miserableshitehawk Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Rotten, Rotten Week: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Woof. It might be hard to remember, now, that the NFL was having a rotten, rotten week before Deadspin uncovered the brutal details of why Greg Hardy was arrested for assaulting his ex-girlfriend....
How To Argue Without Ruining Your Relationship
So here’s the thing about romantic relationships: They’re work....
A Good Day To Look Away: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Let’s take a quick glance around a week’s worth of NFL news before we get to the good stuff:...
In Praise Of The Oxford Shirt, A Style Essential For Anonymous Drones Worldwide
We are here to discuss the Oxford shirt, which, you will find, is the most adequate piece of clothing available to mankind....
The Abyss Looks Back: Your Guide To Ignoring Football Today
Gah. Another high school kid died from a football injury this week—the seventh of this football season. What the hell....
Ah, Uniform Violations: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
This was a lousy news week for the NFL on multiple fronts: a pending CTE investigation on a former player who died young from a painkiller overdose; a ref suspended for a clock screw-up that, but for a ballsy call and some very good luck, could have cost a team a game; Johnny Manziel finding his way...
The Weekly Thresher: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Pictured: The average NFL team roster by Week 5....
A "Lifelong" Commitment, If Only Technically: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
So, the 2015 NFL Health and Safety Report opens with a message from Roger Goodell, in which the thumb-puppet-looking doofus proudly mentions the lifelong commitment the NFL makes to its players, specifically free comprehensive health and wellness screening made available to former players....
A Step In The Right Direction? Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
The NFL’s disciplinary process for on-field behavior made the news this week after Pacman Jones was fined but not suspended for what sure looked like criminal assault on Sunday. Everyone predicted a suspension—this is, after all, the NFL, where evidently 90 percent (or more) of the league’s PR strat...
Don't Laugh: Metta World Peace Can Help The Lakers
News surfaced last week that Metta World Peace had been working out at the Lakers practice facility and was getting close to a one-year deal with the team. Let Woj tell it. “Inching closer”/“an increasing expectation,” la di da. The important part is holy shit the Lakers might sign Metta World Peace...
Nobody Hates The Skins More Than Skins Fans
If you are not already, get used to seeing this sort of thing:...
It's Only Going To Get Worse: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
For those of you who are so inclined, this will be a fine time to stop watching the NFL. A great time, in fact. Maybe even the perfect time....
The Nats Are On Life Support, And Matt Williams Is Yanking Away At The Plug
Manager Matt Williams isn’t totally to blame for what’s happened to the Nats this season—they are, hands down, the most disappointing team in baseball, and their 93-win over-under from the start of the year is looking more and more hilarious by the day—but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punted in...
Shut Up About Tom Brady's Legacy
Here’s a true sentence packed with enough ridiculousness to blast a person across the room like a cannon: a U.S. District Court ruling is anticipated today or tomorrow on whether one of the NFL’s all-time greatest players can be penalized for having general knowledge that some footballs were at some...
![Good News, Siberians: Now You May Have A Happy Meal [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1402969664089828522.png)
Good News, Siberians: Now You May Have A Happy Meal [Update]
Editor’s Note: As several keen-eyed readers have pointed out, the Siberian Times source article for this post is from 2013. D’oh. Still a pretty funny image....
How To Make Perlo, The Deep South's Best Take On Chicken And Rice
Here’s the thing about South Carolina: if you drive far enough inland from the ocean, you will run out of fingers on which to count highway billboards threatening you with ultimatums like “Accept Jesus Or Burn In Hell.” Not a whole lot to recommend the place once you get out of earshot of the surf....
Awesome Old Dude Andre Miller Should Play In The NBA Forever
As you may have heard, cagey-ass old man Andre Miller has signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves for the 2015-16 NBA season. The Wolves have oft-injured, offensively challenged Ricky Rubio at the point, and down the roster they’ve got scrawny rookie Tyus Jones, and right there between the two of the...
Ian Desmond Solves The Yips, Personifies Irony, Is Screwed
After starting the season with eight errors in the Nationals’ first 15 games, Ian Desmond’s adventurous play at shortstop has mostly leveled off, to the enormous relief of his teammates and the mild disappointment of fans of slapstick comedy. Two months later he’s sitting on 14 errors, all but endin...
How To Make Chicken Liver Pâté, You Adventurer, You
Pâté is a fun word to say through your nose. Paaaaah-TAY. You should practice this often, as it will accompany the finished product well as a signal to the swells that you are one of them. ARE you enJOYing your paaaah-TAY....
How To Drive An Illegal-Ass Car For Years Without Getting Busted
So, maybe your car isn't necessarily legal to drive. You've got expired tags, an expired inspection sticker, and even an expired property tax sticker. Maybe it's been that way for more than a year. And considering your daily commute is an hour each way, in traffic, on major highways, you can practic...