miserableshitehawk Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bullcrap NCAA Red Tape Screws Virginia Tech Transfer Out Of Family Medical Hardship Waiver
The NCAA has recently made it marginally easier for Division I athletes to transfer schools without losing a year of eligibility. The summiting of this particular mountaintop will see athletes transferring according to their own priorities with absolute freedom, but the NCAA will fight that tooth an...
Phillies Third Base Coach Owns The Absolute Hell Out Of Maikel Franco
One of the cooler moments televised baseball has to offer is a liner to left with a reasonably quick runner on second base. The camera cuts to the standard view of a ball in play, and you get a good look at everything happening all at once: the ball cruising through the left side and into the outfie...
Kelli Tennant Says Luke Walton Laughed At Her Pleas During Alleged Hotel Assault
Reporter Kelli Tennant held a press conference Tuesday afternoon to address her lawsuit against Sacramento Kings head coach Luke Walton, who she says sexually assaulted her in a hotel room in late 2014. Tennant’s account included few new details beyond what was reported Monday night—Walton allegedly...
These Goddamned Suns Have Fired Their Goddamned Coach
The bottomlessly dysfunctional Phoenix Suns, who absolutely cannot get anything right, ever, have fired innovative head coach Igor Kokoškov after one season at the helm of their flailing, utterly incompetent and incoherent basketball program....
Bucks Take Pistons' Best Punch, Then Coolly Dropkick Them Into A Toilet
The Pistons got off to a very good start Monday night, at home, in Game 4 of their playoff series against Central division foe Milwaukee. Blake Griffin was lively; Reggie Jackson poured in 20 first-half points; the Pistons all but played Brook Lopez and Khris Middleton off the court. It was about as...
Bryce Harper Ejected For Arguing Balls And Strikes, Once Again Goes Apeshit
One thing Phillies fans have yet to experience much of is new slugger Bryce Harper’s at-times contentious relationship with baseball’s umpires. He has been known to shout “fuck you” at them; they have been known to eject him for mysterious reasons. In general the two sides seem to harbor quite a bit...
Reports: Luke Walton Sued By Reporter Kelli Tennant For Sexual Assault
Brand new Sacramento Kings head coach Luke Walton is being sued by sports reporter Kelli Tennant, who alleges that Walton sexually assaulted her in his hotel room at the Casa Del Mar Hotel in Santa Monica. The initial report by TMZ doesn’t say when the alleged assault occurred, but subsequent report...
Bar-Hopping Easter Bunny Takes No Prisoners In Brutal Orlando Street Fight
Easter is not just a time to be reminded of Jesus’s miraculous resurrection by the stirring comeback win of Tiger Woods at Augusta. It is also apparently a time for the Easter Bunny to jump into a street fight with bad intentions and land heavy blows on one of the participants, as apparently happene...
Former UFC Fighter Rodrigo De Lima Killed Following Altercation With Rideshare Driver
Former UFC fighter Rodrigo de Lima was killed Sunday in a fatal Uber incident that somehow does not involve the company’s new self-driving brigade. According to reports, de Lima had an argument and “altercation” with Uber driver Jefferson Roger Maciel Barata, which ended with de Lima leaving Barata’...
Pissed-Off Noah Syndergaard Sandbagged By Schedule, Teammate's Random Piss Test
Noah Syndergaard pitched brilliantly against the Nationals in the Mets home opener on Thursday afternoon. He allowed three baserunners through six innings of work, struck out six, and carried a no-hitter through five innings. He also took the loss, due to the combination of an equally dominant perfo...
I Have No Idea How Corey Brewer Still Has All His Limbs After This Fall
Kings guard Corey Brewer made an extremely Corey Brewer play at the end of the first quarter of tonight’s game against the visiting Cavaliers. He anticipated a routine pass from Cleveland’s David Nwabwa and made a damn-the-torpedoes commitment to intercepting it, which is a risky play, although not ...
Report: UNC Women's Basketball Coach Sylvia Hatchell Accused Of Racially Offensive Remarks And Endangering Players
Sylvia Hatchell, the University of North Carolina’s Hall of Fame women’s basketball coach, is being investigated by the university after players’ parents accused her of making “racially offensive remarks” and pressuring players with serious injuries to continue playing. Hatchell and her entire coach...
Arrogant Dickwad Umpire Shouts "I Can Do Anything I Want" After Goading A.J. Hinch Into An Ejection
In the top of the second inning of Wednesday night’s Astros-Rangers game, home plate umpire Ron Kulpa called a low strike on a pitch from Rangers starter Mike Minor. It was not Kulpa’s first controversial strike zone call of the evening, and it greatly displeased the Astros bench. Kulpa, a sensitive...
Nationals Reliever Trevor Rosenthal Is Stuck On Infinity
A fun little quirk of the first few days of a new baseball season is the wild swings of relievers’ statistics. A seventh inning guy who gets roughed up in the wrong spot can spend a week with gruesome numbers; a specialist who serves up a dinger to his lone assignment can spend a night or two with a...
Gregg Popovich Gets Himself Ejected Just 63 Seconds Into Spurs Game
Spurs head coach and noted curmudgeon Gregg Popovich must’ve had someplace else he needed to be Wednesday night. At the 10:57 mark of the first quarter of his team’s game against the Denver Nuggets—just 63 seconds after tipoff—Popovich was hit with a double-technical and ejected....
A Reasoned And Correct Ranking Of NBA Teams, By Their Suitability For Zion Williamson
Zion Williamson is going to be the first overall pick of the 2019 NBA Draft. What follows is a reasoned and near-scientific ranking of all NBA teams in order of how cool it would be if they had Williamson as a rookie. Only 14 teams are actually in the running to win the draft lottery for the right t...
Thai Soccer Team Players And Coach Were Strategically Loaded Up On Ketamine During Dangerous Rescue
The conditions of the rescue of the 12 soccer teens and their coach from the Tham Luang cave complex back in July were incredibly harrowing, and everyone involved faced the imminent risk of death throughout the ordeal. The players themselves were undoubtedly terrified, but according to a new letter ...
Possibly Nothing Is More Grating Than The Noise Of Paulie Malignaggi Talking Shit
You can decide for yourself the degree to which this incident between Paulie Malignaggi and Artem Lobov is kayfabe. Malignaggi and Lobov are doing some advanced media buildup ahead of an anticipated Bare Knuckle FC bout tentatively scheduled for June 22. Lobov has to get past UFC veteran Jason Knigh...
Impossible To Imagine Bryce Harper Recovering From This Devastating Fan Sign
Sure, Bryce Harper may have gone 3-for-5 with a double, a dinger, and three RBI in a dominant Phillies win over his form team, but one angry Nationals fan made a savage sign out of a grey “Bryce Arnold” image, framed by an oddly formatted and incomplete border, on a wrinkly and curling sheet of 8.5"...