jonhelmkamp Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A baseball league was finally crazy enough to institute sudden-death home run derby
Someone looked at baseball and asked, “What’s the most outlandish and absurdly interesting method that could decide the outcome of a game,” and our colleagues at The Onion ... oops! ... I mean real baseball executives in charge of the Pioneer League, have apparently found the answer — sudden-death h...
Mocking the Mock Draft: First-round scenarios sure to piss everyone off
You all have seen more mock drafts than you can count by now. I get it. I promise you, though, you have not and will not see another that resembles this in any way. With the NFL Draft finally, mercifully starting soon, let’s have a little fun and create the most chaotic mock draft we can think of. M...
Kyle Shanahan gets real dark real fast on Jimmy Garoppolo question
Because apparently I can’t avoid discussing the 49ers or the third overall pick or any of its ramifications, I’m here today to bring you the latest bit of commentary surrounding the selection. At a Niners press conference today, head coach Kyle Shanahan and General Manager John Lynch said a lot of w...
The Knicks are the most entertaining team in the NBA right now
Julius Randle has an MVP ballot case; Derrick Rose is turning back the clock, Obi Toppin is hitting transition threes, and R.J. Barrett is still showing immense growth. ...
De’Aaron Fox entering COVID protocol, and Kings are screwed
Quietly, probably because he’s a Sacramento King, De’Aaron Fox has been putting forth the best season of his four-year-career, but will now miss 10-14 days due to the NBA’s health and safety protocol....
SEE IT! Gronk sets Guinness record for ‘highest’ catch (No, not that kind of high — although…)
This is arguably the least surprising world record accomplishment ever, when you think about it. ...
Houston Rockets CEO stepping down is another step back for rebuilding franchise
Tad Brown, CEO of the Houston Rockets, is stepping down after 19 years with the organization, further signaling the direction the franchise has taken in the post-James Harden/Daryl Morey era. Brown announced the decision on Friday following a 15-year-run as CEO, which came after a four-year tenure a...
April 23 is officially Tatis day in LA forever, as Fernando Jr. belts 2 HRs on ann’y of pop’s 2-slam game
The odds on this were probably a million to one, but it happened anyway (aka, that’s baseball, Suzyn)....
Ravens-Chiefs Orlando Brown trade could work brilliantly for both teams
Two of the best teams in the AFC just made a trade with one another that was absolutely brilliant for both teams. The Chiefs, who watched the best quarterback in the NFL run for his life in the Super Bowl, acquired Pro-Bowl offensive tackle Orlando Brown from the Baltimore Ravens. The two teams also...
Ex-Bear Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael is battling ALS and ‘declining quickly’
Former Bears great Steve “Mongo” McMichael is battling ALS — also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease — according to multiple reports this morning, including one from Dan Wiederer of the Chicago Tribune, who said McMichael is said to be “declining quickly.”...
NCAA hoops should follow NFL’s lead on relaxing uniform number rules
If you’ve ever watched college basketball, chances are you’ve never seen anyone wear a number ending in 6-through-9 or exceeding 55. If you’ve ever played a college basketball video game, you could never even create a character with such a number. So if you’ve played MyCareer in a recent NBA2K insta...
With a fully vaxxed commish, bring on the bro hugs and chest bumps!
Because I’m a lunatic who thinks entirely too much about the NFL Draft, I’ve been wondering what the process would look like next week. Last year, Roger Goodell slouched in his beat up leather chair while wearing a cardigan, then read the names. The camera would cut to wherever those athletes were, ...
Former Kentucky guard and NBA prospect Terrence Clarke dies following car crash
Kentucky guard Terrence Clarke, who recently declared for the NBA draft, died Thursday night after a car accident in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles. He was just 19 years old....
College football makes change to OT, and it doesn't suck
The NCAA apparently doesn’t want college football games to potentially go to absurd quadruple overtimes anymore, so they made a slight change to the manner in which overtime will be played, starting this year....
Woj’s F-bomb to a U.S. Senator proved to be prophetic today
In a response to hate crimes directed at Asian-Americans across the country, the United States Senate passed a COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act this afternoon by a vote of 94-1. And the “1” vote was brought to you by Josh Hawley, who ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski said “fuck you” to last summer. ...
Oh look, here’s a DUMB take from Tom Brady no one asked for
Tom Brady kindly would like you to get off his lawn and stop fucking with traditions that are super-duper important, like jersey numbers. The NFL has passed a rule to relax their jersey number options, allowing running backs, wide receivers, and tight ends to wear any number from 1-49 and 80-89. Def...
Nope, sorry, I’m tired of hearing it — size does NOT matter when it comes to DeVonta Smith’s talent
Yes-yes, sure-sure … top-tier wide receiver prospect DeVonta Smith is 166 pounds — I know. And I don’t give a damn....
Anthony Davis is coming back, but the Lakers still have a tough road ahead
According to ESPN’s Dave McMenamin, Anthony Davis is expected to return tonight against the Dallas Mavericks, which will be his first NBA game since February 14, due to a calf strain and Achilles tendinosis. ...
Just when we need exercise equipment most, it starts eating pets and children
Peloton is currently not looking so great. Apparently, the at-home workout equipment juggernaut is dealing with a number of accidents involving small children and pets, including one child dying. Over the weekend, the federal Consumer Product Safety Commission released a statement urging consumers t...
Screw your narrative: Paul George deserves his flowers
Lost in the desire to disregard Paul George is the fact that he’s one of the better basketball players of his era. And right now, he’s on his best stretch of ball since joining the Los Angeles Clippers prior to last season....