samer Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carson Wentz Tore His ACL And The Eagles Have To Use Nick Foles, Again

Eagles QB Carson Wentz had to leave Sunday’s game with a knee injury, and the citizens of Philadelphia waited with bated breath and clenched buttholes for any updates, hopefully not involving any three-letter medical abbreviations. But the news today wasn’t good: Wentz is done for the year....

Deadspin Up All Night: I'm Not New To This

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors bet against Clay Travis’s college football picks, excluding Buckeyes games, for the entire season and made a 14 percent profit. Add it to the mountain of evidence that Clay Travis knows nothing and talks out of his ass. [Eleven Warriors]...

Julio Jones Is Incredible, Even On Defense

Julio Jones is easily one of the best receivers in the NFL (I’d say the best but then someone would rightfully point out Antonio Brown exists and then we’d have a long fruitless debate about it), but in Thursday’s game, Jones found himself on the other side of the ball. After Saints cornerback Marsh...

Browns Claim They Fulfilled Rooney Rule In One-Day GM Hiring Process

The Browns fired executive VP of football operations Sashi Brown Thursday and hired former Chiefs GM John Dorsey as his replacement, within the same day. That was quick! The speedy process also brought up the question as to whether the team complied with the Rooney Rule in its search....

Barstool Sports Editor-In-Chief Calls 16-Year-Old Cheerleader Hot, Sarcastically Apologizes, Deletes Everything [Update]

Texas high school cheerleader Ariel Olivar impressed and baffled the internet with her invisible box trick. Tons of outlets wrote about it, usually marveling at the difficulty of her accomplishment. Barstool Sports editor-in-chief Keith Markovich thought it was worth noting something else....

Steelers' Mike Mitchell Rails At The NFL's Inconsistency On Suspensions For Hits

Steelers safety Mike Mitchell watched how the NFL has responded to three different plays in this past week of football, and he’s not happy about the different punishments that the league has handed down in response or the arcane reasoning behind those punishments....

IOC Bans Russia From The 2018 Winter Olympics For Absurdly Intricate Doping Scheme

The International Olympic Committee announced today that it has banned Russia—but not all Russian athletes—from the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, as an unprecedented punishment for systemic doping, including at the 2014 Games in Sochi. ...

Thomas The Tank Engine Can Pull Some Gnarly Tricks<em></em>

Thomas the Tank Engine, as a children’s book and TV series, may be vaguely authoritarian, but as a toy, it’s weirdly entertaining. Watch in awe (or at least with surprisingly strong interest) as the locomotive does totally sick tricks like a 50-50 grind, or a barrel roll onto a parallel track. ...

Doug Marrone's Ideal Meal Is A Bologna Sandwich By Himself

Now that the Giants have fired Ben McAdoo, someone else has to be the spiritual successor to Jim Tomsula, a former doormat salesman whose figurative and literal hunger earned him exactly one season leading the 49ers, but oh, what a season it was. Jaguars coach Doug Marrone already seems like a viabl...

Just Try To Bring Down Alvin Kamara

Saints rookie running back Alvin Kamara has turned into an absolute force this season as he’s made tacklers miss left and right. Chances are your friend won’t shut up about how he’s rescued their fantasy football team. (Great move, you’re the Howie Roseman of your league. Now fuck off.) The 5-foot-1...

New Arizona State Coach Herm Edwards Had A Bizarre First Press Conference

Herm Edwards, who hasn’t coached football since 2008, is now in charge of the Arizona State Sun Devils. The school’s athletic director and Edwards’s former agent Ray Anderson is convinced that this will be a successful idea. Try to parse this press release while keeping in mind that it is about a m...

Robbie Gould Clowned The Bears

Kicker Robbie Gould’s 11-year tenure with the Bears came to an unceremonious end when the team released him a week before the 2016 season started. GM Ryan Pace believed that Connor Barth was better and more affordable than Gould, though Barth was cut last month for Cairo Santos. On Sunday, Gould, t...

Even Bill Belichick Knew Gronk's Late Hit Was "Bullshit" [Update]

Rob Gronkowski, a palooka with a new mean streak, somehow avoided an ejection after he crushed Bills cornerback Tre’Davious White well after the play was over. (White had to leave the game and be evaluated for a concussion.) ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Neither Can You

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the weekend. ...

Another Mad Pooper Has Struck Near Buffalo

The town of Orchard Park, N.Y., home of the Bills, has been soiled by a person leaving poops in places where they shouldn’t. This unrestrained defecator’s modus operandi sounds very much like the infamous Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs....

Jimbo Fisher Job Watch: Christmas Tree Trashed

Update (1:25 p.m. ET): Wayne McGahee III, who reported on Jimbo Fisher’s Christmas tree, is now reporting that Fisher has accepted the job at Texas A&M. Wayne knew....

College Football Message Board Owner Turns Out To Be Hateful Moron

Montana Grizzlies football fan Lisa Davey didn’t want the school to bring back Bobby Hauck as head coach. Hauck left for UNLV after the 2009 season, and his last few years with the Grizzlies featured a number of his players and recruits being arrested for various crimes, and his stonewalling of the ...

Old, Fucked-Up Tiger Woods Plays Real Golf For The First Time In 10 Months<em></em>

After 301 days, Tiger Woods is once again playing golf. The 41-year-old was -1 after the first four holes of today’s Hero World Challenge, and his tee shots looked good. Surely, Tiger is back, for real this time, no, seriously, his body will hold up, for sure....

Report: Florida State Football Players Were Suspects In Frat Turtle's Gruesome Death

Florida State kicker Ricky Aguayo and tight end Ryan Izzo appear to have been involved in some type of feud with a frat at the school, and somehow, this resulted in the death of a different frat’s pet turtle, named “Turntle.”...