rick-chandler-old Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

After Abilene Christian's 93-Point Saturday Afternoon, Fans Ask What's Next?
Stuff you may not know about Div. 1-AA II Abilene Christian University: Their quarterback, Billy Don Madison Malone, was once the heir apparent to J.P. Losman at Tulane, and some says he's better. Wilbert Montgomery, who still holds the franchise rushing record for the Philadelphia Eagles, is a prou...


Mayweather Jr. Makes It Rain With Monopoly Money, Loses Street Cred
Now that Pacman Jones has vowed to straighten up and fly right, who's going to toss enormous amounts of cash into the air so that random strangers can clutch at the loot in a screaming frenzy? Floyd Mayweather Jr., that's who. One glitch, however. Apparently Pretty Boy Floyd's money is fake. As in c...


Enjoy The Whimsical Coaching Stylings Of Jimmy Patsos
In our latest edition of Coaching Tactics For The Comically Insane, we present Loyola. Md. coach Jimmy Patsos, who had a foolproof way to defend Davidson's Stephen Curry on Tuesday. Patsos rolled out the triangle-and-two, and with devastating effect: Curry was held scoreless. One problem, though. Pa...


Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...

Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...

Dick Vitale Is Very Diligent About His Halftime Research
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. The reader who sent this in asked the question that I think we were all wrestling with as we tried to fall asleep last night: Was Dick Vitale trying to cop a feel from a Kansas che...


Mmmm, Ridiculously Elaborate Golf Wedding Cake ...
In a feat of engineering to rival the ancient pyramids or maybe even Lucas Oil Stadium, pro golfer Billy Mayfair and his lovely bride, former ASU golfer Tami Proctor, rolled out a $50,000 wedding cake at their nuptials on Saturday. It had 10 tiers, with I believe a mezzanine section and a tiny eleva...

Hard-hitting journalism from The Worldwide Leader: "If you have a beard and are free at 1 p.m. today, ESPN wants you. An ESPN GameDay crew is flying out from New York and Connecticut to do a feature on the football team's "No Shave November." ESPN is looking for people with beards to show up at the ...


A-Rod Not In Touch With His Inner Jewishness
Uh oh, guess who was busted for skipping his Kaballah classes? One Mr. Alex Rodriguez is in so much deep shit with Madonna it's not even funny. MSNBC is saying that the Yankee has cancelled private classes with "spiritual leader" Eitan Yardeni, who was supposed to guide A-Rod around the bases of cos...

In These Troubled Times, Why Not Trust Your Money To A Hochuli?
Have some money to invest, but you're not totally sold on the financial genius that is Lenny Dykstra? Why not try Shawn Hochuli, son of embattled NFL referee iron pumper Ed Hochuli? Shawn is a football referee as well, in addition to being a young Gordon Gekko. Hochuli refs in the Big 12, working ga...


Ted Williams' Daughter Likes To Paint, Has Issues
According to Leigh Montville’s book “Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero,” Williams was a distant father, who missed the births of son John Henry and daughter Claudia, the former for a fishing trip. His non-parenting of course caused no repercussions, as is seen in adult Claudia's happy,...

Nudie Magazine Seeks Student Sportswriter For Good Time, Possible Relationship
The first line of Playboy's advertisement immediately caught my eye: Do you think you have what it takes to be the next Rick Reilly? Oh, do go on! America's favorite ensconced-in-plastic magazine wants your help again, and they ain't looking for commenters this time. Playboy U is looking for a stude...

