miserableshitehawk Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Braves Pitcher Sean Newcomb Loses No-Hitter With Two Outs And Two Strikes In Ninth Inning
Oh, this was brutal. Braves second-year lefty Sean Newcomb—who’d never pitched a complete game, and who’d never pitched more than seven innings in a start, and who’d never thrown more than 111 pitches—gave up his first hit Sunday afternoon on a 2-2 single with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inn...
Jackie Bradley Jr., What
It will mean absolutely nothing for you to learn that Jackie Bradley made another insane catch on Sunday to rob an extra-base hit, but this one is really something else. At no point prior to the moment when it landed in his glove did this ball look remotely catchable:...
Andrew Luck Survived Throwing A Football, Quick Everyone Knock On Wood
The thrilling news out of Colts training camp this weekend was that quarterback Andrew Luck, whose throwing shoulder has been crabmeat for several hundred years now, completed three (3) days of practice without his arm falling off:...
Jacob DeGrom Is The Very Human Embodiment Of Futility
There’s a point in every typical Mets season when their astonishingly dependable ineptitude tips over from being a source of amusement to being a source of genuinely unpleasant secondhand embarrassment. Probably for Mets fans that moment reliably passes before the first day of summer; for the rest o...
Pete Rose Says Baseball Sucks Now
Truly it is a sad day when Pete Rose bitching semi-coherently about juiced baseballs and lost fundamentals represents a pivot towards sanity in the discourse of ornery former ballplayers. Alas....
Braves Announcers Throw Exquisitely Awkward Tantrum Over Dodgers Batting Practice Attire
Braves announcers and crusty old fuddy-duddies Joe Simpson and Chip Caray threw the saddest little mid-game tantrum Saturday night, during a Braves loss to the Dodgers. Braves hitters combined for three total hits and eight strikeouts on the night, and Braves starter Max Fried took the loss despite ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Suffers Dearly For That MLS Life
Wayne Rooney scored his first MLS goal Saturday night, in his fourth match with DC United. The goal came in the 33rd minute of United’s match at home against Colorado—after the ball sort of chaotically pinged around in the midfield, United triggered a quick attacking move and Rooney finished it off ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Sunset Grill
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Who knows. ...
Craven Columnist: Various Circus Clowns Say Jimmy Garoppolo Should Not Date A Porn Actress
Several great-grandparents were deeply scandalized this month by the revelation that 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo had dinner with porn actress Kiara Mia, despite it being 2018 and there just being nothing lamer than wringing your hands over the social life of a fucking football player....
Whew, Tom Benson's Estate Battle Was Ugly And Sad As Hell
The legal proceedings by which three of late Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson’s closest family members were removed from his businesses and will were ugly, and marked by profane outbursts from an enfeebled Benson, according to a report from the New Orleans Advocate....
Outfielder Carlos Gomez Takes Mound, Pitches Exactly Like Non-Pitcher
The position-player-as-pitcher trend continues piling up numbers at a record pace. Three more position players took the mound Friday night; the total across MLB is now up to 45, by far the most ever for a full season, and it’s still July. One of the recent unfortunate fellows was Rays outfielder Ca...
The Rockets Are Now Equipped To Run It Back
The Rockets have won their contract standoff with restricted free agent center Clint Capela. Four weeks after he balked at Houston’s five-year, $90 million offer at the start of free agency, Capela made the decision to not sign the meager one-year qualifying offer, and inked a long-term deal in Hous...
Wildcats Fan Accused Of Illegally Hacking Restaurant's Cable Package In Order To Watch Arizona Basketball While Dining Out
Towards the upper end of a sliding scale measuring sports fanaticism—past painting your chest with your team’s logo on the day of the big game; in the range of meticulously pre-arranging the particulars of your burial, to serve as a final and eternal tribute to your team—there’s committing felony id...
MLB Tweets, Deletes Dumb, Sweaty, Racist Joke About Ichiro And Shohei Ohtani
Someone on Major League Baseball’s social media crew tweeted and then quickly deleted a joke Friday night comparing an image of Ichiro and Shohei Ohtani greeting each other to a meme showing two cartoon Spider-Men pointing at each other in mutual recognition and surprise:...
Report: Celtics Assistant Coach Jerome Allen Allegedly Bribed By Accused Medicare Fraudster While At Penn
A Miami Beach business executive charged with running a billion-dollar Medicare fraud scheme allegedly bribed then-Quakers head coach and current Celtics assistant Jerome Allen to get his son admitted to the University of Pennsylvania, according to a new indictment reported by the Miami Herald:...
18-Year-Old University Of Maine Freshman Football Player Dies After Collapsing During Preseason Workout
Darius Minor, an 18-year-old freshman defensive back on the University of Maine football team, died Tuesday during a preseason workout, per a report on the university’s website:...
Too Many Position Players Are Pitching Now
41 position players have pitched in a big-league game this season. By my count, 28 different position players have taken the mound since the start of June. This is too many! A good thing is being spoiled, here....
Maybe Dwyane Wade Should Go Play In China?
Here’s a really startling, ominous sentence:...
Daniel Poncedeleon Hurls Seven No-Hit Innings In Big-League Debut
Daniel Poncedeleon made his big-league debut Monday night, 14 months after a comebacker hit him in the temple in a minor-league game and very nearly ended his career. And what a debut it was! Poncedeleon left the game after the seventh inning, having thrown 116 pitches without allowing a single hit....
Jake Bauers Scores From Second On Passed Ball Thanks To Just The Sleepiest Yankees Defensive Effort
Jake Bauers socked a three-run dinger in the fifth inning tonight against the Yankees. That’s cool. It’s cool to sock dingers, especially against the abominable Yankees. But Bauers’s best highlight from Monday night came in the bottom of the first inning, when he scored from second base on a passed ...