hrkeyser Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Should Wear Gloves While Working With Hot Peppers
You should wear gloves while working with hot peppers—even though that seems like an awfully generous concession to make to a piece of produce you’re about to obliterate with your mouth hole—because if you don’t, you may start to notice a tingling in your fingertips. Aw, crap, you might think, reali...
Does Having A Daughter Make A Man A Better Feminist?<em></em>
Men have found a new way to make themselves the central figures in women’s fight for equality while congratulating themselves on their intellectual progressiveness. And, boy is it the worst. Policy makers and would-be opinion shapers eager to appeal to feminists and family values-ists alike have bee...
Build Something, Like A Goddamn Cathedral
Justo Gallego would likely take umbrage with the phrasing of that headline, seeing as the former monk views his lifework as an act of godly devotion. But this is what he gets for building such a goddamn beautiful cathedral....
How To Plan Your Lunches And Enjoy Italian Comfort Food All Week
The tomato sauce that we’re making to go along with turkey meatballs in a couple of meal-planned lunches this week is easy. It is not, however, quick. The recipe actually sounds a little absurd at first: Five pounds of tomatoes, each one chopped, scooped, and grated before you’re even ready to start...
The Cardinals Lost Their 43rd Game<em></em>
The Cardinals gave up six runs in the final four innings on Friday night to squander an early lead and drop the first game of the second half, 7-6, to the Marlins....
Try Not Caring About The Latest Fad
So everyone is obsessed with this new Pokémon game, and, after gauging the early potential way wrong, you’re already hopelessly out of touch with this newest mania. Maybe you lack the necessary nostalgia to find the conceit all that appealing, falling as you do right into a narrow age bracket that c...
Tips For Getting Your First Credit Card As An Adult
If you’re an adult without a credit card, the barrier to entry can seem to loom a lot larger than it actually is. Somehow, during the inescapable progression of getting older, you missed a step in the far more deliberate process of growing up and now, not only do you not have a credit card, you don’...
How To Plan Your Lunches And Learn To Love Savory Rhubarb<em></em>
Before this week, I had never eaten rhubarb. This is because I am of the firm belief that any dessert without chocolate is not worth my time and—even though rhubarb is a vegetable and pie is almost universally not worth the effort—people insist on serving rhubarb in pie form. Maybe it’s got somethin...
The Indians Set A New Franchise Win Streak Record In The Most Difficult Way Possible
For the first time in franchise history, the Cleveland Indians have won 14 consecutive games. And it only took them 19 innings against the Blue Jays to lock down lucky number 14. ...
Just How Bullshit Are AccuWeather's Long-Range Forecasts? (Very)
When AccuWeather announced they would begin issuing 90-day forecasts in April, science writers, and the meteorologists they interviewed, were notably dubious. Sort of like how they were when AccuWeather debuted a 45-day forecast in 2013....
Rockies' Grounds Crew Magically Transforms Hail-Filled Lake Into Respectable Baseball Field
Weather, as weather is wont to do, fucked shit up earlier tonight at the Colorado Rockies’ park before the team’s game against the Toronto Blue Jays. The field looked completely unusable, until the grounds crew worked their magic....
Giancarlo Stanton Is Still Here Killing People With Strong Home Runs<em></em>
“Giancarlo Stanton, what did that baseball do to you?” muses the Marlins’ color commentator. And, well, given the way the baseball was treated—namely, donged so hard you don’t have time to even think Hey wait I thought he was struggling this year? before it gets out of the park—here are some possibi...
Report: Donald Trump Cobbles Together A Cast Of Sports Dickheads For GOP Convention<em></em>
Donald Trump, a pile of faux-leather designer handbag knockoffs, has compiled a murderers’ row of sports figures for next month’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Bloomberg Politics reports that Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka, Bobby Knight, and NASCAR CEO Brian France have all chosen to shed wha...
Former Basketball Players Share Their Pat Summitt Stories<em></em>
Over the course of her 38-year basketball career at the University of Tennessee, Pat Summitt coached and met an incredible number of athletes. In the wake of her death, some of those women shared stories about the winningest coach in NCAA basketball history....
Don't Let Two-Factor Text Authentication Lull You Into A False Sense Of Security
Earlier this month, activist DeRay McKesson explained on Twitter that his account had been hacked not because he lacked two-factor authentication—the standard for those who don’t want to get hacked—but because the hackers found a workaround for the text-based system he relied on for security....
For One Night, Third-String Catcher Erik Kratz Was The Pirates' Best Pitcher
Pitchers dinging and donging at the plate is old news; let’s honor some position players who can deal from the mound....
How To Plan Your Lunches And Eat Like A Human Being All Week
Meal planning has always seemed to me to represent an aspirational level of Having Your Shit Togetherness. I assume that if I can streamline the whole eating process such that I can do grocery shopping and lunch packing from muscle memory, I’ll be left with more mental energy and money to dedicate t...
Maybe The World Is Finally Starting To Take Online Harassment Seriously
Law enforcement is notorious for not taking online harassment—of which women are often the targets—seriously. The frightening futility of bringing reams of threatening evidence to the police or even the FBI has been painstakingly documented by numerous female writers, but even women who don’t make t...
Make These Damn Good Muffins For Father's Day, Or Any Time
My family has made the same blueberry muffins for Father’s Day since before I was old enough to be responsible for anything more than writing my name in crayon at the bottom of a joint kid card. It’s one of just two family traditions we abide by....
College Majors Are Bullshit
When I showed up on the morning of my college graduation, I told whomever was in charge of herding hundreds of hungover almost-grads into a semblance of organization that I had majored in Ancient History....