miserableshitehawk Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
DeMarcus Cousins Hit With Really Dumb Technical Foul For Hurling Opponent's Shoe Into Crowd
DeMarcus Cousins has received many technical fouls in his career, and the majority of them have been well-earned. This one, from Monday night’s Warriors win over the Hornets, was 100 percent, Grade-A bologna. Cousins, checking Cody Zeller away from the ball and out near the arc, noticed Jeremy Lamb’...
Sweet Towering Prince Boban Marjanovic Injured In Nasty Fall
Late in the fourth quarter of Monday night’s narrow road win over the Pelicans, huge galoot Boban Marjanovic got tangled up with Pelicans not-nearly-as-big man Cheick Diallo going for a loose ball. Boban’s right leg got folded up between Diallo’s legs, and twisted hideously as the two players fell t...
Roman Reigns Announces Return To Wrestling With Cancer Back In Remission
WWE superstar Roman Reigns, who stunned a Monday Night Raw crowd back in October by announcing his long battle with leukemia and relinquishing the Universal Championship belt, returned to Raw on Monday to announce that his cancer has gone back into remission. Reigns says he will be returning to the ...
Roman Reigns Announces Return To Wrestling With Cancer Back In Remission
WWE superstar Roman Reigns, who stunned a Monday Night Raw crowd back in October by announcing his long battle with leukemia and relinquishing the Universal Championship belt, returned to Raw on Monday to announce that his cancer has gone back into remission. Reigns says he will be returning to the ...
The Cowardly Pelicans Use "Rest" To Yank Anthony Davis Out Of The Lakers Matchup
The Pelicans, the mostly abandoned side project of the New Orleans Saints organization, host the Los Angeles Lakers Saturday evening. Under normal circumstances this would make for a promising matchup—LeBron James versus Anthony Davis! Superstars collide! Under another set of perfectly reasonable ci...
The Infamous Orchids Of Asia Massage Parlor Is Now Just Another Place To Take A Selfie<em></em>
JUPITER, Florida — It’s hard to imagine anyone driving to Orchids of Asia for a massage, let alone being driven there in a luxury automobile from a luxury home in a ritzy town 30 minutes away. It’s a drab, faded, unimpressive-looking place, with sun-bleached signage, in a shopping center that offers...
Bulldogs Undone By Stuffed Dog In Last-Second Loss To Other Bulldogs
Wednesday night the crummy Georgia Bulldogs did very well to come back against a Mississippi State team that led in the second half by as many as 17 points, at 44–27. From that point until the final second of regulation, the home team outscored the other Bulldogs 40-23, including a clutch three-poin...
Darren Rovell Is Absolutely Losing It Over The Shoe<em></em>
Zion Williamson’s shoe exploded Wednesday night, in the first minute of the big Duke game against North Carolina, and Zion hurt his knee on the play. For most people, this is rotten news for human or basketball reasons; for screeching brandwraith Darren Rovell, this is the single most exhilarating t...
Report: Wisconsin School District Under Fire Over Coach Handing Out Gross, Objectifying Awards To High School Cheerleaders
Professional cheerleaders being subjected to degrading and objectifying appraisals and overall treatment is, infuriatingly, pretty much par for the course. Frankly, it’s probably old hat at every level, but anyway this story out of Wisconsin is a useful reminder of just how much gross shit cheerlead...
“A lot of people can say things, but I’m superior in action and I’m ready for any conversation about what I’m doing because this is the realest shit.” Remember Chris Douglas-Roberts? Dana O’Neil of The Athletic catches up with CDR—now calling himself Supreme Bey—during a colorful phase of post-NBA p...
Golfer Matt Kuchar, Weary From Everyone Telling Him He's Awful, Apologizes For Stiffing His Caddie And Pays Up
Pro golfer Matt Kuchar announced today that he’s seen the light on the decision to stiff his fill-in caddie at a tournament in Mexico in November, no doubt due to the hearty all-shit diet he’s consumed in the months since. Kuchar offered an apology and says he has now settled up with caddie David Or...
Alvin Gentry Turns Frosty As Hell When Asked About Anthony Davis Leaving Arena Mid-Game
The depressing Anthony Davis situation in New Orleans brushed right up against disaster Thursday night, when Davis sustained a shoulder injury at the very end of the first half of an eventual Pelicans win over the Oklahoma City Thunder. A significant Davis injury, sustained while playing meaningless...
The Knicks Do The Unthinkable And Win A Basketball Game
For just the second time since the calendar flipped over to 2019, the Knicks have won a regular season NBA basketball game, topping the lowly Hawks—and in Atlanta, no less—by the score of 106–91. It’s been 41 days since the team last tasted victory, a span covering a franchise-record 18 consecutive ...
Yahoo Sports Columnist Pat Forde Cooked And Ate This Mess
Once, long ago, I was staying the night at a friend’s house when his family’s very old Basset Hound, Frances, took an extremely unpleasant shit on the kitchen floor. There was a sturdy mound of dense turds coated in an expanding puddle of glistening, phlegmy ooze, and it had a stench that could brea...
Steve Kerr Goes Fucking Ballistic At The Climax Of A Warriors Meltdown
In the fourth quarter of Wednesday night’s Warriors-Trail Blazers game, referee Kenny Mauer went to the replay monitor to check a hard foul from Draymond Green on a cutting Zach Collins. The game had already gotten chippy, after a huge Collins chase-down block at the other end seemed to unsettle the...
Isaiah Thomas's Excellent Sports Child Makes It Impossible To Root Against His Shrimpy Dad
Isaiah Thomas returned to the court Wednesday night for the first time in nearly 11 months, as a reserve for the Denver Nuggets. He was pretty good, going for eight points in 13 minutes of burn, and finishing plus-2 in a game the Nuggets won on another hideous Nikola Jokic game-winner....
“I joked that if we started our sites a year earlier we’d be Mark Cuban right now.” If you liked the New York Times story about the indispensable Sports Reference network of sites, here’s an even better one, from a year ago, with much more meat on its bones, from Noah Frank of WTOP. It’s worth your ...
Someone Finally Posterized Jarrett Allen, And It Was Marquese Chriss
Tonight is apparently a good night for bouncy young dudes on horrendous Eastern Conference cellar-dwellers to rise up and violently jam on someone whose season hasn’t already ended. First we had Kevin Knox posterizing the hell out of Ben Simmons, and now we’ve got Marquese Chriss of the Cavaliers th...
Denver's Joe Flacco Trade Gets The Coveted Mike Francesa Seal Of Approval
John Elway has a very poor history of acquiring quarterbacks for his Denver Broncos. This isn’t to say he can’t do it, or that he’s doomed to failure, or even that all his failures to date are necessarily his fault. Maybe he’s been really unlucky! Point is, if you’re looking for evidence that being ...
Dan Snyder's Sleazy Stadium Scheme Is Crumbling Around Him
Dan Snyder’s underhanded scheme to plop a new home for his constitutionally corrupt and dysfunctional football team somewhere in the DC metropolitan area is suddenly in the deepest of shit. The DC power-move went to shit, and now the proposed site in Maryland, the acquisition of which would’ve requi...