mosesloaf Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's A Photo Of A Prominent Public Figure Glad-Handing A Brutal Despot
This image is cause only for despair. Can you believe Robert Mugabe would shake this man's hand? For shame. We've witnessed this kind of debasement before, when Russian crime figures, vile dictators and Michel Platini have lowered themselves to drinks and smirks with Sepp Blatter. On Monday, Blatter...
Watch The Portland Timbers' Darlington Nagbe Charm A Ball Into A Goal
We like to bag on the Timbers over here, if only because it makes Timbers fans choke on their kelp noodles. But nobody will be speaking ill of this goal by rookie Darlington Nagbe, who sets himself up for a volley and a perfect strike. Patchouli!...
Kobayashi Somehow Sets A New, Totally Unofficial Hot Dog Eating Record
With the Empire State Building as a backdrop and a drag queen named Mimi Imfurst cracking jokes about stuffing wieners into Anderson Cooper's mouth, Takeru Kobayashi executed an improbably perfect "up yours" to the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, from which he's been barred over a long-running cont...
The Lonesome Independence Day Of Kobayashi, Eater In Exile
On a May evening, in a cramped biergarten behind a German restaurant off the Bowery in Manhattan, Takeru Kobayashi sat down to a plate of Rheinischer Sauerbraten mit Kartoffelklößen und Rotkraut. First, he produced a small camera and began photographing the sauerbraten for his blog, where he catalog...
One Armand De Brignac Midas Bottle For £120,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of An Enormous Johnson's Epic Bar Tab In London
Atlantic City casino scourge Don Johnson (not to be confused with 80s-era TV scourge Don Johnson) must have seen the damage the Bruins did in the MGM Grand bar in Foxwoods recently. He must have burned with envy. For those of you unaware, Don Johnson has earned the dubious moniker of "The Champagne ...
Watch Cheick Kongo's Absurd Knockout Of Pat Barry
Cheick Kongo has never lived up to the hype that attends a man who appears to have stepped from the pages of a comic book. But Kongo — who looks even more intimidating with that beard — showed some gameness last night after Pat Barry twice knocked him for a loop. Some people are calling this the gre...
Cops: Passenger In Ryan Dunn's Fatal Car Crash Was A Production Assistant On <em>Jackass</em> Sequel
Here's an updated version of the press release West Goshen police sent out yesterday after Jackass star Ryan Dunn crashed his Porsche 911 GT3 early Monday morning in Pennsylvania, killing himself and a passenger. (Click image to enlarge.) The passenger has been identified as 30-year-old Zachary Hart...
136 Bud Lights For Only $680! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Boston Bruins' Epic Bar Tab From Foxwoods
The photo of this receipt is hazy (full version here), and that's how it should be. Mere hours after riding through the streets of Boston in Duck Boats, the Bruins took the Stanley Cup to the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and set to drinking. First came the bottle of Bacardi and 18 sugar free Red Bulls. "Su...
Here's The Police Report For The Fiery Crash That Killed <em>Jackass</em> Star Ryan Dunn
Ryan Dunn appeared in all of the Jackass movies and may best be remembered for sticking a Hot Wheels car up his ass. He died early around 2:30 a.m. on Monday in Pennsylvania in a horrific crash that "fully engulfed" his 2007 Porsche 911 GT3 in flames. Dunn was likely speeding, according to the repor...
Online Sports Publication Grantland Momentarily Confused By Online Publishing
Well, this is embarrassing. Grantland had two heartening Father's Day stories up yesterday. Alas, the fathers could not read them at Grantland.com. The site was down, replaced by a picture of a smiling girl and Prince Harry's neck. From the look of things, the domain name registry had lapsed and had...
Look At This U-18 Canadian Water Polo Player Trying To Blow Up A Vancouver Police Cruiser
There goes your scholarship, boyo. The intelligent young man you see here neglecting to cover his face with his hood but flashing some nifty Nike Dunk Highs(?) has been identified as Nathan Kotylak, who plays the sport of water polo at a very impressive level and looks remarkably at ease lighting a ...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is So Scared Of Manny Pacquiao That He Won't Even Fight Him In Court
Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be the best defensive boxer since Pernell Whitaker, but he has a shit-eating grin, a toy punch, and, at least when it comes to Manny Pacquiao, a yellow streak the width of Route 15. Mayweather has been ducking Pacquiao for years, claiming all the while that the Filipino was ...
The Chris Sheridan-Peter Vecsey Blood Feud Enters Court, Hilariously
Journalism fight! Journalism fight! Let's all throw spicy language and felt-tip pens at one another! Yesterday, ESPN's Chris Sheridan sued the New York Post's Peter Vecsey and his employer for libel in NY State Supreme Court. The bone of contention was a "scandalous diatribe" (to quote the complaint...
A Sneak Peek At The <em>Moneyball</em> Movie
Entertainment Tonight scored a preview of the Moneyball movie about Billy Beane and the A's that nobody thought would ever get made. It's the most teasing of teasers, with Brad Pitt (Billy Beane) slurring his lines, Jonah Hill (a character based on Paul DePodesta, who refused to let his likeness be...
Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...
Lance Armstrong Stepped To Tyler Hamilton Outside A Boys Room In Aspen On Saturday
For a man with one testicle, Lance Armstrong has enormous balls. This past weekend, Armstrong all but challenged his former teammate and current nemesis, Tyler Hamilton, to a duel outside the bathroom of a swank Aspen restaurant. Hamilton was in town to lead bike rides for Outside magazine and dine ...
The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Is A Nexus Of Depravity
Now that USC has vacated its 2004 national championship because Reggie Bush couldn't steer clear of the side money, attention has shifted to the venue where the Trojans have had such success in recent years. As it turns out, the L.A. Coliseum has been run more or less like a garbage removal service ...
Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...
The Mutton Bustin' Season Is Officially Open
It's that time of year again, when small hapless children have their skulls driven deep into the dirt by disdainful mutton. And then we laugh at them (the children). But we're not merely laughing at pain in a public setting. No, we're also celebrating mutton. Look at the disdainful expression on th...
US Soccer's Gold Cup Chances Improve After Five Mexican Players Test Positive For PEDs
Decio de María Serrano, the secretary general of Mexican soccer, announced today that five players on the Mexican national soccer team currently poised to dominate the Gold Cup tested positive for a substance called Clenbuterol, which is the same drug that Alberto Contador tested positive for at las...