miserableshitehawk Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Royals-White Sox Beef Gains New Life As Pitcher Tossed For Hitting Tim Anderson In The Head
The beef between White Sox shortstop and good bat-flipper Tim Anderson and the Kansas City Royals reared its ugly head again Wednesday night, when Anderson was plunked in the helmet in the second inning by Royals starter Glenn Sparkman. In an effort to get out ahead of any escalating hostility, home...
Report: The Clippers Remain The Most Desperate Suitor In The Kawhi Leonard Sweepstakes
In keeping with his longstanding policy of having absolutely nothing interesting to say about anything, ever, Kawhi Leonard has offered very little indication of where he might prefer to sign his next long-term contract, following the conclusion of these playoffs. There’s been talk of Kawhi preferri...
Now Here Is A Preposterous Catch From Jonathan Davis
Sure, this insane highlight stab from Blue Jays outfielder Jonathan Davis came in the first inning of Wednesday night’s game at Tampa, but there were some stakes: the out kept two runs off the board after Toronto’s offense gave starter Trent Thornton a 2–0 lead, and got Thornton out of a tight spot....
Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It When Adults Lose Their Minds Over A Foul Ball
Foul ball and dinger retrieval rights shouldn’t necessarily be decided by merit. The most qualified person in a given section to score a game ball is generally going to be an adult with a baseball glove and a disconcertingly high threshold for self-humiliation. By contrast, the least qualified perso...
Marlins Cast-Off Derek Dietrich Is Now A Mashing God For The Reds
Derek Dietrich came to the Cincinnati Reds over the winter via a minor league contract, after playing the first six years of his career with the Miami Marlins. This all transpired with very little fanfare, in part because Dietrich has never been an especially consequential player. Before now, that i...
We've A New Contender For The Title Of Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Of All Time
The look on the face White Sox pitcher Evan Marshall, doing the catching for the ceremonial first pitch ahead of Tuesday night’s Royals-White Sox game, tells you something. That is not the expression of a man who has a lot of confidence in the person doing the hurling. That expression says this may ...
Antonio Brown's Unkempt Pittsburgh Lawn Is A Boon To Mother Nature, You Jerks
Mercurial superstar and occasional dick Antonio Brown was granted his trade request by the Pittsburgh Steelers and shipped to the Oakland Raiders back in early March. NFL football being the year-round occupation that it is, Brown is long gone and already participating in optional offseason workouts ...
Dennis Rodman Accused Of Randomly Slapping Guest At His 58th Birthday Party
Dennis Rodman’s travel schedule can seem pretty hectic these days. Two weeks ago he was in Newport Beach, California, moseying nonchalantly around a yoga studio while several associates crammed un-purchased merchandise into handbags and reduced a huge amethyst geode crystal to a fine powder. Ten day...
Mike Francesa Warns That Meteorologists Are In The Pocket Of BIG TRAVEL
Memorial Day weekend is once again upon us. Americans across this great nation reserve this time for 72 somber and solitary hours spent quietly honoring the sacrifices of those who gave their lives in service of the United States Armed Forces, or alternately for several bitchin’ barbecues. Whatever ...
Raptors Defense Pushes Bucks To The Toilet's Edge In Game 5 Upset
The Milwaukee Bucks, the best team of the 2018–19 regular season and by far the best team through the first two rounds of the playoffs, find themselves in the deepest of caca following a 105–99 loss to the Toronto Raptors in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Bucks will have to stave off e...
National Women's Hockey League Announces Progress Toward Paying Living Wages To Players
The National Women’s Hockey League, facing more than a little uncertainty about its future amid upheaval across North American women’s hockey, reached an agreement Thursday with its players association on an improved compensation package for players headed into the league’s fifth season of existence...
Davey Martinez's Meltdown Saved Him From Watching Yet Another Nationals Bullpen Disaster
The Nationals, sitting at 19–31 on the season and having won just one series since mid-April, very much have the look of a pile of crap. It’s not clear that the organization has accepted this as anything other than a phase, but the time is fast approaching when denial will no longer be possible. Unl...
The Orioles Should Consider Getting A Restraining Order Against Gleyber Torres
Gleyber Torres socked a solo dinger in the fifth inning of Wednesday’s Yankees-Orioles game, a muscular, opposite-field job that just cleared the Camden Yards scoreboard. The blast put the Yankees up 7–2; they’d go on to win 7–5. There was nothing particularly special or noteworthy about this home r...
White Sox Turn Ho-Hum, Unsatisfying Triple Play
You’d think anything as rare and unlikely as a triple play would include plenty of thrills and chills, possibly one or two spills, even the odd Phil. Back in August the Rangers turned a triple play that could be described as “pretty cool.” Last April the Mariners turned one on a brain goof that a pe...
Rich Hill, On The Shift: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Goddammit! Fuck!"
With two down in the bottom of the first inning of Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Rays game, Rays first baseman Ji-man Choi leaned over and bunted a first-pitch fastball from Dodgers starter Rich Hill up the third baseline for a single. This worked because the Dodgers had shifted their infield to the rig...
Mashing Titan Josh Bell Sends Another Worthless Baseball Screaming Into Hell
Friends and dinger lovers, rejoice! The mighty works of Josh Bell continue unabated into the summer. In the second inning of Wednesday night’s Rockies-Pirates game, foolish mortal Jon Gray left a puny 87-mile-per-hour changeup up in the zone, and Bell promptly sent it to the Cenobites for an eternit...
Biased Umpire Brazenly Interferes In Fiercely Contested Anthem Standoff
I don’t know how the Miami Marlins can possibly trust the umpire crew working their Wednesday night game against the Detroit Tigers, after this blatant display of partisanship by Fieldin Culbreth during the anthem standoff between Daniel Stumpf and Sandy Alcantara....
Russian Weightlifter's Lower Leg Bones Go Kerblooey During Ill-Fated 250-Kilogram Squat
The setting for this horrifying video is the Eurasian Weightlifting Championship, held May 19 in Khabarovsk in southeastern Russia. The central figure is 20-year-old Russian weightlifter Yaroslav Radashkevich, who is attempting to squat 250 kilograms, or about 551 pounds. The weight turns out to ha...
Fired-Up Raptors Thoroughly Flatten Bucks, Draw Even In Eastern Conference Finals
For the first time in this series and just the second time in these playoffs, the Milwaukee Bucks were roundly outclassed Tuesday night and fell convincingly, 120–102, to the Toronto Raptors to even up the Eastern Conference Finals. The Raptors grabbed a slim first-quarter lead and spent the rest of...
Not Surprisingly, It's Bad News When The Words "Orioles" And "Dingers" And "Record" Appear In The Same Sentence
Home runs are up across baseball. The woeful Baltimore Orioles will not be the only team whose pitchers give up what in previous eras would’ve been considered nauseating dinger totals. Still, statistics like this, courtesy of Eddie Matz of ESPN, continue to be appalling, at least in part for how suc...