miserableshitehawk Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Colts Assistant's Home Shot Dozens Of Times By Eight Unknown Gunmen
Here’s a weird and frightening offseason NFL story: The unoccupied home of Indianapolis Colts assistant Parks Frazier was reportedly shot dozens of times by a group of as many as eight unknown gunmen, according to a story from RTV6 in Indianapolis....
Shohei Ohtani's Raw Dinger Power Survived Tommy John Surgery
Shohei Ohtani returned to the Angels lineup on May 7, following a lengthy recovery from offseason Tommy John surgery. He has not pitched and will not return to the mound this season, but he’s been back in the middle of the Angels lineup now for six of their last seven games, in time for the Angels t...
Report: U.S. Navy Cracks Case Of Majestic Sky Dick
The gigantic contrail dick that graced the skies over Washington state’s Okanogan County in November 2017 was, it has long been known, the work of some number of pilots out of Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. After all, the Navy immediately apologized for the celestial dong, describing it as “unacc...
Disqualified Kentucky Derby Jockey Hit With Suspension For "Failure To Control His Mount"
While disgraced horse Maximum Security seeks justice in the courts following his disqualification in the Kentucky Derby for unruly racing, his jockey, a man named Luis Saez, has been suspended by the Kentucky Horse Racing Commission for “failure to control his mount and make the proper effort to ma...
Dennis Rodman Accused Of Stealing, Destroying Yoga Studio's 400-Pound Amethyst Crystal
Having personally brokered peace for all time between the U.S. government and North Korea, basketball Hall of Famer and all-around goof Dennis Rodman spends his time nowadays, among other things, being accused of stealing 400-pound amethyst crystals from Orange County, California yoga studios....
Losing-Ass Rockets, At Long Last, Please Remove Yourselves To The Fraud Bin Immediately
I’m sure most Rockets fans are lovely people. The Rockets have a fine basketball organization, as creative and nimble and determined as any in the NBA. And James Harden genuinely is one of the most unstoppable offensive players in modern basketball history. Now. Can that team please get all the way ...
Go To The Movies In The Morning
Two of the better movie theater experiences I’ve had in the last few years were when I saw Hereditary in June 2018, and when I saw Avengers: Endgame in April. Hereditary was weird and terrifying and I loved it; Endgame was overlong and mostly bored me to death. What those theater-going experiences h...
Dead Letters: "Dick And Ball's."
Subject: You know what......
Mike Francesa Might, <i>Might </i>Be Able To Name Four Players In The Nuggets-Trail Blazers Series
The Western Conference semifinal series between the Denver Nuggets and the Portland Trail Blazers has been very good. It was hectic and tight through the first four games, then Denver landed a heavy blow with a Game 5 wipeout. Thursday night the Blazers responded, surging ahead in the second quarter...
Josh Reddick Rips A Go-Ahead Three-Run Jack Back From The Land Of Dingers
This insane Josh Reddick catch may not have quite the stakes of Jackie Bradley Jr.’s latest ridiculous highlight, but there was plenty on the line, and anyway the catch is molto buono, my friends. Molto, molto buono. You can’t see this, but I am doing the chef’s kiss as I watch it:...
Joel Embiid Emerges From Fog Of Illness, Leads 76ers To Game 6 Win
Joel Embiid didn’t put up the hugest numbers in Thursday night’s Game 6, but if anything his pedestrian production underscores just how dominant Embiid can be when he’s not pooping out and coughing up various vital internal organs. Thursday night he was feeling good, and as a consequence the 76ers ...
Zach Smith Arrested Again
Zach Smith, Urban Meyer’s disgraced former wide receivers coach at Ohio State, was arrested again Thursday in Delaware County, Ohio, for violating the terms of a civil protection order filed by ex-wife Courtney Smith. The arrest reportedly took place at Scioto Ridge Elementary School, when Zach show...
Warriors Dodge A Whole Hailstorm Of Bullets, Hold Off Rockets In Game 5
The Warriors found themselves in a real hairy spot Wednesday night, in the second half of Game 5 of their conference semifinal series against the Houston Rockets. The Rockets were surging even before Kevin Durant went down with a lower leg injury, erasing Golden State’s early lead and drawing to wit...
Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Latest Insane Feat Is Robbing A Walk-Off Dong
Wednesday’s Red Sox-Orioles game was much more eventful than you might expect from a game featuring a Red Sox team climbing back from a rotten start and, well, the Orioles, who are trash. Chris Sale took a no-hitter into the sixth inning; later, after losing the no-no, Sale took out his frustration ...
![Kevin Durant Leaves Game After Suffering Alarming Non-Contact Leg Injury [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/rbmkyyzfpjakryfypnh6.gif)
Kevin Durant Leaves Game After Suffering Alarming Non-Contact Leg Injury [Update]
Late in the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Game 5 of Rockets-Warriors, Kevin Durant pulled up with a sudden non-contact lower leg injury, and had to leave the game. Reggie Miller, working the TNT broadcast, observed that the sequence of Durant’s injury looked strikingly similar to the Achilles t...
Tim Bontemps of ESPN has just an extremely satisfying summary of Kyrie Irving’s 2018–2019 season as the leader and guiding brain genius of this underperforming Celtics squad. As a good and righteous person who justifiably loathes all Boston sports teams, reading it will make you feel like a million ...
The Bucks Humanely Sent The Celtics To The Rainbow Bridge
In the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Celtics-Bucks game, the Celtics half-heartedly swarmed a Giannis Antetokounmpo-Eric Bledsoe pick and roll at the top of the key, and Giannis smartly dumped a little bounce pass to Bledsoe on the short roll, where he could attack a scrambled Celtics defense. ...
The Lakers' Bumbling Courtship Of Tyronn Lue Appears To Have Hit A Snag
The Lakers reportedly went through a bizarre and even troubling process to arrive at this moment in the search for their next head coach—the moment when they sit at a table and hammer out a deal with Tyronn Lue, backed by the full support of everyone in the organization. Part of that process, as rep...
Nuggets Finally Shake Loose, Put A Whupping On Trail Blazers
Some of what has made Nuggets-Trail Blazers such a fun playoff series is how evenly matched the teams appear to be. Headed into Game 5 with the series tied, neither team had won a game by more than eight points, and the last two games, a split, were decided by a grand total of seven points. One of t...