miserableshitehawk Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wisconsin Receiver Quintez Cephus Charged With Sexually Assaulting Two Women<em></em>
Wisconsin junior receiver Quintez Cephus has been charged with second- and third-degree sexual assault after two women said he raped them in his apartment on the same night in April, while they were both intoxicated to the point of incapacitation, per a Wisconsin State Journal report....
Deadspin Up All Night: Drive
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Things aren’t so great!...
Stick All The Forks In These Losers
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...
Report: Larry Nassar Is Being Shuffled Between Federal Prisons Following Reports Of Inmate Assault
The Detroit News reported in May that disgraced former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar was assaulted by fellow inmates at the United States Penitentiary, Tucson, “within hours of being released into the general population,” according to his attorney. Now it appears that Nassar ...
Another Joint Practice, Another Huge Brawl
Folks, we’ve got another joint practice brawl, this time between the Colts and Ravens, at Colts training camp Saturday afternoon. The brawl appears to have started after Colts linebacker Antonio Morrison leveled Albert McClellan in a special teams drill, and McClellan jumped up ready to make war:...
Leonys Martín To Be Released From Hospital Following Life-Threatening Bacterial Infection
Indians outfielder Leonys Martín will be sent home Sunday, after spending more than a week in the Cleveland Clinic battling a life-threatening bacterial infection that compromised the function of several internal organs....
“We don’t see heatstroke in football games, ever. We don’t see exertional sickling in football games, ever. But we see them in the offseason. If we’re seeing it in our training and not seeing it in the sport, something is wrong with our training.” Patrick Hruby explores “Junction Boys syndrome” in c...
Get A Load Of This Hot-Doggin' Strike-Throwin' Baseball Nun
The Chicago White Sox invited Sister Mary Jo Sobieck of Marian Catholic High School to throw out the ceremonial first pitch for Saturday’s game against the Royals. She did some early hot-dogging with the slick little elbow trick you see above, but that was really just a preview. Her first pitch, thr...
Hard Luck Dodgers Beat Themselves With Walk-Off Balk
So how do the Dodgers—the team with the best run differential in the National League, and the third lowest total of runs allowed in baseball—find themselves in third place in the NL West, and fifth in the NL Wild Card? Well, for starters, by performing pretty poorly in one-run games, where they’ve a...
Deadspin Up All Night: Bola De Meia
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Don Mattingly Will Protect The Cowardly Jose Ureña From Comeuppance
Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña was suspended six games by Major League Baseball for his bush-league plunking of Ronald Acuña Jr., to break up Acuña’s three-game streak of leadoff dingers. As should be expected whenever a player is suspended, Ureña has appealed the punishment, which means he is eligible ...
Tom Chambers Charged With Assault For Roughing Up Belligerent Jerk
Former NBA star Tom Chambers was charged with two counts of assault this week in Arizona, related to an April incident in Scottsdale where he roughed up a shitbag youth who allegedly said some very rude things to him while he was dining out....
Taekwondo Coach Reinstated By SafeSport Following Brief Ban Over "Decades Long Pattern Of Sexual Misconduct"
Jean Lopez—the former U.S. taekwondo coach who was banned in April 2018 following a report from SafeSport that described “a decades long pattern of sexual misconduct by an older athlete/coach abusing his power to groom, manipulate and, ultimately, sexually abuse younger female athletes”—will be rein...
MLB Network Falls For Joke Report That Trevor Bauer Is Treating Himself For "CIA Nanites"
It’s possible to believe a lot of whacky stories about Trevor Bauer, who is both a big old dummy and also a too-online crank who once wanted to use a soldering iron to cauterize a finger wound. A report that Bauer wants to use alternative methods to treat the stress fracture in his right fibula woul...
Josh Gordon Returns From Unexplained Leave Of Absence
Josh Gordon’s unexplained leave of absence from the start of Browns training camp—something Gordon described as “part of my overall health and treatment plan” when it was announced back in July—is now apparently over. Gordon announced Saturday that he’s rejoining the team:...
Dramatic Dinger-Robbing Catch Denied By Beer
Diamondbacks outfielder Jon Jay had a rough, frustrating time Friday night. Twice he reached up at the outfield wall to make a play on a shallow dinger, and both times Padres fans beat him to the ball. All Jay came down with, in the end, were a few droplets of spilled beer, and disappointment....
It Is Truly Sickening That The Blue Devils Also Have R.J. Barrett
Duke’s multi-stage devastation of Canadian basketball continued Friday, in Toronto, with the vile Blue Devils pounding the bejeezus out of the poor Varsity Blues of the University of Toronto. Zion Williamson thrashed the feeble, excessively polite fellows of Ryerson Wednesday night, and although he ...
Man Bites It
So this happened tonight, on FOX Sports South. Watch it endlessly, for it will never stop being hilarious....
Judge Dismisses Rick Pitino's Emotional Distress Lawsuit Against Adidas
Rick Pitino’s emotional distress lawsuit against Adidas—truly a bold “vehicle for proving that he had nothing to do with Adidas’ outrageous, wrongful, and illegal conspiracy” to put good basketball players onto his basketball team—was dismissed Tuesday by the U.S. District Court judge for the Wester...
Ben Zobrist Is Still Very Much Looking Forward To Robot Umpires
Ben Zobrist was ejected in the ninth inning of the Cubs’ 7–0 home loss to the Brewers Tuesday, for arguing (what else) balls and strikes with home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi. The beef went back a few innings, to when Zobrist took a called third strike in the sixth, and reacted angrily. Zobrist survived...