miserableshitehawk Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Klay Thompson's Finger Briefly Points In Surprising New Direction After Gross Injury
Klay Thompson’s Tuesday night got off to a nauseating start, when his finger did something very gross in the first quarter of the Warriors’ home game against the Utah Jazz. Thompson was working against Donovan Mitchell when his hand appeared to smash into Mitchell’s side, and came away looking very ...
Kevin McHale Doesn't Realize He's On Air, Calls Someone A "Dickhead"
TNT rolled right through a few quiet seconds of a dead-ball in the first half of Tuesday night’s Celtics-76ers game, leaving the Players Only broadcast crew to chat through what might normally be filled by a relevant chyron and/or the small-talk skills of a professional play-by-play announcer. It se...
The NBA Is Tying Itself Into A Big Knot Over Another Stupid Tampering Concern
The Lakers issued a statement Monday evening clarifying the timeline of communication between Magic Johnson and Ben Simmons, back in November, when Simmons reached out to Magic for tips about playing in the NBA as a humongous point guard who can’t shoot. This is something I’m afraid we all have to c...
Thirsty Rockets Gloat Over Video Of James Harden Committing Grave Robbery
The Houston Rockets resorted to just the saddest damn evidence imaginable Monday night, in an effort to push back against James Harden’s well-earned reputation as an often distracted and indifferent defensive player:...
Report: Nebraska Running Back Facing Revenge Porn And Child Porn Charges Over Video Of Alleged Rape
Nebraska running back Maurice Washington is being charged under California’s “revenge porn” law for keeping a 2016 video on his phone of a then-15-year-old classmate being sexually assaulted, and sending the video to the victim along with the message, “Remember this hoe.” NBC Bay Area reports that t...
Mario Hezonja Interrupts Dreary Tank-Off To Murder Poor Marquese Chriss
Do not watch tonight’s Knicks-Cavaliers game. The Knicks have lost 16 straight and a disgusting 24 of their last 25 games; the Cavs have lost 22 of their last 25 and have the worst net rating in the NBA. Neither organization exactly wants to win this game, and given the quality of the basketball pro...
The NBA's Anti-Tanking Reform For Sure Hasn't Solved Sucking
The NBA recently messed with the odds in the draft lottery in order to discourage teams from tanking, but the real fruits of that move will be revealed over time, and anyway certain teams—looking at you, Phoenix—need no promise of draft lottery gold in order to just profoundly suck and lose all the ...
Lakers Recover Some Dignity With A Dramatic Road Win Over The Dreaded Celtics
As fun as it always is when the Celtics lose at home, it’s even more amusing when the loss is to their historic rivals from Los Angeles. Thursday night’s game improved even on that scenario, with the Lakers reeling after spending the last week or so in trade deadline hell, and the Celtics riding hig...
The Zombie Pelicans Will Cross Their Fingers And Allow Anthony Davis To Play Out The Season
Having used these last few weeks for nothing more productive than shedding salary and spiting the Lakers, and having sagged now to 13th place in the Western Conference standings, the Pelicans have announced their decision to return Anthony Davis to their rotation for the rest of this lost and wasted...
Report: Southern Miss Coach Who Wanted To Hire Art Briles Also Tried To Add A Player Accused Of Two Knifepoint Rapes
Southern Miss head football coach Jay Hopson firmly disagreed with his university’s decision this week not to hire disgraced former Baylor coach Art Briles, saying that Briles “deserves a second chance” and noting that he “committed no crime.” Thursday The Athletic’s Nicole Auerbach reported a depre...
You're Not Going To Believe This, But Ernie Grunfeld Said Something Very Dumb To Defend His Very Dumb Decisions
The Wizards, in their ongoing quest to be the most irrelevant American professional sports team, have now traded away every one of their own second-round draft picks between now and 2024. They’ve dealt three second-round picks in salary dump moves just this season; yesterday they dealt a future seco...
Report: The Pelicans Invented A New Kind Of Tampering And Used It To Exact Sweet Revenge On The Hated Lakers
It looks increasingly like the Pelicans have no real intention of dealing with the Lakers ahead of tomorrow’s trade deadline. The Lakers have made their whole damn team available in offers for Anthony Davis, and the Pelicans apparently haven’t made any concrete counteroffers, and the only observable...
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....
There Is No Prize For Getting Under The Luxury Tax
The Heat and Pistons are currently eighth and ninth in the Eastern Conference, straddling the line between a playoff berth and a lottery berth, and separated by a game and a half in the standings. The East being what it is, it’s possible for a team to be very close to the playoff race and also very ...
John Wall Imperils Several Perfectly Fine Ligaments Threatening JuJu Smith-Schuster Over Injury Joke
Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster gave some very mild business to John Wall over the particulars of his latest injury, which involved Wall rupturing his Achilles tendon while walking around his own home. Wall is no doubt in a sensitive state of mind at the moment, and he was not amused:...
Raiders Stiff-Armed By San Francisco In Mark Davis's Desperate Search For A Temporary Home
The saga of Mark Davis looking for a temporary home for his relocating Raiders took another stupid turn this week, after the team reportedly arrived at a plan to play their home games in nearby San Francisco. Turns out that plan, like so many of this idiot organization’s endeavors, was a big dumb n...
Everything Clearly Hunky-Dory In Lakerland
The Lakers got their doors blown all the way off in a humiliating loss to the Indiana Pacers Tuesday night, by the eye-popping score of 136–94. Magic Johnson is currently hoping to flip several of his team’s young rotation guys for one of the five best basketball players on earth—at the rate that th...
Pacers Fans Taunt Brandon Ingram With Ruthless "LeBron's Gonna Trade You" Chant
The Lakers are very sleepily facing the Indiana Pacers Tuesday night. Everything about this game feels dreary and perfunctory—the Lakers have already offered up half their roster in a trade for Anthony Davis, while the Pacers are playing out the string on a season that lost much of its promise once ...
Lonzo Ball To The Suns Is, In Fact, An Extremely Cool Idea
The Lakers are including Lonzo Ball in trade talks with the New Orleans Pelicans, as part of an effort to bring Anthony Davis to Los Angeles. The Pelicans want more in the trade than the Lakers have so far offered, and possibly more than the Lakers are able to offer. Meanwhile Lonzo would prefer to ...
Dodgers Fan Killed By Foul Ball To The Head Suffered During August Game
A 79-year-old grandmother was struck in the head by a foul ball at an August 25 game at Dodger Stadium, and died days later from “acute intracranial hemorrhage,” reports ESPN’s Outside the Lines. The victim, Linda Goldbloom, was sitting above the protective netting extending from behind home plate d...