matt-sussman-old Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFC Championship Live Blog, Done Right (Not With Tagged Posts)
Will it be the desert dwellers or the East coast fellers? Which nine-win team reigns supreme? This and much more Iron Chef-style prose to follow in the live blog, aprez le jump....
Hugs For Everyone
Because not only have Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow won their second national championship together, but this not-so-well-received live blog format is over for tonight. Thanks for following along, if you found it....
That Referee's Heart Disease Is Magically Cured
On the final non-kneel play, Tebow runs into a striped official and knocks him over. That's the second thing he's ever done wrong....
Also He Got An A-Minus On A Spelling Test In Fourth Grade
A taunting penalty on Tim Tebow "might've been the first thing he's ever done wrong," loosely sayeth Brennaman's co-crusher Charles Davis. Other things he did wrong: two interceptions tonight....
If They Dump It On Tebow's Head, It'll Turn To Wine
Instead it'll splatter all over the noggin of Urban Meyer who OMG COACHED AT BOWLING GREEN. Ah, those were a fun two years....
That's Probably The Game, Folks
A 4th and 4 pass falls painfully to the ground. Gator ball....
Thom Brennaman Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Likes Tim Tebow
But he also gives that much praise to his wife's apple cobbler. "You spend five minutes with this dessert and you'll be impressed."...
Jump Pass; Not Just For Third Grade Nerf Basketball Games Anymore; 24-14 Gators
I thought this game was missing something. Only thing left is "no tap backs." With three minutes left, this game looks more done than my overcooked Applebee's hamburger....
As The Grass Stains Accumulate, So Do The Clutch Throws
Despite penalties and negative yardage plays, huge pass from Tebow to his disciples are keeping the ball out of the Sooners' (read: evil Wiccans') hands....
And Somewhere, Billy Sims Has Nothing To Say
The Sam Bradford pass was caught by Iglesias but stolen away by Ahmad Black. And yes, they reviewed the play. I just don't know how they decide these things....
Oh, By The Way, A Field Goal Makes It 17-14 Gators
But they're still on that whistle Tebow heard. Figures that since Tebow heard it, and he wouldn't lie to us (♥♥♥), that we all heard it too....
Tebow Hears Phantom Whistle, Or Perhaps Prayer From Distant Child
He just kind of stopped in the middle of a play, but nobody else did. Isn't this also the plot of "The Unborn?"...
If This Goes To OT, Just Have Percy Harvin And Chris Brown Run A 5K
Harvin runs the ball to the 26-yard line, and follows that up with another first down run. And you wanted to talk about the quarterbacks!...
Touchdown, Jermaine Gresham; Game Tied At 14
Something tells me that that pass from Sam Bradford would make a decent novel....
Camera Angles, EVERYWHERE
Is it really necessary to split the screen three times, so we can see an action shot of the offensive coordinator talking into his headset?...
Tebow Falling To Ground Signifies Ceremonial End of Third Quarter
Coming up: the Gators WILL punt. The Sooners WILL receive. American Idol WILL be plugged....
Now That's What I Call A Blocked Punt Kick: Volume 2
This time the Florida special teamers are allowed to piledrive the helpless punter placekicker into the ground. The Gators recover the ball in great position. (Their center's hand.)...
Quick Note On Tebow's Motivational Speech
September 27: Tebow makes tearful speech. October 6, 2008: Stock market drops below 10,000 and never recovers....
Percy The Baptist's Direct Snap Ends Streak Of Boring, Boring Football; UF 14-7
Sweet, points! And the UF fight song goes on in an attempt to outplay Beyonce's "Put A Ring On It."...
Oklahoma Gets Flagged For Face Mask
Total yards lost: one yard. Shit, if that was the penalty, I'd face mask every time, y'know, just to scare them. This concludes this episode of "Internet Tough Guy."...