sussman-old Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

He's A Rick ... House
When Rick Ankiel made his debut, I was sort of hoping he'd continuously foul tip the ball to the backstop, just like old times when he was a pitcher. But rather than indulge in my fantasy, Ankiel basically shut all of us up Thursday night, then duct taped our mouths shut Saturday night with his fir...

What Sergio Garcia Is Watching Today
Already In Progress — PGA Championship, Final Round [TNT] 1:00 — Movie: Waterworld [Sci-Fi] 1:00 — Women's Soccer: New Zealand at United States [ESPN2] 2:00 — PGA Championship, Final Round, the good stuff [CBS] 2:00 — Nextel Cup: Centurion Boats at the Glen, Watkins Glen, New York [ESPN] 2:30 — Movi...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying out your homemade helicopter... • NFL Preseason: Browns 16, Chiefs 12. Charlie Frye won the coin toss, but not our hearts. • MLB: Angels 4, Twins 3. Maicer Izturis, so hot right now. • IRL: Tony Kanaan wins, Dario Franchitti goes airborne, Danica Patrick cuts a tire. Jus...

Side Effects Of Finasteride May Include Dizziness, Shortness Of Breath, And Suspension
Rick Guttormson had it all. Baseball talent, beautiful hair, a last name that rolls off the tongue, and the adoration of countless Japanese fan dancers. When the American Dream doesn't come through for someone, this is probably the next best thing. Then it all came crashing down in the form of a 20-...


To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the tower fan in the corner scans the room, quietly plotting its revenge... • IRL: Meijer 300 at Kentucky Speedway, 6:30 p.m. When you think about it, you never see open wheel cars on cinder blocks. [ESPN2] • Little League Baseball: Great Lakes Region final, Hamilton, OH vs. New Alb...

Sergio Garcia Struggles With Remedial Math
The Deadspin Comment Threadjackal System really works, because without it, I may have missed a goldmine unfold before our eyes. The world's foremost hard-luck PGA golfer, Sergio Garcia, was disqualilfied from the PGA Championship for signing his third round scorecard with an incorrect score. But he'...


Fox Sports Protects Us From The Horrors Of Boof
By now we're all deathly familiar with ESPN's travails trying to moderate comments with little ####ing success. And if ESPN opts not to be the bastion of uncensored response in user-generated content among network giants, where else do we turn? Fox Sports? Try again....

When Fantasy Owners Hold Closed-Door Meetings
• A casual fantasy baseball owner verbally rips his players new ones. [McSweeney's] • At least one SEC coach knows how to execute the perfect diving backflip. Too bad it's not Bobby Bowden. [Sports By Brooks] UPDATE: No, Bobby Bowden doesn't coach in the SEC. I couldn't think of any other overweight...

Chris Cooley's Gonna Have A Hot Wife
And now, boys and girls, it's time for a love story. It may resemble one you yourself have encountered, except this one involves people prettier than you. It's a story we've all heard: boy meets girl, girl is a cheerleader, boy meets another cheerleader, girls lose jobs because of boy, boy wins back...


Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way
We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...

Titans To Pacman: You Shant Pretend Wrestle
When we last left our intrepid yet suspended NFL hero, which was yesterday, we were speculating the possibility of wrestlers exacting revenge on Pacman Jones for what one of Jones' lackeys did to a strip club bouncer-slash-wrestling hopeful. So either the Tennessee Titans are afraid something might ...

Everyone's favorite volatile, chubby golfer isn't exactly atop the leaderboard, meaning he can't treat himself to whiskey and poker. Yet he hasn't totally collapsed, meaning he can't drown his sorrows in whiskey and poker. He's just sort of inhabiting this mellow, scary middle ground. I like my John...

The Real Pennant Race Borders Lake Michigan
• Ha-Ha, My Win Cancels Out Your Win. Looks like the NL Central is the lone division that knows how to orchestrate a damn pennant race. The Chicago Cubs won 6-2 over the Colorado Rockies, and they remain just ½ game behind the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers also won, but with a smaller margin of vic...

Quite Exciting, This Television Magic
Already In Progress — PGA Championship, Third Round [TNT] 11:30 — Nextel Cup: Qualifying, Centurion Boats at the Glen, Watkins Glen, N.Y. [ESPN2] 12:00 — Little League: Midwest Region final, Rapid City, SD vs. Coon Rapids, MN [ESPN] 12:00 — Movie: Little Giants [ABC Family] 1:30 — WNBA: Indiana Feve...

About Last Night...
What you missed while browsing our nation's logoriffic suspects... • PGA Championship: Relative unknown Tiger Woods shoots a 62½ and almost makes history. • MLB: White Sox beat Mariners 5-3, as Bobby Jenks also nears history. • Preseason NFL: Rams beat Vikings 13-10, although nothing from this game ...

Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...

To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....