miserableshitehawk Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Thunder And Spurs Preview What The Second Half Has In Store For The Western Conference
If you missed Thursday night’s Thunder-Spurs game, you missed a doozy. It went to double overtime, and the teams combined for 301 total points, which made this the first 300-point NBA game since 2006. The superstar players were mostly fantastic, but there was enough time and room in the game for guy...
Truly Mike Malone Has A Bright Offensive Mind And Must Be Considered For All NFL Head Coaching Vacancies
All I’m saying is, if Kliff Kingsbury and Matt LeFleur* can be hired as NFL head coaches because they once worked with preternaturally gifted football passers, surely Denver Nuggets head coach Mike Malone at least deserves an interview. Let’s see Ryan Tannehill or Jared Goff top this one!...
High School Player Coolly Nails The Game-Winning Interception-Into-Buzzer-Beater
You will have to forgive this high school buzzer-beater for having taken place in the least dramatic setting, a dreary, overlit, too-large gym with clusters of fans spread over mostly empty bleachers. The play itself is very, very cool....
Andy Murray Will Retire After Wimbledon Due To Chronic Hip Pain
An emotional Andy Murray used a press conference Thursday ahead of the Australian Open to announce that the remainder of his tennis career will come down to hoping his bum hip holds out long enough for him to retire from tennis on his own terms, six months from now, after Wimbledon....
Beefy Baseball Hero Willians Astudillo Unabashedly Admires The Hell Out Of His Handiwork
When last we checked on large lad Willians Astudillo, he was hoofing it from first to home with the crazed eyes and petrified rictus of a man being chased by wolves. It’s cold now, and dark, and the things of summer are but painful memories, but it turns out baseball is being played somewhere, and w...
Idiot On The Court Rudely Upstages Nikola Jokic's Game-Winner
Nikola Jokic dumped in a highly Jokic-esque bucket with 2.4 seconds remaining Tuesday night to beat the Miami Heat. It was goofy and ugly and I’m sure Heat fans hated it all the more for looking like total luck, but anyway it went in and that’s just how it goes:...
The End Is Nigh
The good news: A supremely gifted superstar center who has missed every minute of what has already been a pretty fun NBA season is nearly ready to return to action. The bad news: The happy and light-filled days when we are able to pretend that teams other than the Golden State Warriors have a realis...
Jameis Winston-Liker Bruce Arians Will Un-Retire To Coach The Buccaneers
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have landed Bruce Arians as their next head coach, to replace the recently fired Dirk Koetter. The coaching carousel is spinning away: Arians will reportedly bring the recently fired Todd Bowles to Tampa as his defensive coordinator, while Koetter is returning to the Falcons...
Clemson Tigers Roll Tide Up In An Area Rug And Dump Them In A River
Well, that was an ass-whupping. Clemson scored first and kept scoring, and Alabama shot their own butts off, and when it was over—roughly three minutes into the fourth quarter—the Tigers had secured a 44–16 victory over Alabama and definitively replaced them as college football’s preeminent powerhou...
Alabama Doinks Kicks Because Nick Saban Is A Weirdo
Alabama opened the second half of tonight’s national championship game down 15 points to Clemson. It should’ve been 14 points, but kicker Joseph Bulovas missed the extra point after Alabama’s second touchdown, and Clemson has had the lead ever since....
Humiliating Faceplant Is Just The Beginning Of Jamal Murray's Sudden Basketball Death
The indignity doesn’t end with Jamal Murray getting dropped like a sack of dirt by a James Harden behind-the-back dribble. Oh no. It gets worse from there:...
Tua Tagovailoa Throws Two Touchdowns To Two Teams In First Three Minutes Of National Championship Game
Tonight’s national championship game got off to a hot start—or, anyway, it got off to a hot start after Clemson ran through a jittery three-and-out on the game’s opening possession. Following Clemson’s punt, two quick rhythm completions had Alabama in business near midfield, but Tua Tagovailoa teleg...
James Harden Is The Most Valuable Damn Player
There are perfectly good reasons to root against both the Golden State Warriors and the Houston Rockets. The Warriors have Kevin Durant and Draymond Green and are a juggernaut; the Rockets have James Harden and Chris Paul and play maybe the least interesting brand of basketball of any worth-a-shit N...
Warriors Get Go-Ahead Overtime Bucket After Just An Incredible Blown Call
The Rockets and Warriors were tied at 132 with less than a minute left in overtime Thursday night when Kevin Durant lost control of the ball in the paint and chased it into the corner. Here’s what happened:...
Referee Karl Hess Came Within Moments Of Catching A Swirly From A Large And Pissed-Off Head Coach
Scene-munching referee Karl Hess worked a Samford-East Tennessee State overtime game Thursday night, eventually won by ETSU, 81–72. Hess, you may recall, was shitcanned by the ACC in January 2015 after an ugly taunt of a former Wake Forest board of trustees chairman broke the camel’s back, but he’s...
DeMar DeRozan Kicked The Raptors' Asses In A Sweet Revenge Game
Well that was decisive. The home crowd was bloodthirsty, the Spurs were aggressive as hell, and the Raptors were evidently not ready for all the intensity. Kawhi’s ballyhooed return to San Antonio was mostly a big old dud, and the Raptors were routed, by the score of 125–107....
“The only players in Basketball-Reference.com’s database with a usage rate that high and a true shooting percentage this low are Michael Jordan in his first season with the Wizards and Kobe Bryant in his farewell tour with the Lakers.” Dan Devine of The Ringer takes a look at Russell Westbrook’s put...