lauren-theisen Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's All Laugh At Dellin Betances Trying To Hit Major League Pitching<em></em>
The Yankees are already a 50-win ballclub, and nobody on that team gets strikeouts at a higher rate than relief pitcher Dellin Betances. That’s why I don’t feel too bad laughing along with his teammates as Betances learns what it’s like to be on the other side of Major League pitching. In the eighth...
Iranian Goalie Who Exposed Ronaldo As A Fraud Went From Being A Homeless Runaway To The World Freaking Cup
Portugal was denied the full three points in their 1-1 draw against Iran today, thanks in massive part to a save from Iranian goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand on a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. Ronaldo, who failed to score today, was newly exposed as a massive fraud when his attempt at a powerful sho...
The NFL Won't Let Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif Put "M.D." On The Back Of His Jersey
Chiefs offensive lineman Laurent Duvernay-Tardif graduated from medical school at McGill University in Montreal last month, becoming Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, M.D. But Duvernay-Tardif won’t be able to show off his new title during the Chiefs’ games next season. According to TVA Sports’ Andy Maill...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Believe In Myself
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Happy Pride, kiddos....
Report: Hanley Ramirez Is Not Connected To Fentanyl Trafficking Ring; Some Asshole Just Tried To Name-Drop Him<em></em>
After reports on Friday stated that former Red Sox infielder and current free agent Hanley Ramirez was “being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation” that involved distribution of the opioid fentanyl, a new report from the Boston Globe says that Ramirez is not being linke...
How Did James <em></em>Rodríguez Make This Pass?<em></em>
Colombia rebounded nicely from a 2-1 loss to Japan with a 3-0 shellacking of Poland in their second World Cup game today. The icing on top was a goal from Juan Cuadrado, but the scorer had a pretty easy job. All Cuadrado had to do is run a breakaway to the net, while it was James Rodríguez who had t...
An Extremely Stupid Tiebreaker Will Be Used If England Draws With Belgium
England pulled level with group rivals Belgium after their lopsided win against Panama this morning, giving each national side six points going into their final group stage game against each other. Not only do Belgium and England have the same amount of points, though, but they also have exactly eig...
Of Course The Mets' Attempt To Start A Reliever Blew Up In Their Faces
In keeping with the 2018 trend led by the Tampa Bay Rays, the Mets eschewed a conventional starter and used an “opener” out of the bullpen this afternoon against the Dodgers. With starter Jason Vargas going to the DL, manager Mickey Callaway announced that Sunday would be a bullpen day, and 34-year-...
More World Cup Games Should Be Like Japan-Senegal
Today group stage World Cup match between Japan and Senegal, which ended in a 2-2 draw, wasn’t exactly a world-class showcase of skill and talent in the way that later rounds of the tournament will be. But damned if it didn’t have a boatload of charisma, which made it infinitely more entertaining th...
Nick Kyrgios Got Fined €15,000 For Pretending To Jerk Off With A Water Bottle
Tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios got caught pleasuring (then drinking?) his water bottle on the sideline during his straight-set loss to Marin Cilic at the Queen’s Club Championships in London on Saturday. The mimed masturbation was a playful little gesture, fairly subtle but also in clear full view of a...
England Played Great And Actually Have The Goals To Prove It This Time<em></em>
Despite creating loads of chances in their first game against Tunisia, England had to rely on an epic stoppage-time winner from Harry Kane to get all three points. There was no such drama necessary in the Three Lions’ match against Panama on Sunday, however, as the English were actually able to fini...
A French Teenager Was Detained By ICE For Two Weeks After Accidentally Jogging Over The U.S.-Canada Border
Cedella Roman, a 19-year-old French woman who was visiting her mother in British Columbia last month, was arrested by US Border Patrol and detained for two weeks by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) after she accidentally crossed the U.S.-Canada border while jogging....
Marcell Ozuna Tried Way Too Hard To Catch This Fly Ball<em></em>
The Brewers whupped the Cardinals tonight, and the Milwaukee scoring got rolling with a two-out, first-inning fly ball from Jesus Aguilar. It was high, and it was deep, but it wasn’t quite as gone as St. Louis left fielder Marcell Ozuna assumed it was. While Ozuna was trying out his best Spider-Man ...
Here's How The First Round Of The NBA Draft Went Down
Arizona big man Deandre Ayton was the first pick of an NBA Draft filled with sad trades and massive fuck-ups. Here’s the full first round:...
Woj's Synonyms For "Will Draft," Ranked<em></em>
Despite a report from Awful Announcing stating that reporters associated with NBA broadcast partners were asked by the league not to tip picks, the draft-night focus of ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski could not be shaken. But while Yahoo Sports’ Shams Charania appeared to outright ignore the league’s orde...
Mikal Bridges Was The Sixers' Nice Hometown Story For About An Hour<em></em><em></em>
A nice little heartwarming story early in the NBA Draft came when the Philadelphia 76ers picked Villanova’s Mikal Bridges with the 10th overall pick. Not only has Bridges spent his entire life around Philly, but his mom, Tyneeha Rivers, also works for the Sixers as VP of Human Resources. Mikal and T...
The Kings Screwed It Up!
First of all, it’s important to note that making predictions on draft night, or trying to grade teams’ picks, is a fool’s game. None of these guys has played an NBA game yet, and trying to parse the difference between Marvin Bagley III, whom the Kings just drafted at number-two overall, and Luka Don...
Barry Trotz Is Coming To Try And Salvage The New York Islanders
With all the other NHL coaching vacancies filled before he announced he was leaving the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals, Barry Trotz could really only choose between a year off from the bench or the New York Islanders. Today, he decided to go with NYC’s little-brother hockey team, signing a...
Heroic Bullpen Catcher Rescues Helpless Bats From Ballpark Flood
It rained just a bit in Pittsburgh this evening, forcing the postponement of tonight’s Brewers-Pirates game. But before Milwaukee bullpen catcher Marcus Hanel returned to the safety of his hotel room, he made the courageous, selfless decision to rescue some powerless equipment from the terrifying fl...
Report: Sorry, You're Not Getting Rid Of Jeff Triplette That Easily<em></em>
Cries of joy rang out all around the NFL during Wild Card Weekend when referee Jeff Triplette, the league’s worst official, decided to retire, with his fitting finale featuring him bungling about a half-dozen plays in the Titans-Chiefs playoff game. But while we can continue to celebrate that Triple...