samer Page 126 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Are Some Portraits Of Pets As NHL Players
Last August, a family of Minnesota Wild fans had their dog anthropomorphized into a player on the team, and the portrait was regal and adorable. A few more people asked Splendid Beast to paint their pets as hockey players, and the results are fantastic....

Bobby Petrino Is Still Scum
Bobby Petrino's coaching career has been a series of escapes. Not even one year after signing a 10-year extension with Louisville, he jumped to the Atlanta Falcons; bailed on the NFL after 13 games; went to Arkansas, where got the boot after wrecking his motorcycle with his mistress on the back; hop...

Report: Jets Coach Benched Evander Kane For Wearing Tracksuit
Winnipeg Jets winger Evander Kane was a healthy scratch for Tuesday's road game against the Vancouver Canucks, and according to one report, the decision came over a tracksuit....

"Hopped On The Sticks," An Appreciation Of Owning Kids At Video Games
On Jan. 13, 2014, a person with the Twitter handle @BeatinOff2Night—his current handle is @ChickenColeman2—tweeted a three-panel shot of him and a kid playing what appeared to be NBA 2K14. The game was evidently one-sided, but the caption was the best part:...
![Gronk's Sloppily Chugging Beer At The Super Bowl Parade [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/w8kmjacvhsxibgvgha98.jpg)
Gronk's Sloppily Chugging Beer At The Super Bowl Parade [Updates]
The Patriots are parading through Boston today, and walking beer pong tournament Rob Gronkowski is enjoying the festivities by wearing a children's hat and inefficiently putting beer in his mouth....

Cops: Colts LB D'Qwell Jackson Punched Pizza Guy Over Parking Spot
Washington D.C. police cited Colts linebacker D'Qwell Jackson for simple assault Tuesday after he allegedly twice punched a pizza delivery man in the head....

People On Twitter Think Colts DB Darius Butler Is Pats DB Malcolm Butler
Darius Butler is a defensive back for the Colts, but he played for the Patriots in 2009 and 2010. He has no relation to Patriots defensive back Malcolm Butler, whose interception sealed a Super Bowl win for New England. A few excited fans on Twitter mixed up the two players after the game, and Dariu...

Fake 90's Commercial Has An Extremely Dark Twist
This sketch from RocketJump starts out as a pastiche of 1990s commercials for kids—you know, the ones that had fisheye lenses, a ton of electric guitar, and ATTITUDE—but things take a turn for the disgusting about 47 seconds in. You've been warned....

Cops: Lance Armstrong Hit Two Parked Cars, Girlfriend Took Blame
According to Colorado police, Lance Armstrong literally hit two parked cars with his car in Aspen, and figuratively threw his girlfriend under the bus....

Kevin Durant Calls A Basketball Writer A Dumbass
The Oklahoma City Thunder gave forward Nick Collison a two-year extension today, and NBA reporter Chris Palmer criticized the contract and the team. So, Kevin Durant called him a dumbass....

Terrence Cody Indicted On Animal Cruelty Charges
With the NFL season over, the Ravens officially released Terrence Cody today after announcing the move on Jan. 23. The Baltimore County Police also announced that a local grand jury had indicted Cody on charges of animal cruelty. ...
![Cops: Warren Sapp Arrested For Soliciting Prostitute, Assault [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/t5totfhozpszfesqikzq.jpg)
Cops: Warren Sapp Arrested For Soliciting Prostitute, Assault [UPDATE]
NFL Network analyst and former Bucs defensive lineman Warren Sapp was arrested in Phoenix this morning and charged with soliciting a prostitute and assault. The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office confirmed the arrest. Sapp was taken in at 7 a.m., according to TMZ....

The Summer Of Gronk Has Officially Started
We're only in February, but the Summer of Gronk transcends seasons, and it immediately began after the Patriots' Super Bowl win last night. Here's pass-catching bicep Rob Gronkowski at the afterparty in the team's hotel doing some things with his arms to "I'm On One." Yes, he is wearing two hats b...

Here's Video Of Doug Baldwin's Flagged Touchdown Celebration
NBC might have cut away from Doug Baldwin's touchdown celebration, but this fan in the stands didn't. Now, let us debate: Is the Seahawk pooping the football, or laying it like an egg? This is surely the most pressing issue from last night's Super Bowl....

Nothing Like A Well-Executed Hip Check
What's better than a clean hip check, like this one by Senators defenseman Marc Methot on Coyotes winger Lucas Lessio Saturday night? A man flips upside down, falls on his ass, and doesn't get hurt. No one even tried to fight Methot after his hip check, because they knew it was flawless....

Francesco Molinari Sinks Hole-In-One; Gallery Throws Beers To Celebrate
Italian golfer Francesco Molinari nailed a lovely hole-in-one on the par-3 16th hole in the third round of the Phoenix Open today, and the spectators celebrated by tossing beers everywhere. Rowdy golf is fun golf....

How Will The Seahawks' Secondary Deal With Rob Gronkowski?
Richard Sherman might be the most vocal player in Seattle's hard-hitting, receiver-eating secondary known as the Legion of Boom, but he's far from the only key contributor. In fact, depending on his elbow's condition, Sherman might not even play a major part in the Hawks' gameplan. ...

Oliver Ekman-Larsson Scores Distant Shorthanded Goal On Hapless Leafs
Arizona Coyotes defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson was only trying to dump the puck, but the unintended accuracy gave him his 13th goal of the season as the "shot" got past Maple Leafs goalie Jonathan Bernier. Toronto is at the point where it can't even lose a lead on an even-strength goal....

The Patriots' Super Bowl Success Relies On The Brady-Gronk Connection
Since Randy Moss got the Jazzy Jeff toss from the New England in the middle of the 2010 season, Patriots fans have spent offseason after offseason squawking about the team's need for a deep-threat receiver. Those people are idiots. The current Patriots do not need a deep threat, because Tom Brady su...

You Can Tell College Gronk's Cool Because He's Wearing Sunglasses
Here we see human Spuds MacKenzie Rob Gronkowski in his natural state at the University of Arizona: No shirt, sunglasses, and a big dumb smirk. You can hear the 311 playing through your screen....