jackdickey Page 76 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

A Gaggle Of Clever Sportswriters Is Starting A Long-Form Web Concern
The Classical bills itself as "a running, wide-ranging conversation between us and our readers about baseball, basketball, soccer, football and fighting, and about things that aren't sports, too." It'll have long features and blogs, modeling itself after The Awl....

Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....

Sports And Comedy, Always Secretly Intertwined
One more Deadspin Comedy Week submission, from clever commenter AzureTexan....

Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...

Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....

BREAKING: Dan Uggla Is Not Joe DiMaggio
Cubs win, Cubs win, and the Braves' second baseman's hitting streak ends at 33. Aw....

The New York Islanders Will Have A Party To Celebrate The Bloody Low Point Of Last Season
Undeterred by that whole Probably Moving to Kansas City thing, the Islanders are throwing a party at Champions Sports Bar in Uniondale, NY to celebrate the goriest night of last night's hockey season....

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...

Our Five Favorite Funny Athlete Movie/TV Appearances
Plenty of athletes are funny. But these are our top 5 performances by athletes being funny on purpose in a movie or tv show....

Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Matt Goldich
Who? Matt is from Philadelphia, though he started performing in New York while he was a writer on Stump The Schwab. He went on to write for The Late Show with David Letterman. Matt's style is subtle and hyperarticualte. Watch the first joke on his clip because it is one of my favorite jokes by a c...

Zack Greinke Bunts To You From Germany And/Or The Future
Your morning roundup for August 14, the day the New York Times trend piece hit a new low.....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kyle Grooms
Who? Kyle Grooms is originally from New Jersey but started his stand-up career on South Florida's urban comedy scene. Style is quick and clever, punchlines come after the beat, a little like Dave Attell but structured around stories like Birbiglia....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...

Dying Up Here: Tributes To Three Departed Funnymen
For Comedy Week, we ran three tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series: Phil Berger wrote on Andy Kaufman, The Masked Man on Mitch Hedberg, and True Blood producer Alexander Woo on Vaughn Meader....

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...