miserableshitehawk Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Thibodeau Continues Collecting The Ghosts Of The 2012 Chicago Bulls

Luol Deng reportedly agreed this week to join the Minnesota Timberwolves, where he will be reunited with head coach Tom Thibodeau, who coached him for three plus seasons when both were in the Chicago Bulls organization. He will join Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, and Taj Gibson in Minnesota, reuniting ...

The Skins Are About To Officially Lose Another Bullcrap Attendance Streak

The news in this Washington Post report is less that the Skins will fail to sell out their home opener against the Colts Sunday—their streak of sellouts has been illegitimate garbage for literally years—and more that the Skins have reached such a state of desperation that they’re finally revealing, ...

Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]

A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS

Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

The NFL Admits Refs Blew It On Myles Garrett's Bogus Roughing The Passer Call

Myles Garrett was hit with a dubious roughing the passer call Sunday afternoon, for the crime of allowing his momentum to carry him onto Ben Roethlisberger after a hit. The flag, which came on a third-down incompletion, kept Pittsburgh’s drive alive, and exactly one play later the Steelers found the...

Blue Jays' Randal Grichuk Busted Up In Collision With Security Guard's Stool

In the fourth inning of Sunday’s Indians-Blue Jays tilt, right fielder Randal Grichuk charged in on a foul pop off the bat of Brandon Guyer. Grichuk is watching the ball the whole way in, and never sees the on-field security guard backing away from the on-rushing Justin Smoak:...

Fresh Out Of More Obscure Maladies, Fate Sends A Baseball Into Noah Syndergaard's Ribs

In a turn of events that is both scarier and less troubling than his recent battle with hand, foot, and mouth disease, Noah Syndergaard was nailed in the ribs by a screaming comebacker Saturday night against the Phillies, and had to leave the game....

Serena Williams Hit With $17,000 Fine For Her Part Of U.S. Open Final Shit-Show

The second set of Saturday’s women’s U.S. Open final was a total debacle, featuring a suspect code violation for coaching, and then an even more suspect game penalty for “verbal abuse,” triggering an insane and exhausting sequence where Serena Williams called down a tournament referee and brought th...

Team No Trade Gronk. No Trade! Make Gronk Sad.

Rob Gronkowski’s offseason of uncertainty ended with the lovable galoot coming back to the Patriots on a reworked, healthier contract, for at least one more run at a championship with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Part of Gronk’s existential mulling seems to have come from disillusionment with the P...

Why Not

Deadspin Up All Night: You May Be King

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Rock on....

Le'Veon Bell's Holdout Is Now Getting Expensive

If it appeared to some of his teammates a few weeks ago like Le’Veon Bell’s holdout would only last as long as the preseason, and all the Steelers would have to do was wait for him to blink, instead of paying him what he deserves as the engine and workhorse of his team’s offense and one of the best ...

“In a situation like that, where both teams have to agree to the same thing—we’re kind of at different points in the season, so there were slightly different modes of thinking at the time.” Chelsea Janes of the Washington Post has a cool look at what goes on behind the scenes to manage a September r...

South Florida Freshman Scores On Consecutive 98-Yard Kickoff Returns

Probably you are going to want to remember the name Terrence Horne. The 5-foot-7 receiver, a true freshman at South Florida, is both incredibly shifty and incredibly fast, and that makes him an absolute terror on kickoff returns. In the first quarter of today’s game against Georgia Tech, Horne retu...

Corny-Ass Kirk Cousins Wants To Trademark The Phrase "YOU VIKE THAT!"

Kirk Cousins—stacker of symbolic rocks, possible griller of literal rocks, extremely well-paid quarterback—recently filed a trademark application for the phrase “YOU VIKE THAT!”...

Report: Former Cowboys Running Back Joseph Randle Arrested On Suspicion Of Rape

Former Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested early Friday in Wichita, Kansas on suspicion of rape, according to a report from The Wichita Eagle:...

Police Say Celtics' Jabari Bird Assaulted, Choked, And Kidnapped Someone In "Domestic Incident"

Celtics guard Jabari Bird was arrested in Boston Friday night following a “domestic incident” in which he is accused of assaulting, choking, and kidnapping an unnamed victim....

When The Nellie Kush Hits

Steve Nash brought 78-year-old Don Nelson on stage with him Friday night during his Hall of Fame induction speech, and, friends, Nellie looks FUCKING AWESOME now:...

Shohei Ohtani Finally Smashed A Dinger Off A Lefty

Mike Scioscia has mostly protected Shohei Ohtani from lefty pitchers during his rookie season. Partly this is because the lefty-lefty matchup is often brutal for hitters; partly it’s because Albert Pujols is still kicking around, and is capable of taking those DH plate appearances and doing some dam...

Toilet President Goes Easy On Nike For Endorsing Colin Kaepernick: "They Pay A Lot Of Rent"

Hey, remember when the oven-baked ham in chief called NFL players who protest institutional racism and police brutality during pregame national anthem ceremonies sons of bitches, and said they should be fired? Remember how he’s humped that issue relentlessly, using it to lather up the worst dregs of...