mosesloaf Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Tropicana Casino In Atlantic City Is Being Devoured By Sharks
The Tropicana Casino and Resort in Atlantic City was bankrupt in 2009 when billionaire corporate raider Carl Icahn sidled up with $200 million to buy the joint. After New Jersey approved Icahn's bid in 2010, the Tropicana embraced a new strategy: high stakes table games. (You can now bet $50,000 on ...
The New Olympic Torch Is "An Expensive, Designer Cheesegrater"
Behold its elegant fluted shape, the 8,000 fine-bore holes punched in the golden chain mail of its noble aluminum frame — each orifice representing one of the good and decent runners who will course across the UK and Ireland bearing the almighty flame to its final burn site in London. The majesty of...
Learning To Hate Sugar Ray Leonard All Over Again
I never liked Sugar Ray Leonard. By all rights, I should have. He was a spectacular boxer, a rare combination of grace and power, one of the best of all time. He fought bigger men. He fought the class of his generation. What's more, he grew up a shy, comic book-loving kid in the suburbs of my hometo...
Even As A Cub Reporter, Bill Simmons Was Dropping Annoyingly Precious Pop Cultural References
Anyone who pays even passing attention to sports journalism is familiar with Bill Simmons's populist everybrah schtick. No need to dwell on how to write like an over-caffeinated 17-year-old. What's worth noting is that Simmons has always been writing that way. He's stayed true to himself. He was Th...
Sepp Blatter's "Council of Wisdom" May Include...Placido Domingo?
Previously in our Sepp Blatter is a loathsome historical figure series, we likened the Swiss dictator of FIFA to a wicked American president and a murderous Chilean general. But where does one go with the news that Blatter now wants a Spanish opera star to help him clean up corruption in FIFA? This ...
Rampage Jackson Mocking, Humping, And/Or Mistreating Retarded People, Fat People, Gays, Women, Japanese Men, And A Door: A Gallery
Earlier this week, Rampage Jackson, an "alpha male" who also competes as a professional mixed martial artist, stuck his face into the cleavage of a female reporter (who handled the intrusion better than many might have). When another female reporter complained, however,, the MMA community's alpha ...
Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...
Watch This Heroic Linesman Valiantly Try To Keep The Portland Timbers Undefeated At Home
Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the ...
War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."...
It Would Be Soooo ABA If The Miami Heat Logo Looked Like This
Any team with a "theme" name is probably going to have a bad logo. That's just how it works. The Miami Heat is no exception. The team's logo is a flaming basketball dropping into a toilet bowl. Crap, I say. Lucky for us, an overly devoted Miami fan (whom I happen to know) took the trouble to search ...
FIFA's Version Of Democracy Captured In A Single Photo
I'm sure all of you will be clustered around the internet wire today as the exciting results of FIFA's hotly contested presidential race trickle in. Early exit polls reveal that voters are evenly split between Sepp Blatter and Sepp Blatter, but you never know which way the suburbs of Prague will go....
Dan Snyder's Latest Media Blitz Makes Everyone Look Like A Simpering Ass
Dan Snyder doesn't do many interviews. The reason: When Dan Snyder opens his mouth, he embarrasses himself. The Redskins owner appears comfortable only when speaking in sound bites about how his blood runs "burgundy and gold." So it came as a surprise last week when Snyder sat down with the DC aff...
Dan Snyder Subpoenas Washington Post Blogger For Linking To Washington City Paper Story
Oops, we almost forgot to post our daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be linking to until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a Ceti Eel in the ear....
Rampage Jackson Comes Very Close To Motorboating This Reporter
On Saturday, Rampage Jackson decisioned Matt Hamill in the main event of a UFC card that nobody cared about. After the fight, Jackson was his typical charming, wanton self. Here's an interview he did with Karyn Bryant of MMA Heat in which Jackson all but ravages her at the press-conference podium....
A Video Compilation Of Silly Tribute Songs To Man U Striker Chicharito
In advance of the Champions League final tomorrow between Manchester United and Barcelona, here's an amusing video about Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez, the dynamic Mexican striker who's been a vital part of Man U's success this year. Hay salsa. Hay rap. Hay awesomeness at 02:20. Make sure you get ...
We Are All Dave McKenna CXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit runs out of ways to die in this space....
More Bad Madness On The Sepp Blatter Campaign Trail
A week before FIFA's presidential elections, another evil-smelling troll has escaped from the basement of Sepp Blatter's Swiss chalet. The current source of horror: Mohamed bin Hammam, Blatter's rival in the elections, was charged yesterday with offering bribes to members of the Caribbean Football U...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...
Bernard Hopkins Finally Explains His Loathing For Donovan McNabb And How He Can "Look Through A Man's Soul"
You might recall that before he became the oldest boxing champ in history last weekend, Bernard Hopkins had some choice words for Donovan McNabb, who never had much truck with the boxer, aside from neglecting to shake his hand when Hopkins visited the Eagles training center in 2004. Never one to let...
A Photo Of Dirk Nowitzki Astride Mark Cuban, Both Men Enjoying Themselves Immensely
This photo was taken circa 2001 by Sports Illustrated, a year after Mark Cuban bought the Mavericks and began reaching for the brass ring. Those were happy days. Magnolia flowers impregnated the Texas air with sweet perfume. Children gamboled by the Trinity River. And these cowboys loved each other....