miserableshitehawk Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Like Adam Wayne-Rooney, Am I Right
The perennially overhyped Washington Nationals loaded the bases against Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright in the second inning of Tuesday night’s game in D.C. The bad news for Nationals fans is, they did it on an intentional walk of eighth batter Wilmer Difo, which put pitcher Aníbal Sánchez at the...
What The Absolute Hell Was Kyle Lowry Doing?
It was possible to miss this in realtime. I did. For one thing, it happened quickly, and devolved quickly into distracting chaos. For another, even if your eyes gathered the information and transmitted it whole to your brain, your brain may have processed it as an error and erased it, because it is ...
Nuggets Bozos Turn Fast-Break Into Slapstick Disaster
Late in the first half of Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinal series between Portland and Denver, Jamal Murray swiped a Blazers inbounds pass and tore ass the other way, in a two-on-two break with teammate Malik Beasley streaking ahead of him. With two skilled and athletic guards pushing ahea...
In Game With Gut-Sick Joel Embiid, Raptors Are The Ones To Shit Their Pants
Joel Embiid was listed as probable headed into Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the 76ers and Raptors, with a case of gastroenteritis. It’s a stomach virus, and is experienced as a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea, which is definitely not the condition you want to be in whil...
![Here Is A Horrifying Orioles Statistic That Somehow Has Nothing To Do With Chris Davis [CORRECTED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ydymfiqsgz4hmsu0f2xt.jpg)
Here Is A Horrifying Orioles Statistic That Somehow Has Nothing To Do With Chris Davis [CORRECTED]
Baseball fans are going to be treated to some gruesome numbers this season, courtesy of the bottom five or so teams in baseball, mired in that group of organizations that have no intention of being good in 2019. But the Orioles, man, those poor suckers are rowing out to heretofore unknown new horizo...
Bucks, After Having Butts Kicked All The Way Off In Game 1: Why Would We Change Anything?
The major question coming out of Game 1 of the ballyhooed Celtics-Bucks series is how the Bucks plan to recover after having home-court advantage yanked away in a discouraging loss. The long and short of it is, the Bucks, from head coach Mike Budenholzer on down, do not feel that strategic adjustmen...
A Non-Fanboy's Spoiler-Laden And Mostly Cranky Review Of <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Avengers: Endgame is not a movie. Here is where some poor Ringer writer with Bill Simmons looming over their shoulder like Dennis Quaid in that The Intruder trailer would write “it is a Cultural Event” or “it is the End Of An Era” or “it is the high water mark of brand synergy in the IP marketplace”...
Yasiel Puig Goof Becomes Yasiel Puig Highlight Via One Bazooka Outfield Assist
When Freddie Freeman saw his third-inning liner to right-center squirt away from the glove of Reds outfielder Yasiel Puig and toward the warning track Thursday night, he made the perfectly sensible decision to chug his way to second base. That’s a sound, heady base-running decision, which is why it ...
Rockets "Intend No Disrespect To Clippers" While Functionally Discounting Any Chance Of Clippers Advancing
The Rockets find themselves in the advantageous position of having closed out their first-round series days ahead of whoever they’ll eventually meet in the second round, giving them a head-start on preparations for the series to come. It would be reasonable, under the circumstances, to tilt the bala...
The Bucks Will Be Without Malcolm Brogdon To Start The Celtics Series, Which Frankly Is Bullcrap
Bucks-Celtics was one of the best and most hotly contested series in last year’s NBA playoffs, and Bucks-Celtics II (The Kyriedux?) promises to be, if nothing else, an opportunity for Super Giannis to triumphantly hurl the team that eliminated him last season into a dumpster. Which is what makes tod...
The Sassy Clippers Once Again Made The Warriors Look Like Frauds
When the Warriors dropped Game 2 of their first-round playoff series against the Los Angeles Clippers, it seemed like it might’ve been because they were overconfident, lackadaisical, and maybe even a little tuned-out. This would seem to have been confirmed by their subsequent 27-point demolition of ...
Rhys Hoskins Trolled The Mets With A Leisurely Stroll Around The Bases
Brawny Phillies slugger Rhys Hoskins smashed a moonshot homer to left in the top of the ninth inning of Philadelphia’s 6–0 win over the Mets Tuesday night. The dinger came at the expense of Mets reliever Jacob Rhame, who then had to endure Hoskins taking a looooooong time to round the bases:...
Rockets Survive Utah's Aggressive Butt Defense, Advance
The Utah Jazz needed a few games to get there, but they finally worked their way into fighting range of the Houston Rockets over the course of their first-round playoff series. The hilarious strategy of defending James Harden’s butt started to yield dividends, and a Rockets offense that scored 122 a...
Vlad Jr. Is Finally, Finally Bringing His Mighty Dingers To The Majors
Huzzah, baseball friends! Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who has been the best and most exciting and most popular player in the Toronto Blue Jays organization for more than a year, is now finally good enough to join the Toronto Blue Jays:...
The Trevor Rosenthal Situation Has Gone From Funny To Gloomy To Dangerous
There can’t be many experiences in sports more bewildering and humiliating than the yips, and any player going through something yip-like deserves sympathy, if not pity. In the case of Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal, it especially sucks to think that his current season-long inability to throw s...
Mallex Smith Just Straight-Up Swatted Austin Hedges's Fly Ball Over The Wall
Not all dingers are created equal. Some rocket out of the park at 118 miles an hour and are never seen again; some are routine fly balls that get pushed a few inches beyond the wall by a helpful wind. Some stay in the yard, like cowards. This one, from Austin Hedges of the San Diego Padres, had no b...
Damian Lillard Eliminates Thunder In Completely Psychotic Fashion
Damian Lillard opened Tuesday night’s Game 5 with a 19-point first quarter, keeping the Blazers close while Oklahoma City made everything thrown even vaguely in the direction of the basket. Lillard finished the first half with 34 points. He opened the second half with an utterly preposterous 30-foo...