matt-sussman-old Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nuts v. Contraceptives: #5 Ohio State-#1 USC
Actually, the Southern California Trojans have already won this game by 24 points, but the NCAA by-laws dictate they have to go ahead and play the game anyway. Everybody important is at the game, except you. And, well, me. So let's get through this impending Buckeyes massacre together, shall we? Oh,...
Monday Night Football (After Dark): Broncos-Raiders
Hope you got all your NFC North love juice out of your system, because now it's time for an AFC West trainwreck with the Denver Broncos and Oakland Raiders. And who shall share this endeavor with us in the ESPN booth? Why, it's three Mikes, all with mikes. Mike & Mike's Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic...
Sunday Night Football: Bears-Colts
It's the second to last game of the first week of the season, of which there will be only two more this decade. It all takes place in venerable Lucas Oil Stadium. How effective will the Bears passing game be? Will we find out what a bursa sac is? How would John Madden solve the dispute between Russi...
College Football Kickoff Night: North Carolina State vs. South Carolina
Enough of your waiting, young stallion. The Pack of Wolves are visiting the Game of Cocks. To christen the season on TV, ESPN's Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer are behind the mic. Erin Andrews is behind the sidelines with a different mic — one that gets way more pageviews than a regular m...
SEC Speed? How about the MAC's vaunted live blogging speed? Return to this very site tonite for my Grandtacular N.C. State-South Carolina Cherry Poppin' College Football Season Hootenanny All-Star Revue And Tractor Repair. Or maybe it's North Carolina-South Carolina State. Hey, we'll find out togeth...
Sunday Night Baseball: Dodgers-Phillies
Philadelphia and Los Angeles have good chances at winning their divisions. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan have good chances at mentioning baseball players from the 80s we never heard of, but should be in the Hall of Fame. Your pitchers: Hiroki Kuroda for the Avoiders, and Joe Blanton for the Philbins. If...
I was promised by the highers-up that, if I did a live blog tonight, there would be no interference from the Gawker server hamster or the database lemur. (The lemur's name, by the way? Chachi.) So it's the Dodgers and the Phillies tonight at 8 p.m. on ESPN. Please reschedule your dinner party plans ...
Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) * * * Okay, so nobod...
Live Morning SportsCenter Live Blog
Hannah Storm. Josh Elliott. And a bunch of highlights already seen last night. The debut of SportsCenter's new 9 a.m. slot gets its very special live blog, which you might be able to watch develop if you properly click on the Jump Of Kings....
Pro Football Hall of Fame Game Live Blog
All right, football zealots. Finally, a televised NFL game (for lack of a better word). It's the Indianapolis Colts and the Washington Redskins. John Madden has been dipped in bronze gravy for this joyous occasion, and Al Michaels will be sitting on his knee. Before you follow along after the J-M-P,...
Time To Deregulate The ESPY Awards
As self-fellating as the ESPY Awards has become lately, they do have entertainment value, and the concept of a sports awards show is a novel idea. Well, novel in the context of awards shows, not novel in the sense of "this beats a cure for cancer!" But why does it always have to be ESPN?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while actually making plans on weekends from here on out... • 6:00 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels. Tim Wakefield, it's up to you to prevent your team from getting swept. [whoosh, crack] Really? That's your plan? [ESPN] • 7:30 p.m. — Movie: Ghostbusters. We came, we sa...
Socialism Has Solved Every Traffic Jam In The World
You there. Yes, you. Don't you love freedom, apple pie, and John Mellencamp-crooned commercials? Of course you do. But you also hate traffic. "Oh God, everyone else driving is such an idiot! If they watched where they were going, I wouldn't be running behind, so I better call my friends and tell the...
Dive Only Into Pools Of Which You Know The Depth
If you were wondering where Daric Barton was when Oakland was playing the Yankees this weekend (who of us wasn't?), well he wasn't playing because he got hurt during the All-Star break. The rookie first basemen has a lot to learn about how to dive into swimming pools....