rick-chandler-old Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The 600 Club
Fun pregame activity for Florida Marlins players: Guess the attendance. Wednesday's opponent at Dolphins Stadium: Atlanta Braves. So Marlins reliever Joe Nelson does a head count and guesses, 418 fans. He was way off. The true count: 600. Each fan had his own personal usher. But was this a record fo...
Daunte Culpepper's Rather Depressing Email Retirement
The starnge, sometimes brilliant career of quarterback Daunte Culpepper — who played Butch to Randy Moss' Sundance in six seasons with the Vikings — has announced his retirement. It wasn't at a press conference, but in an email to NFL.com reporter Adam Schefter. Replaced by Trent Green in Miami, a b...
You Can Take Our Sarah Palin Videos, But You'll Never Take Our FREEDOM
You're slipping, Republican Party. It took you four entire days to find and eradicate the great Sarah Palin sportscaster video from the YouTubes; the one we found and posted on Saturday to the delight of a weary world starved for young newswomen with gigantic, 1980s hair. Those were a glorious four ...
Instant Replay II: Rise Of The Machines
Let the record show that the first use of instant replay in Major League Baseball was used on Wednesday to confirm an Alex Rodriguez home run in the Yankees' 8-4 win over Tampa Bay (a more deserving recipient there has never been). But wait, was it the first? Stacy Long of the Montgomery Advertister...
Tatum Bell Declares Innocence While Suspiciously Wearing Rudi Johnson's Underwear
Yep, this is EXACTLY what the Lions needed. Our story so far: Rudi Johnson arrived at Lions headquarters on Monday to make a deal to become their backup running back, when his two large Gucci dufflebags were stolen from outside of CEO Matt Millen's office. Video surveillance cameras revealed that it...
Sarah Palin's Former Sports Director Tells All
Interns; what would we do without them? They make coffee, do grunt work, execute commenters, and eventually become governors of large, beaver-infested states. Young Sarah Heath was an intern at KTUU-TV2 in Anchorage, Alaska in 1987 and '88, video proof of which we showed you on Saturday. She of cour...
J. Jonah Jameson Is Not Amused
Eat your heart out, T.O. This young man is Arland Bruce III, speedy receiver for the Toronto Argonauts, who play a strange variation of the game of football which includes 16 players per side, among them horses, elves and hobbits. Also the ball is made entirely of bacon. But another thing that makes...
No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...
Note To Self: Do Not Let Tatum Bell Check My Luggage
Running back Rudi Johnson had no sooner arrived in Detroit on Monday than he lost his luggage; not at the airport like God intended, but outside of CEO Matt Millen's office in the Detroit Lions locker room. While Johnson was in Millen's office working out details of a one-year deal with the team, he...
It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while deciding between pliers and a wrench ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Carlos Zambrano rocks the chin whiskers. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's fourth round and women's quarterfinals, at New York (7 p.m., ET). The only sport that features balls in a can. [USA] • M...
A Little Olympics Snafu Down In The Control Room. Push The Button, Frank
One of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 lines came during the movie City on Fire, when, as a woman is gong into labor, Crow T. Robot yells: "Get a catcher's mitt!" It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since MST3K was canceled on the SciFi channel; but for about four hours during t...