed 16 of his 24 ribs. He punctured a lung and shattered his hip and pelvis. He broke his sternum and h...
Arsenal Are Well And Truly Fucked
Today, English club Arsenal are playing Turkish side Fenerbahçe in the first leg of the Champions League playoff round. The match comes four short days after the Gunners were beaten handily at home by Aston Villa, 3-1, in the first match of this Premier League season. And now, chaos....
Here Is NBC's First Goal Call Of The Premier League Season
We have our first goal of the 2013/14 Premier League season. After some buildup, Liverpook's Daniel Sturridge received a pass from Iago Aspas at the top of the box and drove a ball with his left across goal, beating Stoke City keeper Asmir Begovic and tucking just inside the right post. It was a goo...
Your Team Is Probably Going To Fail: The 2013-14 Premier League
Fuck yeah, man. The Premier League's back tomorrow. This is super duper great, because although various leagues like the German Bundesliga and France's Ligue 1 have already kicked off, ain't nothing like the Premier League. While other leagues annually boast only two or three top sides and naught bu...
Boxer Proposes To His Boyfriend On Facebook
Boxer Orlando Cruz proposed to his boyfriend today on Facebook. "The Phenomenon," left, went the DJ Khaled route, and popped José Manuel the question by uploading a video. According to the Latin Times, Cruz, who's Puerto Rican, spoke in Spanish:...
Atlanta Braves Batboy Uses Actual Bat In Cruel Hoax
A real, winged bat flew onto the field in the middle of last night's Phillies-Braves game. If you've seen this story by now, you probably think that the batboy scooped the bat from shortstop Paul Janish's glove and then ran, cradling it, to the Braves dugout. You may have read or incorrectly invoked...
After Getting Fucking Bossed, USMNT Stages Inexplicable, Epic Comeback
After 45 minutes of getting mollywhopped by Bosnia in today's friendly, the United States Men's National Team were down, 2-0, at half. At halftime we (I) wrote as much, briefly detailing exactly how the Americans were getting mollywhopped, and saying that barring foolery, it was a wrap for U.S. Socc...
Bosnia, Up 2-0, Is Beating The USMNT's Ass Right Now [UPDATE: Welp...]
So, Bosnia-Herzegovina is currently smacking the shit of the U.S. Men's National Team. ...
Sky Sports Reporter Standup Becomes Sky Sports Reporter Falldown
Sky Sports correspondent Nick Collins was reporting from Wembley Stadium ahead of today's friendly soccer match between England and Scotland when midway through the broadcast, he fell off a ladder and out of the screen to what appeared to be certain death. And holy shit, it is awesome....
Messi, Beckham, Pelé Sign For An English Club You've Never Heard Of
This is so dumb....
U.S. Soccer Ranked 19th In Latest FIFA World Rankings
Even when America's not the best, America's basically the best. The August FIFA world rankings are out, and the USMNT jumped three spots, from number 22 to 19. Also important: they jumped Mexico, who stayed at 20. The United States are now the top-ranked team in CONCACAF....
Former Dallas Mavericks Dancer Allegedly Kills Four In Shooting Spree
Dallas, Texas, police are alleging that Erbie "E-Luv" Bowser, a former dancer on the Dallas Mavericks' all-fat-male Maniaacs dance team, went on a killing spree last night, in which he killed four people and injured others using guns and a grenade....
This Half-Naked Alamo Golf Club Flag Thief Is Liberty Personified
Word's out from San Antonio that a thief raided the Alamo Golf Club this morning, stole a flag, and escaped the course unscathed. The club says this man, wearing tube socks, orange shoes, and Texas flag running shorts, should be detained. We say fuck that. Let's find this man, and let's harbor him f...