samer Page 145 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lions Fuck Themselves Into A Win
We're used to the Lions beating themselves, but today, Detroit screwed themselves so badly, they won....
Hunter Pence's Catch Was Good, But His Face Was Better
Giants outfielder Hunter Pence made an excellent catch in the ninth inning of Game 4 last night, but please watch the slow-mo replay. Look at Pence's crazed face. It's a combination of the Michael Jordan tongue wag and the eyes of someone who locked eyes with Medusa....
Lou Holtz Sneezes On Air; Rece Davis Doesn't Miss A Beat
Lou Holtz couldn't suppress his sneeze during a halftime report yesterday, and we were all fortunate enough to hear the adorable, party-favor sound he made. Rece Davis moved on gracefully, while Holtz laughed it off and said ... something....
PGA President Fired For Calling Ian Poulter "Lil Girl" On Twitter
PGA president Ted Bishop was canned today after bickering with English golfer Ian Poulter on Twitter yesterday and calling him a "lil girl."...
Hey, The Falcons And Lions Are Playing At 9:30 A.M. ET Sunday
Yeah, we did a post touching on Sunday's Lions-Falcons game in Wembley Stadium, but an informal poll showed that most of us didn't know it would air on the East Coast at 9:30 a.m. We thought it'd be at 1 p.m. like usual. Anyway, now you know. Double-check your fantasy team and start drinking earlier...
Frank Caliendo Has A Spot-On Stephen A. Smith Impersonation
Frank Caliendo was on that ESPN radio show with the two Mikes, and broke out his Stephen A. Smith impersonation, "Stephen B. Smith." The unnecessarily wordy sentences, the name-dropping—it's perfect....
Browns WR Exiles 2-Year-Old Son From House For Liking Bengals
Andrew Hawkins played three seasons for the Bengals, but he signed with the Browns this offseason. The wide receiver had to uphold the AFC North rivalry after Hawkins's two-year-old son said his favorite players were Bengals receivers Mohamed Sanu and A.J. Green....
Police: Broncos Safety Punched Cab Driver, Tried To Hide In Mulch
John Boyett, a former Colts safety who was arrested in Sept. 2013 while yelling, "You can't arrest me, I'm a Colts player," was arrested Wednesday in a Denver suburb after the Broncos practice squad player's outing at a bar ended with him allegedly trying to hide from police by covering himself in m...
Branden Oliver Is San Diego's New, Improved Darren Sproles
The Chargers looked stacked at running back before the season started. Ryan Mathews would lead, Danny Woodhead would find some carries and work as a frequent pass-catcher, and Donald Brown would do... something—So nice to have you, Donald! By Week 5, Mathews, Woodhead, and Brown were sidelined by in...
Zach Mettenberger Looks Ready, Titans Fans
Your new starting quarterback looks like a winner, or a man about to make a scene at Mapco because they stopped beer sales. It's one of those....
Chris Douglas-Roberts Is Bringing Short Shorts Back To The NBA
Chris Douglas-Roberts signed a one-year deal with the Clippers, and is taking advantage of the opportunity to inflict untold horrors on the basketball-loving public. Douglas-Roberts asked for medium-sized shorts. Functionally, those are short shorts....
Old Clippers Fan Mauls Young Clippers Fan In Brawl During Game
Button-up man took on T-shirt man at Wednesday night's Suns-Clippers game to determine whose style of shirt was superior. Or, maybe they were fighting for a dumber reason. Who knows....
Tim Lincecum Missed The World Series Intros Because He Was Barfing
Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was absent for the introductions before Game One of the World Series last night, and no one knew why at the time. Was he fed up with his minuscule role in San Francisco's bullpen? Was there a fight in the clubhouse? Nah. He was just puking....
Cops: Substitute Teacher Gave H.S. Footballer Oral Sex During Pep Rally
A 22-year-old substitute teacher was arrested and charged after she allegedly performed oral sex on a 17-year-old high school football player during an Oct. 17 pep rally. The player also reportedly asked her to perform "sex acts" as many times as his jersey number. (The jersey number wasn't specif...
Old Man In Sweater Knocks Virile Young Man Right On His Ass
That dude's confidence is now toast, because an old man in street clothes just handled him without breaking a sweat....