miserableshitehawk Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle
White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:...
Deadspin Up All Night: See Yourself
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Eat a hot dog or something....
The Good-For-Nothing Nationals Came Within One Lousy Run Of The Rare All-69 Trifecta
The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:...
Now Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Calling Out The NFL Over Colin Kaepernick
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the former president of Iran and a man of many sports takes, has now come to the defense of Colin Kaepernick, the out-of-work quarterback....
CORRECTED: Big Ten Network Suspends Braylon Edwards Indefinitely For Criticizing Michigan On Twitter
CORRECTION (7:51 p.m.): Though the announcement of Edwards’s suspension was made after Harbaugh’s press conference, Pat Kenny of Big Ten Network tells Deadspin that Edwards was informed of his suspension Sunday, before Harbaugh made his comments, and that “Coach Harbaugh’s comments had no bearing on...
So I Guess We're Blaming The Buffalo Bills For Acts Of Domestic Terrorism?
The premise of this breathtakingly insane Politico article really is—swear to God—that Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City because the Buffalo Bills couldn’t win a Super Bowl. The author attempts to say otherwise, but he also says this:...
Fancy Dog Tom Brady Is A Bad Dog!
Longtime Vikings trainer Fred Zamberletti died Sunday morning, at the age of 86. Zamberletti served in some capacity within the Vikings organization from 1961 to this year, holding down the job of senior consultant and team historian since 2002. Randy Moss, who started his Hall of Fame career with t...
The Nathan Peterman Experiment Continues!
The Bills cleared out Tyrod Taylor this offseason, and passed along AJ McCarron to the Raiders after a less than stellar preseason. Why carry all these ho-hum quarterbacks around when the team has already identified their franchise quarterback, the golden-armed stud they selected with the seventh ov...
Just Like That, The Dodgers Are In Control
Well that happened fast. Just a week ago the Dodgers were in third place in the NL West, 4.5 games back of the Diamondbacks, and enduring all kinds of misery having to do with their season-long disappointment in close games. And here they are, on the first Monday of September, alone with the divisio...
Brilliant Italian Soccer Man Scores Just The Coolest Goddamn Goal
Serie A side Sampdoria kicked the dicks off their Napoli counterparts Sunday afternoon. They were already up 2–0 in the 75th minute when a free kick smashed off the Napoli line and eventually pinged over Bartosz Bereszyński, who sent a hard and low cross toward teammate Fabio Quagliarella. Have a lo...
Nick Saban Apologizes To ESPN Reporter Maria Taylor For Chewing Her Out Over Harmless Quarterback Question
ESPN sideline reporter Maria Taylor asked Alabama head coach and general grump Nick Saban to assess his quarterbacks’ performance after Alabama’s 51-14 blowout of Louisville Saturday night. It was a perfectly reasonable question, and Saban responded like she’d asked him to choose which of his childr...
Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury
Elena Delle Donne is listed as a starter for the Washington Mystics in their do-or-die Game 4 semifinal matchup against the Atlanta Dream Sunday afternoon. I am sure you will join me in saying please don’t make me watch the video of her knee bending backwards like al dente linguine again....
FBI's NCAA Investigation Bags Sleazy Financial Adviser For Bribing Assistant Coaches For Access To Players' Future Wealth
Not everything dredged up in the big FBI investigation of recruiting violations in college basketball is worth the attention of federal law enforcement. An apparel company funneling actual money to elite players so they’ll play for elite basketball programs, for example, is a function of a blackmark...
Joe West Gums Up Phillies' Strategy With Textualist Reading Of Foreign Substance Rule
A strange thing happened in the eighth inning of Saturday night’s Cubs-Phillies game. Veteran umpire Joe West, working third base, noticed Phillies reliever Austin Davis pull a notecard out of his back pocket before pitching to Addison Russell, and decided he needed to know more, and brought the gam...
Padres Beach Hat Giveaway Comes With Free Gross Bugs
The lowly San Diego Padres gave fans attending Saturday night’s game against the Rockies complimentary beach hats. Nice! The problem? Some of the packaging of the hats was discovered to contain an infestation of disgusting bugs:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
Possibly T.J. Vasher Is Inspector Gadget
Ole Miss beat up Texas Tech Saturday afternoon, eventually winning 47–27 behind 336 yards passing and a pair of touchdowns by senior quarterback Jordan Ta’amu. Having gotten that out of the way, let us gawk, slack-jawed, at this spectacular catch from Texas Tech sophomore receiver T.J. Vasher:...
Tottenham's Son Heung-Min Avoids Compulsory Military Service With South Korean Gold Medal At Asian Games
Here’s some happy news, especially for Tottenham fans and, uhh, the friends and family of members of South Korea’s national soccer team: Forward Son Heung-min, facing two years of compulsory service in the South Korean military, has earned an exemption via the only route available—a gold medal in th...
The Lakers Will Free Themselves From The Curse Of Luol Deng
The Los Angeles Lakers will reportedly buy out the remaining two years of the contract of Luol Deng, bringing to a close one of the great mistakes of the insane summer of 2016....