miserableshitehawk Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
Shaq's Large Teenage Son Will Miss Freshman Year At UCLA Due To Heart Surgery
Well, here’s some rotten news: Shareef O’Neal, the hooping son of Shaquille O’Neal, will be forced to medical redshirt his freshman season at UCLA after doctors reportedly discovered a heart ailment during an otherwise routine checkup....
Report: Washington Cheerleading Program Undergoing "Family Friendly" Changes In Wake Of Escort Scandal
The fallout from the revelation that the Washington NFL team deployed its cheerleaders as escorts for sponsors and suite holders on a trip to Costa Rica in 2013, among other abuses, has finally produced some small progress in the way the team treats its cheerleaders. Thursday the team announced a nu...
Badass Vikings Long Snapper Returns To Play After Losing Tip Of Pinky Finger Mid-Game
It will probably not become part of NFL lore the way Ronnie Lott’s finger amputation did, but it’s certainly very, very gross: Vikings long snapper Kevin McDermott “lost the tip of his pinky” during Minnesota’s loss Thursday night to the all-powerful Rams, but somehow continued playing:...
Adam Thielen Blows Up Over Medical Timeout, Passes Concussion Protocol, Scores Touchdown
Adam Thielen got pretty well smashed on an incomplete pass from Kirk Cousins in the third quarter of Thursday night’s Vikings-Rams game. Thielen had the ball, but Cory Littleton’s forearm and then Cory Littleton’s knee crashed into Thielen’s head and jarred the ball loose, and Thielen seemed like he...
Amazon's Thursday Night Football Language Options: English, Spanish, Women
It was announced this week that Hannah Storm and Andrea Kremer would become the first duo of women to call an NFL game during tonight’s Thursday Night Football game between the Vikings and the Rams. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman would work the television broadcast, and Storm and Kremer would work the Ama...
I Too Am All Fucked Up By These Dang Card Tricks
The Sacramento Kings invited magician Anna DeGuzman to media day this week to destroy the minds of various unsuspecting players. Friends, the tricks are good....
Tristan Thompson, Apparently Forgetting Everything That Happened This Summer, Talks Shit About East Contenders
LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers this summer. You may have heard. He is now a member of the Los Angeles Lakers. His minutes on the Cavaliers will be used by some combination of Cedi Osman, Rodney Hood, and I guess David Nwaba. Here is video evidence that Tristan Thompson somehow managed to ...
Zhaire Smith's Rookie Season Is Already A Total Bummer
The 76ers provided an unexpected and troubling update on the condition of rookie Zhaire Smith Thursday afternoon. Smith apparently had a bad allergic reaction to food and required something called a thoracoscopy. Recovery from the procedure, presumably along with whatever required it in the first pl...
Improbable Series Of Fuck-Ups Clinches Playoff Berths For Brewers And Cubs
The Brewers beat the Cardinals Wednesday night in a tense 2–1 game. The result clinched at least a spot in the NL Wild Card game for the Brewers and for the Cubs, who sit at 92 wins apiece in the closest divisional race left in baseball. And there is one Cardinals rookie who is going to feel like ab...
Fiancée Of White Sox Pitcher Jace Fry Appears To Nuke Their Engagement Via Instagram
White Sox pitcher Jace Fry got his first career start Wednesday, against the Indians. It wasn’t a real start—the White Sox tabbed this one as a bullpen game, and Fry only pitched one inning—but, hey, a career first! Meanwhile, while he and his teammates were out there getting pounded by the Indians,...
Report: Nike Made Sure Believing In Something Wouldn’t Mean Sacrificing Everything<em></em>
If you are someone who wants to pump your fist about Nike’s big endorsement deal with Colin Kaepernick, try this on: It is probably an encouraging sign of the times that Kaepernick’s demonstrations against police brutality and systemic racism have not made him toxic for marketing and public relation...
If This Really Was Bryce Harper's Last Home Game As A National, VICTOR ROBLES VICTOR ROBLES
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who get misty while reading about Bryce Harper walking around in his uniform more than three hours before what could be his last home game as a National, and those who have no time for sentimentality because they’re too busy drooling over what Victor...
James Harrison Has An Unconventional Solution For Le'Veon Bell: Fake Injuries
James Harrison, the Steelers all-time sack leader, went on Second Take Tuesday, to talk football and the ongoing Le’Veon Bell situation with Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe. Harrison was reliably anti-authority and pro-players looking out for their money during his playing days, and here he was firm...
Max Scherzer Just Keeps Making History
Max Scherzer struck out 10 Marlins over seven innings of one-run ball Tuesday night to earn his 18th win of the season. The 10 strikeouts brought Scherzer to an even 300 on the season, the highest season total of Scherzer’s prolific career and just the 36th 300-strikeout season in the majors since 1...
Report: UFC Welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan Allegedly Raped Two Women While Working As A Bouncer
UFC welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan was indicted Monday in Tarrant County, Texas, for charges related to the alleged rape of two women in one night in March 2018. Alhassan was reportedly arrested in April following a Saginaw Police Department investigation, and was out on $20,000 bail bond when he...
Jake Faria Averts Disaster With Miraculous Catch Of 109-MPH Aaron Judge Comebacker
Comebackers are some of the scariest events in sports. A comebacker fractured Juan Nicasio’s skull and broke his neck in 2011; a comebacker broke Mike Mussina’s nose in 1998 and for a while poisoned him with the fear that every pitch was going to come rocketing back at his face; last season a Joe Ma...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Report: Vikings Lineman Everson Griffen Threatened To Shoot Someone At Minneapolis Hotel
Everson Griffen missed Sunday’s surprising 27–6 home loss to the Buffalo Bills due to “a personal matter,” according to Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer. According to a report from ABC 5 Eyewitness News, the personal matter was a strange episode at the team’s Minneapolis team hotel Saturday that invol...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...