miserableshitehawk Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Spurs And Their Fans Are Out For Blood
Spurs fans wasted no time ending the mystery of how Kawhi Leonard would be received in San Antonio in his first post-trade visit, booing the shit out of him every time he touched the ball during pregame warmups. The Spurs were reportedly on the fence about showing a Kawhi tribute video tonight, conc...
The Spiraling Memphis Grizzlies Are Now Punching Each Other
The Grizzlies lost to the Detroit Pistons Wednesday night, 101–94. It was an ugly, frustrating performance for a Memphis team that has now lost 10 of their last 13 games after a promising 15–9 start to the season. The angst and frustration appears to have boiled over in a team meeting held after the...
The Giants Are Maybe Ready To Maybe Maybe Maybe Move On From Eli Manning
Giants general manager and ornery math-hater Dave Gettleman did his year-end press conference on Wednesday. Predictably, the questions tended to angle for information about the team’s quarterback situation, where Eli Manning has become a tomato can while somehow also putting up one of the more conve...
Former NFL Scout Issues Truly Hamburger-Brained Antonio Brown Take
Since the Steelers drafted Antonio Brown before the 2010 season, he’s averaged 93 receptions, 1,245 receiving yards, and more than eight touchdowns a season. He’s led the league in receptions twice; he’s led the league in yards twice; he’s made the Pro Bowl seven times; he’s been a first-team All-Pr...
Dallas Stars CEO Takes A Heaping Dump On His Team's Most Prominent Players
The Dallas Stars are currently eighth in the NHL’s Western Conference, and are narrowly holding onto the second Wild Card spot. But they’re just 4–8 over their last 12 games, and stars Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are ranked 57th and 67th in the league in scoring, respectively. Apparently, disappoint...
How Stupid And Toothless Does The NBA Now Look Trying To Manage This Shit
The escalating non-story of LeBron James making moves on Anthony Davis finally ensnared the NBA league office on Friday, with league counsel reportedly reminding teams via a carefully worded memo that only great big meanies would ever honestly answer a question about whether it is good to have good ...
Steelers Coordinator Says His Defense Will Have "A Problem" Covering A Guy Who's Been On Injured Reserve For Three Months
The Steelers are in a tough spot. Their late-season swoon has put them in the unfortunate position of needing a win from the dreaded Browns in order to have a chance at claiming the AFC North and advancing to the playoffs, when it has been literal decades since anyone has been able to rely on the Br...
The Warriors Had Themselves Another Very Normal One
The Warriors lost their second consecutive home game Thursday night, in a thrilling 110–109 overtime affair against the Portland Trail Blazers. Eventually none of this will matter, when the Warriors win the title and we all reflect on this time as a goofy period of intensely embarrassing overreactio...
Referee Meltdown In Celtics-Rockets Surprisingly Has Nothing To Do With James Harden's Footwork
The Rockets ran away from the Celtics Thursday night, in a game that was marred in both halves by some especially spotty and sensitive refereeing by the officiating crew. The officials handed out six technical fouls—three against each team—and at least a couple of them appeared to be the result of r...
A Transformer Exploded In New York And The Videos Rule Extremely Hard
I am told this spectacular light show over New York City tonight was caused by a transformer explosion at a power station in Queens, and not by a massive meteor burning up in the atmosphere, nor by slimy space aliens parking their city-sized mothership over the city and preparing the invasion. One t...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
This Is Almost Certainly The Worst Double-Pass Play You Will Ever See
Wednesday night’s excruciating bowl game between Cal and TCU featured 17 total points and nine combined interceptions, and needed an overtime field goal for the nominal winner to slink out of there with somehow even less dignity than their vanquished foe. Of those nine interceptions, believe it or n...
Just Five Blissful Minutes Of Jon Gruden Stomping Around Shouting At People
Jon Gruden was mic’d up during Oakland’s Week 16 beatdown of the Denver Broncos, and Wednesday the NFL published a little five-minute cut of his choicest moments, and I am here to tell you it is extremely compelling stuff. I would watch a weekly television show of nothing but clips of Gruden screami...
Marcus Thompson of The Athletic zooms right past the central conflicts of the Durant-era Warriors—a looming salary crunch and a style of play that involves less ball and player movement than their coach and non-Durant stars would prefer—to arrive at a vague, Draymond Green-centered and Jimmy Iovine-...
Hassan Whiteside Has A Case Of Free Throw Yips
Hassan Whiteside did some cool things Wednesday night, in Miami’s narrow loss to the Toronto Raptors. He finished with 16 points, 12 rebounds, and three blocks in 31 minutes, and was a game-high plus-22. In the first quarter, with the Heat up nine and feeling frisky, Whiteside brought the ball up th...
UFC Welterweight Alex Oliveira Blown Up By Grenade On Christmas Eve, Is Fine
UFC welterweight Alex Oliveira went home to Tres Rios, south of Rio de Janeiro, to spend Christmas with family. There he was involved in a Christmas Eve altercation at a gas station, involving machetes and guns and an exploding grenade that lodged a handful of shrapnel in his lower leg, requiring su...
Mark Cuban Shares Just The Most Exhausting Take On American Basketball
Luka Dončić is very good. He is also cool, the kind of player you look forward to rooting for and enjoying for years to come. It would be a shame if something were to happen that suddenly forced you to start rooting for Zion Williamson to make it his first order of business next season to dunk Donči...
ESPN Got NBA General Managers To Fill Their Diapers Over LeBron James Answering A Question
So I guess ESPN got what they wanted. Days after LeBron James said “duh” when asked if it would be cool to have one of the best players in the world on his team, rival general managers are reportedly losing bowel control over the terrifying implications of a player acknowledging aloud what is plainl...
Zion Williamson Laughs And Hides His Face After Being Asked About Maybe Someday Joining The Knicks
The insanely overpowered Duke Blue Devils gave Texas Tech their first loss of the season Thursday night, at Madison Square Garden, in a refreshingly competitive 69–58 game. Among other things, this was humanoid megafauna Zion Williamson’s first career game at the home of the Knicks, and so of course...
Oh Wait, Never Mind, The Rockets Are Dead Again
The resurgent Rockets lost by two points in Miami Thursday night, but here’s what you need to know: they were up eight points in the second quarter when Chris Paul suffered another hamstring injury and had to leave the game. After the loss—which, to be fair, came on the second night of a back-to-ba...