jackdickey Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLB's Fun Police Bans Dirk Nowitzki From Throwing Out First Pitch At A World Series Game
From Marc Stein: "Sources told ESPNDallas.com that—with the NBA in the midst of a lockout that has spanned 111 days—at least some hesitation stems from the idea that MLB executives want to stand behind their basketball counterparts and have notified the Rangers that they can't bestow first-pitch hon...

Doc Gooden Missed The Mets' Victory Parade In 1986 Because He Was Doing Coke, And Other Depressing Tales
It's time for some uplifting news from the good folks at E:60! It's a rare occasion when "club in Long Island" is not the most soul-wrenching part of a story, but this is one of those times. ...

Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...

Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...

Your Dolphins-Jets Monday Night Football Open Thread
OK, we could go through the farce of pretending that this is an interesting game between two division rivals, and noting that although the Dolphins are 0-4, they've beaten the Jets in New York each of the last two years, and that Matt Moore is a semi-competent quarterback despite the lack of fanfare...

Bruce Hornsby's Son Has A Rangy Dunk Arsenal
Keith Hornsby, the son of noted piano man Bruce Hornsby, is a freshman guard at UNC-Asheville. This is his dunk from their sparsely attended Midnight Madness. Those are some ups, indeed. Hornsby men. That's just the way it is....

A.J. Hawk's Middle Finger To His Sideline Was An Inside Joke That No Other Packer Knows Anything About
After Packers linebacker AJ Hawk flipped off his own sideline in Sunday's game against the Rams, he said it was a running joke with a couple of his teammates. Thing is, none of his teammates has come forward to admit any familiarity with this running joke....

Someone Apparently Left These Penis- And Vagina-Shaped Cakes In Tony La Russa's Hotel Suite
You didn't think there was actually any merit in La Russa's reliever-overuse strategy, did you? No, these Cards, like other championship Cards, are made of the secret sauce. The grit. The phenomena. In 2006, it was David Eckstein. This year, it's homemade dong- and vagina-shaped cakes....

Someone Drew A Dong On Chris Cooley's Finger Cast
Cooley's dong has long been a friend of Deadspin, and we're glad that the Redskins TE finally embraced his inner donginess, even if it took a broken index finger to do it. He's out up to six weeks....

Hey, David Garrard Was Just Kidding About Playing QB This Year, You Guys
Now that the Raiders want him, it turns out that Garrard's needed surgery since training camp, reports Jay Glazer....

Broncos DT Ryan McBean Arrested On Felony Stalking Charge
9 News in Denver has word of the arrest, and they've also learned that McBean is out on $50,000 bond. McBean has eight tackles, including a sack, on the season....

Dan Wheldon Spent His Last Night Talking To George Maloof And Getting His And Hers Tattoos With His Wife
Poor, poor Dan Wheldon. The IndyCar driver died in a miserable, fiery wreck yesterday, leaving behind a wife and two young sons. Awful stuff. And this was before we found out that he spent his last night alive in the company of a Maloof before getting some tattoos....

Derrick Mason Says Those Five Games He Played For The Jets Never Actually Happened
From the New York Post: "To me, I went from Baltimore to here [the Texans]," Mason told The Post after the Ravens beat his new team 29-14. "I don't know what you're talking about when you mention that other place, but this place here I'm excited about."...

The Godawfulest Team In Football Has Acquired Itself A Shiny New Receiver
Lloyd has one season—last year—where he had 1,448 receiving yards. Pretty impressive. His prior four seasons combined? 860 yards! Sounds like you've finally got yourself a winner, 0-5 Rams! [Chris Mortensen]...

Jon Lester Says They Probably Only "Ordered Chicken From Popeyes Like Once A Month"
Lester tells the Boston Globe (though not Bob Hohler, who wrote this) that starting pitchers on their off-days were the only ones drinking during Red Sox games. "There's a perception out there that we were up there getting hammered and that wasn't the case... Most of the times it was one beer, a bee...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...

Your Brewers-Cardinals NLCS Game Five Open Thread
National League championship series game five action coming your way at 8:05 p.m. ET! Taste it! Zack Greinke goes for the Brewers and Jaime Garcia for the Cardinals. The series is tied two-two. We hope you are riveted....

Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...

The Big East: Your New Home For Boise State, Central Florida, Navy, And Air Force Football!
Well, Colorado is east of Idaho, we suppose. And, hey, Thursday night blue turf on ESPN, within, like, a few years. That's something to look forward to, right? Maybe? Anyone? [USA Today]...

Local Girl Scouts Will Have A Pajama Party At Cowboys Stadium, Which Is Apparently Different From A Tony Romo Start
Tipster Patrick sends along notice that there will be the first ever PJ party on the Cowboys Stadium field this evening, beginning at 6 p.m. Dallas time....