miserableshitehawk Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All Is Not Well In Minnesota
Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...
Report: Clippers Hire <i>SI</i>'s Lee Jenkins To Ambiguous-Sounding Basketball Operations Post
The Los Angeles Clippers are hiring senior Sports Illustrated fawning-profile-writer Lee Jenkins for ... some sort of front office basketball operations position?...
Kolten Wong, A Good Big Brother, Says The Rays Are "A Bad Organization" For Overlooking His Younger Brother
Kean Wong is a 23-year-old utility fielder in the Rays organization. He’s spent this summer playing in Triple-A Durham, where he’s batting .282 with a .750 OPS. Tuesday he and his Durham pals will play the Cardinals’ Triple-A affiliate in the Triple-A Championship Game. While this will be terribly e...
Whoa, The Browns Are Cutting Josh Gordon
The last update about Browns receiver Josh Gordon was that he’d be out for Sunday with a hamstring injury. He had just one catch, a 17-yard touchdown, in Cleveland’s Week 1 tie with the Steelers, but Browns head coach Hue Jackson sounded optimistic about Gordon’s future on the team as recently as We...
Deadspin Up All Night: Tainted Love
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Be well....
North Texas Genius Dupes Arkansas With Perfect Fake-Fair-Catch Punt Return
This happened in the first quarter in today’s North Texas-Arkansas game. Arkansas punter Blake Johnson launched a low and knuckling punt to the North Texas 10 yard line, where it was fielded cleanly by Keegan Brewer, whose body language following the catch was that of a man who had no intention of a...
Yasiel Puig Is Battering The Bejeezus Out Of The Vile Cardinals
Yasiel Puig smashed three huge dingers Saturday afternoon. The mightiest of these was a 423-foot solo blast in the fourth inning, but the most impressive might’ve been the three-run shot to left in the fifth that left the yard on a line at an impressive 114 miles per hour. Here are the dingers:...
Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon
The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...
Floyd Mayweather And Manny Pacquiao Will Stage History's Least Wanted Rematch
Who knows what to make of this. Floyd Mayweather said on Instagram Saturday that he will come back from retirement this year for a rematch of the insanely boring 2015 “mega-fight” with Manny Pacquiao....
Alexander Ovechkin Gains Vitality From Booze
The Capitals are mostly pretty chill about the perception that they perhaps partied too hard after winning the Stanley Cup, and the fact that their boozy celebrations inspired new rules about the way champions are allowed to handle the Cup. Anyway, that’s the gist of an ESPN report that depicts the ...
Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...
This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again
Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...
Fan Struck In Forehead By Flying Bat At Red Sox Game, Stretchered Off
It wasn’t all cool-headed ushers snagging foul liners at Fenway Wednesday night. Blue Jays second baseman Devon Travis lost his grip on his bat on a swing on a Steven Wright knuckler in the eighth inning, and the bat cleared the safety netting and sailed into the stands, where it struck the forehead...
Fenway Park Usher Earns A Few Moments Of Showboating With Slick Bare-Handed Catch
In the top of the second inning of Wednesday night’s Blue Jays-Red Sox game, Yangervis Solarte fouled a first-pitch fastball back into the stands behind the first base line, where it was snagged by a remarkably badass Fenway usher:...
Willians Astudillo Is A True Sports Hero
Willians Astudillo is a big fellow. Round. Built like a very short nose tackle. And he is a catcher, the most grueling position in baseball. As much as any baseball player naturally wants to score a run, it would not surprise me to learn that any catcher standing on first base is not exactly hoping ...
Sean McVay Is Doing The Spooky Brain Thing Again
They say that humans only use 10 percent of our brains. They go on to say that the claim that humans only use 10 percent of our brains—in addition to being a major plot point of the delightful Albert Brooks movie Defending Your Life—is a myth. Truly they cannot be trusted on this matter, but this mu...
Antonio Brown Apologizes For Threatening To Slug ESPN Writer Over Unflattering Profile
Last week Jesse Washington of The Undefeated published a story about Antonio Brown of the Steelers. It’s at once an especially 2018 kind of profile—the word “Instagram” appears 24 times, there are another three “’Grams,” and a further seven embedded Instagram posts—and a weirdly dissonant, pearl-cl...
Report: Florida High School Football Coach Accused Of Head-Butting And Blowing Snot-Rockets On Players, Telling One To Kill Himself
This is a crazy story, first reported by the Palatka Daily News, in Florida: Randell Gene Owens, a former assistant football coach and physical education teacher at Palatka High School in Putnam County, is accused of, shit, just a whole wild catalogue of alarming abuses directed at his players....
Matt Miazga Adds Insult To Injury By Mocking Diego Lainez's Height In USMNT Victory
The USMNT beat Mexico in an international friendly Tuesday night, 1–0, on a second-half goal from teenager Tyler Adams. You want to see the goal. Fine. Here is the goal, you demanding jerk:...