lauren-theisen Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cowboys Bulldozed The Eagles Off The Field And Now Doug Pederson Has Some Explaining To Do
After a build-up in which head coach Doug Pederson was so confident in his team that he spoke of beating the Cowboys as a when, not if, scenario, the Eagles flew into Dallas and suffered the most humiliating loss of Pederson’s tenure. With the whole country watching them against a division rival, Ph...

Giancarlo Stanton And His Bum Quad Will Try To Save The Yankees
This postseason, the New York Yankees are 4-0 when Giancarlo Stanton gets into the game, and 0-3 when he does not. The lack of Stanton’s bat in the lineup isn’t the only reason the Yankees are down 3-1 to the Astros in the ALCS, but it’d certainly help to have him at DH instead of Edwin Encarnacion....

These Michigan Student Section Shirts Were Free, But How Many Millions Are They Worth Now?
I’ll maintain that, given the amount of long-term punishment these shirts have all taken, they remain in perfectly acceptable shape. Every one of the Michigan student section shirts appraised for this episode of Antiques Shitshow has survived sweaty pregames, freezing-cold waits in line, and the ele...

Deadspin Up All Night: I Know You're Taken
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. See ya....

This Is Darby Allin And I Love Him
The Tim Burton creature pictured directly above these words is a pro wrestler named Darby Allin, who currently performs for the start-up promotion All Elite Wrestling. Today I am here to tell you that I would die for this skeleton twink. Allin has only been wrestling for about four years, and he’s ...

Here's A Humiliating Way To Lose Your First Game Of The Season
The Colorado Avalanche looked unstoppably good through their first five games of the NHL season, going 5-0-0 against their early competition. But too bad for them tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins knew their weakness: Gabriel Landeskog can’t defend shorthanded overtime goals when he’s in the crease....

Gruesome Bird Massacre At The NASCAR Hall Of Fame
The NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, N.C. was the site of a horrifying scene of avian death and destruction late Tuesday night, as 310 birds (later identified as chimney swifts) crashed into the Hall’s window and fell to the ground. The bizarre and disturbing aftermath, with birds strewn everywher...

Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...

Jalen Ramsey Gets His Wish, Is Traded To The Rams
About a month after his trade request, and after three weeks of not suiting up for the Jaguars, cornerback Jalen Ramsey has been traded out of Jacksonville and sent to Los Angeles. Though not that long ago it looked like the Jaguars were going to ignore Ramsey’s wishes, he’ll go play for a .500 Rams...

This Is Just Some Delightful Baserunning From The Astros
The Houston Astros doubled their lead against the Yankees in the seventh inning of Game 3 this evening, not with the fancy-pants longballs that initially gave them a 2-0 advantage, but with some gritty, scrappy, heads-up baserunning that was unironically delightful to watch. Through just one hit and...

Deadspin Up All Night: It's The Perfect Ending
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Ah, Damn, Brad Marchand Actually Did A Frickin' Cool Thing
It’s easy to lose sight of this fact amid the rabbit punches and cup checks and compulsive licking and stick-breaking and general dickishness, but veteran Bruins winger Brad Marchand is really freaking good at hockey. He showed that in part by getting a couple of assists in Boston’s afternoon win ag...

Gary Sanchez's Bizarre 11th-Inning At-Bat Was Pure Postseason Chaos
When Gary Sanchez came to the plate in the top of the 11th for the Yankees, with the score tied at two and runners on first and second with two outs, it felt like a safe bet the slumping New York catcher was either going to smash a three-run shot or strike out horrifically against Astros reliever Jo...

Carlos Correa Left His Body After His Walk-Off Homer
Carlos Correa hadn’t gotten that many opportunities to celebrate this year. The Astros’ young shortstop, who struggled last season to build upon a fantastic 2017, missed over half of this season with a broken rib and then a back problem. And though he was a powerful hitter when he was healthy enough...

Emma Meesseman Proved She Can Carry The Mystics To Greatness (As Long As She Wants To Play For Them)
Going into the WNBA playoffs, it would have been fair to underestimate the impact of Washington Mystics forward Emma Meesseman. Though she was one of the Mystics’ most efficient scorers—she’d be in the 40-50-90 club if she had enough attempts to qualify—she often felt like a lesser version of her te...

Howie Kendrick Finally Has A Legacy
You’d be forgiven, Nats fans, if you wanted Howie Kendrick out of the game long before his instantly legendary grand slam in the top of the 10th that won the Nationals their first-ever playoff series. Kendrick, despite turning in a pleasant surprise of a 2019 season that saw him become one of Washin...

Deadspin Up All Night: Your Time Has Come
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. This new set has me really appreciating Don’t Tell A Soul....

It's A New Season, But Drew Doughty And Matthew Tkachuk Still Hate Each Other
There’s only room for one Alpha Dickhead in the Pacific Division, and Drew Doughty and Matthew Tkachuk have now spent years trying to stake their claim at the top. ...

Connecticut Sun Survive Massive Mystics Comeback, Force Winner-Take-All Game 5
Kristi Toliver should have worn a different shirt. The Washington Mystics’ veteran guard was not quiet about her and her team’s intentions as they walked into enemy territory in Connecticut for Game 4 of the WNBA Finals: They wanted to clinch the franchise’s first-ever championship, and they wanted ...

Broncos CB De’Vante Bausby Says He Was Paralyzed For 30 Minutes After Collision With Teammate
Denver Broncos cornerback De’Vante Bausby had to be taken off the field on a backboard during the second quarter of his team’s game against the Chargers on Sunday after a helmet-to-helmet collision with his teammate, Alexander Johnson, as both went for a tackle. Bausby went to a trauma center after...