sussman-old Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You'd Think LeBron Would Be Accustomed To Being Surrounded By Nobodies
Like many of you since 1996, I missed Saturday Night Live last night, hosted by LeBron James, and have only the YouTubery offered up by NBC to go on. In this case, the monologue ("LeBronologue!" Oh, what whimsy!) was my favorite. There was also a High School Musical skit that had so much potential, ...

Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Oklahoma
ESPN enjoys to alliterate Saturdays with "S" words — which are words that begin with the letter "S" — to glorify the weekend's slate of intense games. Separation Saturday comes foremost to mind. But with all the upsets that occurred in the Top 25, perhaps yesterday should be known as "Suck It" Satur...

If There Is An Allah, He'll Permit A Four-Way Tie
Whenever I see a baseball fight late in the season, I picture Colin Mochrie in front of a green screen trying to figure out what's going on, saying "Well, it all started over a bowl of soup! And now ... look at it!"...

Non-Football Sports On TV (And NFL Coverage Maps)
• 12 noon — Golf: Presidents Cup, Final Round [NBC] • 1:00 p.m. — Bowling: Women's U.S. Open [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Top Gun [Spike] • 2:00 p.m. — NASCAR: LifeLock 400, at Kansas Speedway [ABC] • 2:00 p.m. — MLB: Braves at Astros [TBS] • 2:00 p.m. — MLB: Tigers at White Sox [WGN]...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking too much delight in telling your college friends that your old girlfriend is pregnant ... • NHL: Kings oppress Ducks in jolly old England, tax them without representation. • Boxing: Kelly Pavlik salivates once he hears the KO bell. • Women's World Cup: American women sco...

Confusing Rope-a-doping With Plain Ol' Doping
BALCO Twin Powers, ACTIVATE! Form of: boxing! Shape of: "Sugar" Shane Mosley! Now we have to wonder if that really was sugar that inspired his nickname....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...

So Much For Michigan Jokes
The Notre Dame jokes have outnumbered the Pam Ward jokes, so you know it's serious in South Bend. But Michigan and Illinois are both 2-0 in the Big Ten. South Carolina and their Smelley Cock may dodge an upset by Mississippi State. And my Air Force over Navy prediction looks completely wrong. Oh, an...


Differences Between New Orelans and Malibu Beach Are Subtle
So here we are at 3:00. LSU is beginning to pull away from Tulane, but still is too long away from a 40-point win. Michigan is coming back against Northwestern, Duke (!) has narrowed the Miami lead to three, and even though Notre Dame is on the board, you Deadspin readers might as well be the Purdue...

Career Touchdowns Is Only A Number
• Brett Favre may end up with more TDs, but Dan Marino was still better. [Epic Carnival] • John Buccigross forgets that ESPN doesn't care about hockey. [Orland Kurtenblog] • Jets fans, as a collective, have gotten over the Patriots' videotaping. Exception: the guy suing the Patriots for $184M. [Lion...

Gamecocks Are Aromatically Content With Their Quarterback Situation
Most of you seem to be watching either Michigan-Northwestern or Purdue-Notre Dame. Which makes sense, because, well, that's what's on. Purdue is shutting out UND, while Northwestern holds a 13-7 lead over the Wolverines. In other games: LSU has a mere 10-9 lead over Tulane, Illinois leads Penn State...

OMG, Guyz, Nobody Understands My Complexity :-(
When we last left USA soccer goalie Hope Solo, she was benched in the semifinal game against Brazil, which they lost 4-0. Since then, Solo has publicly called out her coach for making the wrong decision, then defended her words on the best location possible: the Internet!...

It's Funny, Because Erin Andrews Is Hot, Unlike Charlie Weis
I'm not anywhere near a TV right now — Starbucks doesn't believe in college football — but I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that Erin Andrews interviews Charlie Weis on College GameDay. Totally a wild guess. Now, on with Hugh II: And the Nedyssey Continues......

Why Would You Bet On Kids? I'm A Man! I'm 40! Bet On Me!
Unsilent Majority isn't here this weekend to help you bet on college football. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not here to help you either. But if the following college football bets turn out to be true, consider it dumb luck....

Hopefully Hugh know the drill by now. If Hugh see something amazing college football-related on TV, or Hugh come up with something incredibly poignant about college football, Hugh gotta tell me about it. Last call for Hugh II submissions are 4:00 p.m. ET. This means Newfoundlanders have until 5:30 p...

Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...

What You Can Tell Your TV To Display Today
• Already in Progress — Golf: Presidents Cup, Day 3 [NBC] • 12 noon — NCAA Football: Notre Dame at Purdue [ESPN] • 12 noon — NCAA Football: LSU at Tulane [ESPN2] • 12 noon — Movie: Any Given Sunday [FX] • 12:30 p.m. — NCAA Football: Baylor at Texas A&M [VS] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Major League [TV Land...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while scrolling up classic cinemas... • NCAA Football: South Wang upsets West Middlefinger 21-13. • Preseason NHL: Canucks edge Flames 3-2, powered by Curtis Sanford's 40 saves, ya big dummy. • Women's Olympic Basketball: US 85, Canada 37. But in metric points, Canada only lost by si...