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Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: American League
And down the stretch they come! A look ahead at the final few weeks of the regular season, and why your team is doomed, in capsule form. Today, the American League ... East • 1. Tampa Bay Rays. Record: 85-56. Magic number: 20. Big strength: Evan Longoria is back after a stint on disabled list with a...

Tom Brady Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Forget for a moment how the Patriots are going to cope without Tom Brady this season; how is the league itself going to survive? The facts are these: We awaken on Monday morning to a world in which Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are irrelevant, and Brett Favre and Kurt Warner are dancing about celebra...

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
As the world holds its collective breath awaiting official word on Tom Brady's knee injury, bloggers are working through their apprehension and grief the only way they know how; with wild, panicky speculation. Here's a sampling ... • A Letter From God Addressed To New England Patriot Fans. Let's fac...

Buzz Bissigner Will Defend Barry Bonds To The Very End
So our non-frog-resembling, perpetually indignant pal Buzz Bissinger has a piece in the New York Times today on Barry Bonds. It's a mostly-sympathetic look at the bloated slugger, at least as it pertains to his legal woes. So to recap: Will Leitch and sports blogs, bad. Barry Bonds, good. Thanks for...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the terrible Canadian meat probe (well, I suppose that's better than a giant zucchini probe) ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony, at Springfield, Mass. (7:30 p.m., ET). Patrick Ewing, Cathy Rush, Pat Riley, Hakeem Olajuwan, Dick Vitale and Adrian Dantle...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "We have no idea what a Zorn-coached team is going to look or perform like in a real game." — Cavalierman007Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Week, plus a Featured...

Lance Armstrong Is One Studly Guy, According To Lance Armstrong
The October Men's Journal has a lengthy profile on Lance Armstrong by Vanessa Grigoriadis, which eventually and rather terrifyingly delves into his sex life. Does America really need this during these times of uncertainty? Armstrong's past three girlfriends have been Kate Hudson, Tory Burch and Sher...

'Dear Eli' ... Six NFL Quarterbacks We Just Can't Stand
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

NFL Season Preview: San Francisco 49ers
The NFL season begins in earnest in about 48 hours, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous others who consider football the only sport worth watching. You will see many of these today, because we're a...

Nightmare Ant Shall Have His Revenge, In This Life Or The Next
I've always said it: Deadspin will never really make it until we can count D-League basketball owners among our readership. Well now we've achieved that lofty goal. In an open letter in his blog on Thursday, Ft. Wayne Mad Ants co-owner Jeff Potter described last month's thrilling Deadspin Hall of Fa...

Jay Mariotti Is Looking For A Web Designer. Could It Be You?
Are you a "geek with style and a passion for sports?" Jay Mariotti wants you to design his blog. At least I assume that's who is responsible for this Chicago Craigslist post which went up on Wednesday afternoon, which states a "major national sports personality website is looking for a talented webm...



Jim Zorn Will Not Keep John McCain Hanging
Pretty entertaining NFL opener last night, but what WAS the deal with the Redskins not going to the no-huddle on that second-to-last possession down by nine with about five minutes left? John Madden's explanation: Jim Zorn didn't have time to put in a no-huddle. That's a pretty hilarious notion, act...

The End Of Productivity: Your NFL Opener Is Finally Here
I don't know about you, but after a summer of confusing Chinese Olympic ceremonies and Barry Zito highlights, I'm ready for tonight's game big time. Redskins! Giants! Meadowlands! The NFL is here! My nipples explode with delight. If they're smart, the Giants should have worked this week on figuring ...

Mr. Met Will Shield Your Children From Online Predators
Watch out evildoers, Mr. Met is now savvy to the ways of the Interwebs. He is ready to kick some serious online predator ass. The Mets are having their Internet Safety Day on Saturday, and there are plenty of fun Internet safety activities planned. I'm pretty sure. Actually I have no idea, so let's ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while mourning the loss of your mechanical ape ... • NFL: Redskins at Giants (7 p.m., ET). The dance, she begins. [NBC] • College football: South Carolina at Vanderbilt (8:30 p.m., ET). Commodores; the most fearsome of all seagoing officers. [ESPN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's quarterfin...

The University Of Virginia Will Not Tolerate Your Disrespectful Signage
You have hurt Al Groh's feelings for the last time, Virginia fans. The Cavaliers' troubled and sensitive head coach — who really only wants to be loved — has taken a lot of abuse from Virginia fans over the past two seasons. It's in part because of his $1.7 million contract, and in part due to thing...