miserableshitehawk Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Catch A Fish, Butcher It, And Make Some Crudo
It’s easy to fall into a summertime pattern of eating tacos and kabobs and barbecue on a three-day rotation, because those are delicious things to eat and they are best eaten in summer. Broadly speaking, this is doing summer right. Enjoy your tacos! Enjoy your kabobs! Enjoy your barbecue, so long as...
Let's Pick And Grill A Delicious Pork Chop
I’m sure we can all agree that summer is for grilling. Burgers are good for grilling, as are your various tube-meats. A good steak is delightful. I happen to think, though, that a good pork chop is the happiest, summeriest of the grilled proteins....
How To Make Ceviche And Do Summer Right
Summer—it’s here! It’s really, really here! Officially! The calendar says so!...
LeBron's Block Still Doesn't Seem Possible
A lot of incredible, spectacular shit went into Game 7. The balance of all this shit tilted slightly in favor of the Cavs, and that was always going to be the case in any scenario that had the Cavs actually winning—in a strictly player-for-player accounting, they are very clearly less good than the ...
Make Chicken Rigatoni And Experience "The Chickening"
Here’s an axiom that’s maybe only a little bit true: everything “tastes like chicken.” Actually, almost nothing tastes like chicken... including a lot of the chicken you’ve eaten in your life. The taste of chicken is something exceptional when done right....
Smoke Some Fish Like Slavic Grandfather
We have entered the part of the year where it is finally appropriate for everyone to put away winter food—roasts, stews, squash, casseroles—and roll out the grill. It can be frustrating, though, because it’s early enough in the season that a lot of the stuff I like to eat fresh, or cook fast, isn’t ...
Make A Ham Sandwich, Dunk It In Cream Sauce, And Call It A Croque Monsieur
I often wonder whether the infamous French grouchiness isn’t born of resentment over the fact that the most fertile, bountiful turf in all of the Western world has given them only the third-best cuisine, behind both Spain and Italy. That’s gotta blow. Everything grows in France, and beautifully, and...
Spaghetti Squash Is Fantastic, So Long As You Don't Turn It Into Spaghetti
Nothing will make you appreciate the amazing chew of delicious pasta quite like substituting the sad, overmatched strands of spaghetti squash. Awful....
The Lazy, Inept Amateur's Guide To Lawn Care
Some years back, my wife and I moved out of our lovely condo in a pleasant D.C. suburb and into a repurposed garage space in my mom’s little rambler, with the goal of renting out our condo and saving enough money to eventually buy some real land. And it worked! Roughly 18 months of stifling near-mis...
Let's Make Compound Butter, Because Butter Is Good, And This Shit Is Even Better
A dumb thing to do, here, would be to tell you that the basic goodness of compound butter, its fundamental appeal, is much of anything other than that it is butter. It’s butter! That’s it. Butter good....
Make Your Own Ramen, A Rich, Hearty Tribute To Your Terrible, Broke-Ass Meals Of Yesteryear
It seems like real-deal ramen has become a thing, which is cool. Ramen is great. Here’s an especially cool thing about ramen, though: we all get to say we were down with ramen before it was cool, because we were all slurping down bowls of ramen when it was just about the least cool thing imaginable....
Let's Make Some Delicious Meatballs, And Not Be Dumbass Purists About It
Authenticity is an interesting thing, where food is concerned. We’ve reached a point, now, where it is possible to strive for authenticity in the construction of a thing while completely missing what is authentic about its origin, its nature....
Utica Greens Are The Dopest Meal You Can Make With "Greens" In The Name
We do this thing in my house where we arbitrarily shoehorn green things into the family diet, generally in quantities insufficient for any real nutritional purpose. Most often, this takes the form of a small bowl of sad lettuce splashed with cheap balsamic and presented as some sort of pre-dinner ha...
Progress! Progress? Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Every season the NFL puts out an annual report on player safety, helpfully titled the “NFL Health and Safety Report.” Now that we’ve arrived at the end of the regular season, let’s revisit the report from the preseason....
Bad Looks: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
For my money, the big NFL news this week was Diana Moskovitz’s report that discredited quack Dr. Elliot Pellman is still playing an important-seeming role in the NFL’s concussion safety apparatus. Try as they might, the NFL can’t solve concussions—that’s impossible in football—but they also can’t ke...
Another Icky Week: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
We’re down to the final four weeks of one of the crummiest NFL regular seasons anyone can remember. Your boy Adam Schefter pointed this out a few weeks ago, and the situation has not improved:...
Schrödinger's Football: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
As pointed out Tuesday, the NFL is having a terrible time with officiating this season. Or, anyway, the NFL seems to be having a terrible time with officiating this season. Are we just more aware of it? Who can say. NFL football, in fact, only exist in the abstract, and must be articulated to fans e...
Nobody Can Stop The Pacers Right Now
What the Pacers did to the Wizards last night should be goddamn illegal....
The Dipshittiest Of All Dipshit Sports Fans: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
No close examination of the bullcrap NFL would be complete without a look at NFL fans, possibly the dipshittiest of all dipshit sports fans when taken as a whole....
The Really Perplexing Stuff: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
What would it actually take to get the NFL to break its weekly PR disaster cycle? Seriously. What would it take....