mosesloaf Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Tie The Spanish League Goal Scoring Record
After knocking in these two free kicks against Villarreal yesterday, Ronaldo upped his goal tally to 38 on the season, tying the record set by Athletic Bilbao's Telmo Zarra in 1951 and matched in 1990 by Real Madrid's Mexican striker Hugo Sanchez. Ronaldo also opened up a 14-point lead in the Gold...
We Are All Dave McKenna XCVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a torpedo to the ammunition hold....
The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...
55 Grey Goose Cocktails For Only $770! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic Bar Tab From Tryst In Las Vegas
A few caveats: 1.) This booze session took place in Vegas; 2.) It took place at Tryst, which for those of you fortunate enough to never have been intoxicated therein, can inflict permanent damage to the wallet. That said, this is still an impressive receipt, a full version of which you can view here...
We Are All Dave McKenna XCVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill....
Viking Maul Ball On The Orkney Islands
Occasionally, we'll select stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: An examination of "The Ba'," a primal form of mass rugby and a male rite of passage that erupts every Christmas in Kirkwall, a town on the ...
Watch Super Middleweight Arthur Abraham Hit People Terrifyingly Hard
So there's this super middleweight title fight on Saturday between Andre Ward (23-0) and Arthur Abraham (32-2) at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California. The bout is part of a Showtime tournament called the Super Six World Boxing Classic, which is supposed to unify the WBC and WBA titles. War...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...
Bernard Hopkins Promotes Upcoming Fight By Calling Donovan McNabb A House Negro
Not long ago, HBO aired a promo for Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal in which the brassy tongued Hopkins verbally mauled his Haitian opponent. Unfortunately, HBO wasn't present when Hopkins lost his mind yesterday and voiced some astounding opinions about Donovan McNabb. Good thing Hopkins voiced the...
Mysterious Blackjack Savant Single-Handedly Busts Tropicana Casino
The New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement yesterday reported April revenue for casinos in Atlantic City. The numbers, down across the board, are disheartening for the second-biggest gambling market in the country. Heartening for the rest of the world, however, is that the Tropicana Casino and Re...
We Are All Dave McKenna XCV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is consumed by the fires of justice in DC Superior Court, where fires of justice occasionally erupt, possibly in trash cans reserved for frivo...
Luke Rodgers Will Burn Off Your Face, Landon Donovan
Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dick...
Here Is Where Kevin Durant Got Angry Last Night And Decided To Win
You'd think it would come later, and, yes, he did fail to shoot for most of the fourth quarter, and, yes, the wild triple overtime battle could have gone either way, but that's beside the point — because it was in the third that a squinty-eyed reptilian aspect came over Kevin Durant and he brought...
We Are All Dave McKenna XCIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is walked to slaughter under an angry moon....
Frankie Edgar, Gray Maynard Get Injured And Pull Out Of UFC 130 Right As UFC Announces It Will Pay For Injury Insurance
Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard called off their May 28 lightweight championship rematch today after Edgar revealed he had hurt ribs and Maynard said he'd messed up his knee. Far be it from this blogger to question the timing of these injury announcements, but they do come on the same day that the UF...
MLS Salaries Make No Secret Of MLS Plan To Create NY-LA Rivalry
In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up...
We Are All Dave McKenna XCIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit locks itself in a garage with the engine running....
If Pacquiao-Mosley Was A Snoozer, Arce-Vazquez Was A Goddamn Slobberknocker
For those of you who spent $55 to watch Shane Mosley preserve his brain cells last night against Manny Pacquiao, my condolences go out to you if the main event was all you saw. Because the Jorge Arce vs. Wilfredo Vazquez Jr. bout on the undercard was unreal. It oozed with subtext: Mexico vs. Puert...
Watch Rajon Rondo Dislocate His Elbow, Channel Willis Reed
Rajon Rondo not know pain. Him not need elbow. Rondo shouldn't have planted his arm like that when Dwyane Wade landed a textbook reverse flying scissors trip, but maybe Rondo doesn't need that arm. It dangled limp at his side as he returned for the fourth quarter to play defense and distribute the...
Alejandro Bedoya Does The Bernie After Scoring A Nice Goal In Sweden
American international Alejandro Bedoya has been bagging goals for his Swedish team Orebro. He's also importing some American low-culture to Scandinavia. Here he is doing The Bernie, which in case you weren't already aware was inspired by the dead guy in "Weekend at Bernie's" and resembles The Dou...