miserableshitehawk Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dolphins Fire Offensive Line Coach Less Than One Full Week Into Training Camp
Miami Dolphins head coach Brian Flores sure didn’t need long to determine he’d put the wrong man in charge of coaching his offensive line. Pat Flaherty had the job for less than six months—he was hired by Flores on February 8, and he was fired Monday, after just four training camp practices....
Derek Jeter Has Enemies In The Hall Of Fame
One of Derek Jeter’s first items of business upon taking over ownership of the Marlins in 2017—a priority so important to him that it was carried out before Jeter had officially taken over—was the sacking of virtually every other big baseball name in the upper ranks of the organization. The house-cl...
Mike Francesa And Trevor Bauer Get Into An Argument With No Winners And Two Losers
Cleveland Indians pitcher and online edgelord Trevor Bauer is one of the big names to watch ahead of next week’s MLB trade deadline. The team’s on a nice little surge at the moment and is only two games behind the AL Central-leading Twins, but if it shifts into asset collection mode, Bauer is probab...
The WNBA All-Star Game Will Include One Really Dumb Rule Change
This is apparently the summer of zany, experimental All-Star games. The WNBA will use its showcase Saturday afternoon to experiment with a couple rule tweaks, one of which is straight out of left field—or, well, straight out of hockey, the most dreaded sport of all....
Steve Ballmer Wasn't Too Fazed About Jeanie Buss Secretly Calling Him "Ballz"
Clippers owner and shrieking enthusiast Steve Ballmer is riding high these days. His Clippers managed a respectable rebuild without ever going into the tank; Kawhi Leonard jumped ship from a championship squad to join his outfit, and brought Paul George along for the ride; and Thursday he shared wit...
The Colts Are Afraid Of Andrew Luck's Leg Pulling A Kevin Durant
Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has already been through several circles of injury hell, and lost roughly a jillion years of his career to a devastating shoulder injury. Right now he’s recovering from a little old calf injury suffered during the spring, but after joining the rest of the world in watch...
Maybe The Yankees Should Not Allow Masahiro Tanaka To Face The Red Sox
Yankees pitcher Masahiro Tanaka got the start Thursday night in the first game of an important four-game series against the Red Sox. The series probably has more juice for the Red Sox than for the Yankees—the Red Sox sound like they might be a couple bad days away from shifting into seller mode as t...
The Robot Umpire Is Moving Up In The World
The Atlantic League announced Tuesday that their experiment with an automated strike zone will continue for the remainder of the season, starting Thursday night. The system mostly worked; players and managers were happy with it; even the umpire who gave it its inaugural run at the Atlantic League Al...
The Maryland State Athletic Commission has said it will conduct an investigation into the bout that led to the death of boxer Maxim Dadashev. In the meantime, underscoring just how brutal and dangerous boxing is, the president of the Association of Ringside Physicians told the Washington Post that h...
Idiot On The Pitch Is Nearly Trampled, Escapes Unscathed, Has Whiskers, Is A Cat
An idiot invaded the pitch in the 92nd minute of Wednesday night’s Leagues Cup Tournament match between Real Salt Lake and Liga MX side Tigres UANL, at a point when the game was very much still up for grabs. The absolute moron very nearly took the ball off the feet of Tigres player André-Pierre Gign...
Pirates Broadcasters Load Up Their Diapers Over Dumb Unwritten Rules Violation
The Pirates got pounded to hell by the dreaded Cardinals Wednesday night, eventually losing by the score of 14–8. The score manages to misrepresent just how lopsided the game was—the Cardinals scored nine runs in the second inning and chased two Pirates pitchers before the end of the fourth inning. ...
Report: TNT Will Finally Get Rid Of Those Sloppy <i>Players Only </i>NBA Broadcasts
Bad news for people who believe the events of an NBA basketball game are best accompanied by the inane, runaway chit-chat of Dennis Scott and Kevin McHale: TNT has apparently decided to axe its Players Only broadcasts and presumably will reintroduce competent play-by-play commentators to all future ...
Tim Tebow's Flesh And Bat Faileth
Last time we checked in on future Mets superstar Tim Tebow he was struggling mightily down at triple-A, slashing .156/.239/.227 in 128 at-bats and striking out against a position player. The bad news is, Tebow is now all sliced up and injured; the worse news is, he evidently still can’t figure out h...
Dwight Gooden, On Recent Arrests: "This Is The Worst I've Ever Been"
Dwight Gooden was arrested in June and charged with four counts related to cocaine possession and driving under the influence of cocaine. That was not even Gooden’s most recent arrest for substance abuse—he was arrested again Monday for driving under the influence after he reportedly drove the wrong...
Yuli Gurriel Can't Stop Smashing Dingers
Astros first baseman Yuli Gurriel is on a remarkable run. Coming into Tuesday night he’d crushed 11 home runs in 17 games in July, including six over the course of five games* to open the month. That’s two more homers in three weeks than he’d hit in the other three whole months of the season. Tuesda...
The NBA Is Shocked, Shocked To Find That Tampering Is Going On In Here
The NBA will reportedly open an investigation into the 2019 free agency period, based on the observation that roughly a zillion players changed teams this summer despite only Kawhi Leonard taking any meetings or doing any deliberating before making a move. The feeling seems to be that teams, players...
Report: The Admissions Side Door May Have Been Open For UCLA Applicants With Influential Connections
The college admissions cheating scandal revealed the details of a formalized process for jamming the failchildren of wealthy and prominent families into otherwise credible and prestigious universities, using an expensive “side door” for parents whose wealth leaves them a rung or two shy of the oppor...
Twins Show Off Cat-Like Infield Reflexes Against Vile Yankees
The Twins and Yankees are playing the opener of a three-game series Monday night in Minnesota, where the Twins offense has become basically a howitzer firing baseballs into the outfield stands. These are two of the top three teams in the American League, so this series has some juice....
Remember The Time Tim Duncan Coached Up An Opposing Big Man During An NBA Game?
Legendary Spurs big man Tim Duncan has graduated from unofficial “coach of whatever he feels like” under Gregg Popovich to an official job as a Spurs assistant coach. Popovich’s coaching staff has lost quite a few assistants over the last year or so: last summer James Borrego left to become head coa...
Yasiel Puig Starts Very Uncommon Double Play With Very Badass Throw
Harrison Bader of the St. Louis Cardinals is really, really fast, but that speed certainly does not give him license to behave in a disrespectful manner! Thursday night against the Reds, Bader tried to go from first to third on a blooper to right field, which practically invited the rally-suffocatin...