rickchand-old Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing with your Keith Richards action figure ... • NBA: And just for the hell of it, you get a technical for reading this. Jazz 100, Warriors 87. • MLB: Randy Johnson pitches six gem-like innings, is then placed back into the plastic container to prevent spoilage. Diamondback...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another trip to the penis burn ward ... • NBA: Playoffs, conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 5; Golden State at Utah, Game 5. Mulder believes the Warriors still have a chance. Scully does not. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Western Conference final, Detroit at Anaheim, Game 3...
My Other Car Is A Recliner
We hate to spoil everyone's fun, but with fuel prices at unprecedented levels, do we really need motorized furniture? It seems very imprudent. This guy here broke the furniture land speed record recently by pushing his sofa to 92 mph ("The upholstery will ne're hold, capt'n!"), but what bothers us m...
There Are Now No Gay Lacrosse Coaches (That We Know Of)
Kyle Hawkins coached the Unversity of Missouri men's lacrosse team for nine seasons, but only this past season was it known that he is gay. And now — surprise! — he's been fired....
Your Cheating Carp, Will Tell On You
We don't know a lot, but one thing we do know: If they ran baseball like they run fishing, the sport would be totally clean. Jason Giambi? Barry Bonds? If they took steroids on Tuesday, by Thursday they'd be on a chain gang breaking rocks with a sledge hammer....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. MLB Inside Rob Neyer: Is calculating OBP more fun after 2 a.m.? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with Terry Blount: In retrospect, should a pit crew even bother with the rear-window de-fogger? • 4 p.m. NFL with Pro Football Weekly: Is it so wrong...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while washing your hand jammies ... • NBA: Do not jostle Steve Nash! Suns 104, Spurs 98. • MLB: What in the world has gotten into the Washington Nationals? • NHL: Live by the Sabre, die by the Sabre ... Senators take 3-0 series lead....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for the pizza guy to make a delivery whenever he damn well gets around to it ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Can we start tearing out the seats for souvenirs yet? [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Cleveland at New Jersey, Game 4; Western Conference se...
Send In The Clowns
We have always been amused by lacrosse, which is America's oldest sport and tends to put us in the mind of butterfly collecting. It is also the only sanctioned activity in which it is legal to poke your opponent repeatedly with a stick. But we also knew that the pro version was missing one key ingre...
The Edge Of Wetness
The other day we reported on the glory that is Pee Your Pants For The Brewers, the site that wants you to pledge to pee your pants should Milwaukee win the NL Central (no fair buying pre-peed pants). In less than a week, an additional 1,644 people have vowed to wet themselves should the Brewers do t...
We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Monday's Morning Buzz: Tank Johnson is in a tree in my front yard. Can the Humane Society shoot him with a tranquilizer gun and relocate him further back into the woods? • 1 p.m. AFL w/Rush DB Jeremy Unerti: Is there a more fut...
This Is A Little Hard To Believe, Even For The Orioles
Notes on a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tripping on peyote at the roulette table with your dead nephew's Vegas hooker. ... • NBA: Down go the Warriors! Utah 115, Golden State 101. • Golf: So out ... crooked baseball caps. So in ... Phil Mickelson golf visors. • MLB: Rockies caught in a vicious cycle thanks to Giants,...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Queen Elizabeth takes up the entire couch and hogs the remote ... • MLB: Atlanta at Pittsburgh. John Kruk says the smart money's on the Pirates. [TBS] • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, Utah at Golden State. Regarding your free throws, Warriors, we think that Alec Baldwin...
Kicking It Old School
This occurred on Monday; but it's from Sweden, and it's soccer ... in other words, you're lucky you're seeing it this soon. They're calling it The Greatest Goal Ever Scored, and we can't argue. Of course if they called it The Most Routine Goal Ever Scored we couldn't argue with that either. Get the ...
Blue Jays, You've Done It Again
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy league injuries. Ow, my diverticulitis! • 1 p.m. Page 2's D.J. Gallo: Don't you wish that someone would occasionally order you to pick the Pirates? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Didn't I just see Dale Earnhardt Jr....
About Last Night
What you missed while sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate pie ... • NHL: Oleg Saprykin cannot be contained this time of year. Senators 5, Sabres 2. • NBA: The Bulls, down 3-0 to the Pistons, can't even get all their players to show up on time. Wow. • MLB: OK, good win by Wakefield and the Red Sox....