miserableshitehawk Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Le'Veon Bell Continues Self-Imposed NFL Exile By Signing With Jets
It took a year-long holdout, and alienating many of his Steelers teammates, and enduring the experience of having his role comfortably usurped by another dirt-cheap replacement, but Le’Veon Bell has finally successfully ducked franchise tag hell and engineered his way to a long-term contract. Sadly...
Luka Dončić Suffers Through What Must Surely Be The Worst Game Of His Career<em></em>
An hour or so before his Spurs went out and beat the Dallas Mavericks, Gregg Popovich described rookie sensation Luka Dončić as “a beautiful basketball player” and “a consummate basketball player” who “does everything.” In repayment for these lovely compliments, Dončić went out and played what he wi...
NTSB Report: Michigan's 2017 Plane Accident Was A Couple Split-Second Decisions Away From Catastrophe
Back in March 2017, the charter plane of the Michigan men’s basketball team aborted takeoff from an airport in Ypsilanti, crashed through a chain link fence beyond the end of the runway, and came to rest in a field beyond a surface road and a ditch beyond the airport boundary. The plane was all tras...
“Financial success has come uncoupled from baseball success. Five franchises have payrolls that are not even halfway to the $206 million luxury tax limit—minor-league teams charging major-league prices, and collecting major-league revenues.” Go and read Tommy Craggs on baseball’s busted economics, y...
Jay Glazer Has An Idea For Making NFL Officiating Infinitely Dumber
Crappy NFL officiating marred the end of last season and sent the entire New Orleans metropolitan region into a massive collective freakout that may or may not continue to this very day. The current sorry state of refereeing is the culmination of years of NFL football becoming progressively harder t...
This Is Maybe The Most Depressing Play Of LeBron's Entire Career
The Lakers lost again Wednesday night, their fourth loss in a row, and eighth in ten games. Since January 1 they’re a crummy 9–19, and they’re now five games under .500 with 17 left to play, and 6.5 back of the Western Conference eighth seed. They’re dead....
76ers Subjected To Two Miserable Last-Second Losses In One Game
The 76ers lost by a point to the lowly Bulls Wednesday night, 108–107, in Chicago. Whatever. The Sixers have performed admirably during this suddenly indefinite stretch of games without Joel Embiid, and the Bulls are much better now than they were before the trade deadline, and the Sixers were on th...
Report: The Lakers May Have Leaked The Trade Offer Details That Nuked Their Own Team Chemistry
The whole Anthony Davis trade deadline saga was twisted up and poisoned by posturing and strategic leaking and all the passive-aggressive indirect communication that could be crammed into a day, each day, for a solid two weeks. But Brian Windhorst’s delicious scoop—that the Pelicans conducted trade ...
Hmm, Maybe The Warriors With DeMarcus Cousins Aren't Invincible After All
There’s still time for Golden State’s all-All-NBA five-man lineup to coalesce into the world-vaporizing unit it appears to be on paper, but a few terrifying stretches aside that hasn’t happened yet. Inserting DeMarcus Cousins into their rotation has so far been a bit of a negative for the Warriors, ...
Turns Out Karl-Anthony Towns Is Still Pretty Good
It’s wild to remember that this time last season the Timberwolves were cruising to 47 wins in a deeper Western Conference, headed for their first playoff appearance in 14 years. With Jimmy Butler reunited with head coach Tom Thibodeau, and Karl-Anthony Towns ascending, and Andrew Wiggins uhh making ...
The Lakers Are Exhausted And Depleted And Probably Dead
It can seem a little cheesy and cherry-picked to focus much criticism on LeBron’s play-to-play effort for these fading Lakers. For one thing, this roster is a complete mess, and the team’s on-court chemistry is currently in the toilet, and everyone is screwing up all the time. For another, LeBron is...
Man Who Starred In Summer Studio Flick About His Own Brand-Developed Signature Character: I Do Not Desire Fame
Kyrie Irving—a professional basketball player who last summer starred in a feature film about a signature character he developed in a marketing campaign with one of the world’s most prominent brands—wishes to make it known that actually he has no interest in using his basketball career to cultivate ...
Sabres Lose By A Goal After Jason Pominville Rejects His Own Point-Blank Shot
In the third period of Monday night’s Oilers-Sabres tilt, with Edmonton up a goal and less than four minutes left on the clock, the puck made its way to Sabres winger Jason Pominville, in the crease, with absolutely nothing to stop him from scoring the tying goal. Nothing, that is, except for his ow...
Old Man Thabo Sefolosha Is The Latest Secret Weapon In Utah's Weird Arsenal
The Utah Jazz ran out to a big lead over the Nuggets Thursday night, then held on for dear life during a late Denver surge and escaped with a 111–104 victory. A win over the Nuggets is a good win; a win over the Nuggets in Denver is, these days, almost unheard of. The Jazz did it while missing Ricky...
Old Man Thabo Sefolosha Is The Latest Secret Weapon In Utah's Weird Arsenal
The Utah Jazz ran out to a big lead over the Nuggets Thursday night, then held on for dear life during a late Denver surge and escaped with a 111–104 victory. A win over the Nuggets is a good win; a win over the Nuggets in Denver is, these days, almost unheard of. The Jazz did it while missing Ricky...
Dead Letters: "VIETNAM MOTHERFUCKERS"
Subject: Isner/Opelka article...
Dead Letters: "VIETNAM MOTHERFUCKERS"
Subject: Isner/Opelka article...
Suns Fans Wait Hours For Josh Jackson But Instead Get Free Beer, Which Is Way Better
Several dozen otherwise normal adult human beings waited for several hours in a Phoenix grocery store Wednesday night for an opportunity to meet and score an autograph from utterly unremarkable Suns second-year forward Josh Jackson. The deal, arranged through the team, had it that fans who showed up...