miserableshitehawk Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fate Came Back Around To Punish Max Fried's Pitching Hand
Atlanta’s Max Fried is a very cool young pitcher. He got off to a great start this season, compiling a 4–1 record and a 2.11 earned run average through his first six starts, with a scrumptious 0.991 WHIP. He has also evidently run afoul of Fate, which came to collect its due in the second inning of ...
An Ailing Joel Embiid Isn't All That Ails The 76ers
The 76ers were blown out in Game 5 Tuesday night, 125–89, by Kawhi Leonard and the Toronto Raptors. Nothing much worked for Philadelphia—the closest they came to a functional offense was Jimmy Butler willing his way to the line for 11 free throws. By the midpoint of the fourth quarter, the game had ...
Kawhi Leonard Just Dunks The Absolute Hell Out Of The 76ers
Kawhi Leonard is doing it again. He put up a 13-and-10 double-double before halftime of Game 5 of the 76ers-Raptors conference semifinal series, with three assists and a pair of steals. It’s not clear tonight that the Raptors even require all these damn heroics—they’re up 21 at the half and the Sixe...
Report: The Lakers Have A Supremely Jacked-Up Hiring Process
The Lakers are reportedly in the process of hiring former Cleveland Cavaliers head coach Tyronn Lue to replace the fired Luke Walton. Contractual parameters are being sorted out, according to Chris Haynes of Yahoo Sports. Lue’s hiring would come with the blessing of LeBron James, who of course won a...
The Unflappable Warriors Are Being Flapped By The Feisty Rockets
It wasn’t pretty—it hasn’t been pretty, no two-minute stretch of this series has been the least bit aesthetically pleasant—but the Houston Rockets outlasted the Golden State Warriors in Game 4 to knot their conference semifinal series at two games apiece....
The Celtics Appear To Be In The Deepest Of Doo Doo
The Celtics are left with a couple bad omens from Game 4, which ended Monday night with Boston fans booing their team off the court at the end of a pivotal 113–101 loss. Apart, that is, from the fact that the Bucks are now in a commanding 3–1 series lead, with Game 5 back in Milwaukee, where the Buc...
Bruins' Charlie McAvoy Given Minor Penalty After Leveling Josh Anderson With Brutal Illegal Check
Boston Bruins defenseman Charlie McAvoy lowered his shoulder and plowed it into the jaw of Columbus Blue Jackets forward Josh Anderson in the final 20 seconds of the second period of Monday night’s Game 6. For good measure, Anderson’s head recoiled directly into the fist of Zdeno Chára, before he cr...
Orioles Fan Experiences Embarrassment, Elation, Denial, And Resignation After Interfering With Live Ball
In the bottom of the first inning of Monday’s Red Sox-Orioles game, Jonathan Villar lifted a long fly ball to left field, where J.D. Martinez tracked it to the wall. The wall seemed to sneak up on Martinez a little bit, and he was unable to make the catch, with the ball dropping and Villar racing to...
The Nationals Are Having A Hard Time Adjusting To Their Self-Imposed Mediocrity
The 13–17 Washington Nationals made the oddly timed decision Thursday night to fire pitching coach Derek Lilliquist, immediately following a 2–1 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals. The Nationals hold the 23rd-ranked team earned run average in baseball, thanks largely to another putrid, horrifying ...
The Shook And Possibly Fraudulent Raptors Are Unraveling
The Raptors are being completely outclassed by the 76ers in Game 3 of their second-round playoff series. Kawhi Leonard is the only Raptor who hasn’t played like a total basket-case; as a result, the vastly more determined and cohesive Sixers are cruising to victory. The pressure is starting to show ...
Ben Simmons Gets Away With Elbowing Kyle Lowry In The Dick And Balls
This is some dirty stuff right here. In the second quarter of Thursday night’s Game 3 in the 76ers-Raptors series, Kyle Lowry boxed out Ben Simmons on the defensive glass, and Simmons toppled to the floor along the baseline. With Lowry teetering over him, Simmons threw an angry elbow directly to Low...
Buster-Ass Authorities Continue To Give A Shit About Marijuana Possession, Bust D'Angelo Russell
Nets All-Star point guard D’Angelo Russell was cited for marijuana possession Thursday when security types at LaGuardia Airport in New York discovered a stash Russell had hidden in a secret compartment of a container disguised as an Arizona Iced Tea can. This is not something that anyone should give...
It Sucks That One Of These Teams Must Be Served Up To The Warriors Like Ann Darrow To King Kong
The Denver Nuggets and Portland Trail Blazers played a choppy and bloody and occasionally stupid but highly entertaining Game 2 Wednesday night, with the Blazers prevailing on the road, 97–90, to tie up the series headed back to Portland. The winner of this series should get a trophy and a parade an...
Twins' Jonathan Schoop Smashes Baseball Into The Damn Kuiper Belt
They say a massive asteroid will zoom within 20,000 miles of Earth in the year 2029. Perhaps this “asteroid” is in fact the mighty dinger of some titanic batsman from elsewhere in our galaxy. You can’t rule it out! At any rate it is no doubt in the spirit of such intragalactic exchange that Minnesot...
![Torrey Craig's Face Smashed Up And Bloodied By Opponent's Arm And Teammate's Leg [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/m3lwkjhcyhb8zvevmpzj.png)
Torrey Craig's Face Smashed Up And Bloodied By Opponent's Arm And Teammate's Leg [Update]
Second-year forward Torrey Craig has been surprisingly huge for the Nuggets this postseason, playing about 20 minutes a night and posting a blistering 71 percent true shooting mark through eight games. The Nuggets benefit tremendously from his scrappy, versatile defense and respectable perimeter sho...
Report: Rich Dickwads Are Freaking Out About More Potential College Admissions Bribery Charges
Here is just an extremely satisfying paragraph, from a delightful New York Times report about Los Angeles “elites” enduring “ripples of fear” as prosecutors progress toward another round of charges against as-yet unidentified parents who participated in the college admissions bribery scheme with The...
Hurricanes' Justin Faulk Waltzes Out Of Penalty Box And Directly Into All Kinds Of Glory
Hurricanes defenseman Justin Faulk was hit with a two-minute hooking penalty at the 9:51 mark of the second period of Wednesday’s Game 3 of the Islanders-Hurricanes series, with the score tied a one goal apiece. The Canes successfully killed the ensuing Islanders power play, which functionally ended...
The Warriors' Death Lineup Is, Well, Death
The Warriors took Game 2 of their second-round series with the Houston Rockets, 115–109. Golden State didn’t play especially well, and the Rockets were able to hang around and give the impression of putting up a fight, but only in the way that a small child can be said to put up a fight while you pu...
Steph Curry's Finger Mangled And James Harden's Eye Gouged In Opening Minutes Of Game 2
Basketball fans had every reason to expect Game 2 of the Rockets-Warriors Western Conference semifinal series to be ugly, with the Rockets working the officials in embarrassing fashion and franchise enemy Scott Foster assigned to the refereeing crew. But this was not the start that anyone imagined!...
Khris Middleton Feasts, Then Giannis Feasts, And Suddenly The Celtics Were Just A Tasty Meal
Giannis Antetokounmpo and Khris Middleton went nuts Tuesday night, and the Bucks cruised to an impressive Game 2 blowout win over the Boston Celtics, 123–102, in Milwaukee. Giannis devouring puny mortals is expected, but Middleton playing like a bloodthirsty maniac in a crucial playoff game is very...