seanebeckwith Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The College Football Marty McFly Rankings for Week 2: USC is the most back of any team that’s ever been gone
It was a pretty good week for teams still working their way back to the arbitrary standards that their fans set for them, and the rate at which ranked schools and heavy favorites were going down Saturday, I was a little nervous. I’m not quite sure what this list will look like once all of these team...
Get your ‘Let’s Ride’ jokes in now while Russell Wilson is still in the fetal position
The Broncos might end up being good. Russell Wilson didn’t look terrible, the team fumbled on the brink of the endzone multiple times, and receivers who wiggled open got the ball. For one night though, everyone — mostly Seahawks fans — who rolls their eyes at Russ’ well-manicured public image and da...
There’s losing to Kentucky and Marshall, and then there’s losing to App State and Georgia Southern
The unassuming weeks are always the most dangerous for college football, but especially so early in the season when the rankings are more guesses than earned distinctions. Still though, when you schedule an FCS school and pay them to come play non-conference patsy during homecoming or whatever else,...
Alabama-Texas was drunk, I mean like drunk drunk
This is why people can’t quit Texas. They have all the talent to hang with and beat the best teams in the country even with a backup QB, and like Mikey with a number in Swingers, fuck it up. The rest of the SEC watching wishes that version of Alabama shows up to conference play, but still someone ha...
Oh great, they’re letting humanoids play tennis now
The US Open could’ve fizzled out after Serena Williams and Rafael Nadal lost. Casual fans are conditioned to look for those four names when following a Grand Slam. While we weren’t watching for Williams’ pursuit of her 24th Slam, we were still watching for Serena. The men’s bracket was more of the s...
It was Molina and Wainwright, not Pujols, making Cardinals fans verklempt Thursday
The issue I have with nostalgia is it makes people sentimental. Having a deep conversation with anyone is right next to “root canal” on my list of things that I actively avoid. If you’re going to melt into a puddle of tears, I need a 5-foot buffer minimum, and I’m going to slowly back peddle to the ...
Here’s a life hack for NBA players upset about their NBA 2K23 ratings
Can we please stop bothering the people responsible for your digital entertainment? First, She-Hulk doesn’t look right, then Game of Thrones had a glitch, and now the annual gripe fest that is NBA players bemoaning their ratings in NBA 2K games has returned. Please, enough with the outrage. These pe...
Beware the YouTube footage of the transfer quarterback
A change of scenery doesn’t change a player’s DNA. Coaching staffs can alter the way a quarterback is used and improve his production, but the flaws will surface under intense stress. It’s like Tim Tebow’s throwing motion. The guy could have the footwork of Peyton Manning and the accuracy of Drew Br...
Mets fans know better than to smile
As soon as Mets fans let their guards down and enjoyed Timmy Trumpet a little too much, we all knew what was coming next. The team’s lead in the NL East has been dwindling for going on three weeks, and now after losing three straight — two to the Nats and one to the Pirates — New York and Atlanta ar...
The Marty McFly Rankings Week 1: Which college football program is most on its way to being ‘back’?
It feels like an abundance of college football programs are “back” this season more so than in recent iterations. USC beat Rice 66-7, and they’re already the Pac-12’s best hope of making the College Football Playoff. Florida State topped LSU (who’s still a candidate to make this list if Brian Kelly ...
There’s been an overcorrection on the Eagles
It’s impossible to walk by a game of oversized Jenga at the bar and not look at the teetering stack of blocks. There’s something about how it sways before inevitably crashing down into wreckage that’s enthralling. It’s how I feel when I look at the Eagles’ bandwagon growing like a neglected yard....
Might be time for pro athletes to beef up that security — or flaunt less online
In a little less than three months, it will be the 15th anniversary of Sean Taylor’s death from a home invasion in South Florida. A physical specimen by any metric, the University of Miami and Washington NFL franchise star died from a gunshot wound at age 24. ...
The SEC is obnoxiously perfect in Week One
The upset of Week 1 in college football wasn’t really an upset — if you ask SEC fans. Bill Napier, in his first game as the head coach of Florida, knocked off defending Pac-12 champ, No. 7 Utah, in a contest of physical strength that featured six lead changes and a tie....
Remember when James Franklin was rumored for the USC job? Lol, me too
Any writer looking to get a head start on next year’s “Coach on the hottest seat” countdown might want to keep an eye on James Franklin. Even though the 10-year contract extension Penn State gave him in 2021 is likely enough to ensure his seat stays lukewarm, it was impossible to watch the season-op...
It’s just a game
The first time I wrote “professionally” about Serena Williams, back when Bleacher Report was still an onslaught of slideshows, I called her overrated. I was just out of college, and my terrible, awful, horrendous take was she didn’t win as much as she could. This was more than a decade ago, and it w...
Gary Player struggling to figure out how the internet works
The thing about the internet is it’s permanent. Scrub all you want, but no amount of skin grafts or laser removal is getting rid of that Kottonmouth Kings tattoo. While you can have an expert ink over it in hopes that no one notices, your asshole friends definitely have documented evidence of its ex...
Temper your expectations for USC, but not Caleb Williams
All of the delusional SoCal bros flooding Vegas with USC national championship bets would be better off taking that money and stapling it to bar walls or burying it. A title team constitutes more than Lincoln Riley and Caleb Williams as it takes pallets of talent to face down the Alabamas, Georgias,...
Now that the PGA season is over, the Saudi Tour has the spotlight to itself — D'oh!
The PGA Tour season is over, and the only PGA-sanctioned event left on the calendar is the President’s Cup, which Saudi Tour golfers are ineligible to play. Cam Smith won’t be included, despite qualifying for the international team, and neither will the other five golfers who announced their move a ...
The Oregon Ducks’ biggest pro sports star of this century is… Justin Herbert?
Since 2000, the Oregon Ducks football team has reached double-digit wins 12 times. That’s more than a lot of schools in that span, including college football programs laden with tradition like Michigan (eight seasons), Florida (nine), Notre Dame (nine), and USC (11). There have been many unforgettab...
Reason No. 9,000,328 why the NFL is incompetent when it comes to women
Matt Araiza, who was drafted by the Buffalo Bills and is commonly known as The Punt God, has been accused in a lawsuit of gang raping a minor along with two other San Diego State teammates. The Bills were informed in late July by the attorney who filed the suit in San Diego Superior Court...