miserableshitehawk Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
RJ Barrett Self-Diagnoses Terminal Kobe Brain After Being Drafted By Knicks
The Knicks got their man with the third* pick in the 2019 NBA Draft, selecting Duke one-and-done prospect R.J. Barrett. Knicks fans in the crowd went nuts as soon as the pick was announced, signaling their approval in no uncertain terms. Barrett, a Canadian, is a slick wing with diverse skills and a...
All Your Assets Are Belong To The Pelicans
The trade that sent Anthony Davis from the New Orleans Pelicans to the Los Angeles Lakers was a good one. The Lakers got a superstar to pair with LeBron James, and the Pelicans got a hefty package of young players and draft picks to put toward rebuilding their roster. One of the top assets to change...
Four Members Of One Texas Family Plead Guilty In Lucrative Masters Ticket Resale Scheme
Tickets to The Masters, held annually at Augusta National in Georgia, are notoriously difficult to come by, and prices on the secondary market are generally preposterous. Four members of one Texas family apparently seized on the arbitrage opportunities presented by this situation in order to make qu...
Alameda County Sheriff's Office Says Body-Cam Footage Cut Out Right Before Masai Ujiri Allegedly Concussed Deputy
Police want to charge Toronto Raptors president of basketball operations Masai Ujiri with a crime for allegedly concussing an Alameda County Sheriff’s Office deputy with a two-fisted shove in the aftermath of Toronto’s Finals-clinching Game 6 win in Oakland. Soon the department is expected to file a...
Longtime Track Coach And One-Time Olympian Charged With Sexual Battery Against Former Athlete
A longtime and prominent track coach and former Olympian was arrested in Los Angeles on Wednesday and charged with one felony count of sexual battery by fraud for allegedly molesting one of his former athletes. The arrest reportedly comes as the result of an Outside The Lines investigation that deta...
![Wild Man Max Scherzer Is Pitching With A Huge Shiner One Day After Breaking His Nose [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wwu2mpkix8wsr0ou04tc.png)
Wild Man Max Scherzer Is Pitching With A Huge Shiner One Day After Breaking His Nose [UPDATE]
Tuesday afternoon Max Scherzer broke his nose during batting practice, while working on his bunting. Among the many reasons this was unfortunate is poor timing: Scherzer was scheduled to pitch Wednesday evening, in the second game of a day-night doubleheader. The Nationals brought a pitcher up from ...
Cops: David Ortiz's Shooting Was An Unlikely Case Of Mistaken Identity
Dominican Republic Attorney General Jean Alain Rodríguez announced new findings Wednesday afternoon in the non-fatal shooting of Red Sox all-timer David Ortiz last month in Santo Domingo. The story, to this point, has already been fairly surprising, involving somewhere around ten co-conspirators, a ...
Mickey Callaway Has A Very Mets Reason For Overworking His Most Reliable Reliever
Mets ace Jacob deGrom was electric Tuesday night against the Atlanta Braves. Coming off a dispiriting 12–3 loss Monday to open the series, and having lost five of seven to drop four games below .500, the Mets needed deGrom to do the ace thing, and he delivered, pitching 8.1 innings and striking out ...
Expanded Protective Netting Is Coming To Major League Baseball, One Stadium At A Time
The Chicago White Sox announced Tuesday that they will extend protective netting at their stadium all the way to the foul poles this summer. They will be the first of 30 MLB teams to make the move all the way to the outfield wall, but certainly not the last....
Max Scherzer Breaks His Nose While Bunting, During Practice, For Crying Out Loud
Bunting is cool! It’s cool to surprise an infield. It’s cool to humiliate a shifted defense. It’s cool to make a noble sacrifice to advance a teammate. It’s cool to drive dipshit purists insane by bunting your way on to break up a lousy combined no-hitter. Possibly nothing in baseball is cooler than...
Wizards Wish To Make It Known They Have No Interest In Hiring A Competent General Manager
The woebegone Washington Wizards fired longtime president of basketball operations and architect of 15 years of fan frustration Ernie Grunfeld back on April 2, one week before the end of their rotten 2018–19 season. Firing a front office honcho before the end of the season would usually give a team ...
Matt Carpenter Beats A Marlins Shift With A Standup Bunt Double
Turns out the solo dinger he smashed in the bottom of the third inning was not the coolest thing Matt Carpenter did against the Miami Marlins Monday night, not by a long shot. With two down in the bottom of the fifth inning, the Marlins shifted their defense to the right side to face Carpenter. Carp...
Zach Sanford Barfs All Over Himself During Blues Stanley Cup Victory Parade
The 2019 Stanley Cup champion St. Louis Blues held their victory parade Saturday, celebrating the franchise’s first ever title. As is usually the case with victory parades, this event featured blissed-out sports men consuming inadvisable quantities of alcohol. Some handled it better than others—Bre...
Here Are Some Cool Guys Who Are Now NBA Champions
Kawhi Leonard won his second career Finals MVP Thursday night, becoming the first player in NBA history to win one in each conference. The magnitude of what he personally accomplished likely will take some time to settle in: After missing a full season due to injury and forcing his way out of San An...
Draymond Green Has Done Many Dumb Things, But Calling A Non-Existent Timeout Wasn't One Of Them
For people who enjoy watching nard-kicker and general loudmouth Draymond Green suck and fail, the 2019 NBA Finals provided few moments of satisfaction. He was mostly brilliant in the series, and made a couple of the best plays in Golden State’s Game 5 road win to push the series back to Oakland. Aft...
The Toronto Freaking Raptors Are Now NBA Champions
The Toronto Raptors, of all teams, are your new NBA champions, after pulling out a 114–110 win in Oakland in Thursday night’s Game 6. It wasn’t necessarily a series that will be remembered for its aesthetic beauty, but in the end the Raptors earned their first title with six games of incredibly suff...
Klay Thompson Helped Off With Bad Knee Injury, Heroically Returns, Sinks Free Throws, Runs Back Off, Is Out
Toward the end of the third quarter of Thursday night’s Game 6 in Oakland, Klay Thompson landed awkwardly after he was fouled on a breakaway layup by Danny Green, and appeared to badly mess up his left knee. Klay has already missed a game of this series with an injured left hamstring; the Warriors a...
![Shohei Ohtani's Superpowers Are Slowly But Surely Returning [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/glimirjxlxsei4gpdlsg.jpg)
Shohei Ohtani's Superpowers Are Slowly But Surely Returning [Update]
Shohei Ohtani has been having a ho-hum season as a hitter, entering Thursday batting .256 with a mediocre .775 OPS in 133 plate appearances, with seven home runs and just eight total extra base hits. The good news is, his power seems to be picking up. Ohtani has now socked five homers in his last ni...
Javy Baez Settles Dumb, Escalating Plunk-Off By Socking A Mighty Four-Bagger
The Colorado Rockies and Chicago Cubs wrapped up their season series Wednesday with a good old-fashioned plunk-fest. The Cubs paid back a day-old plunking imbalance by targeting Colorado’s best hitter, and the Rockies buzzed and/or plunked three different Cubs. The good news is, just as it was getti...