tcraggs22 Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Real Madrid Goal-Scoring Record
When you sign Cristiano Ronaldo, you don't just get an oily gentleman who looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore, you also get goals — absolutely loads of them....

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has A Job Offer From The Cavs
Columbus, Ohio, homeless man Ted Williams, which is American for "Susan Boyle," apparently has been offered a home and a job doing voiceover work for the Cavs. Dreams do come true, America, just so long as they go viral first. [Business Insider]...

Walt Frazier Is Explaining And Splatter Painting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gilbert Arenas To J.J. Redick: "We're The Two Best White Shooters In The NBA"
This really is an amazing quote, and I have no idea what it means. Some points to consider:...

All Of Edin Dzeko’s Goals From Last Season … In 2-D!
Unless people are making it all up for a laugh, the big news is that the robed men at Man City have splurged another £30 million on hot European property — this time, Edin Dzeko of playing-for-Wolfsburg fame....

Here's The Favre Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
The massage therapists' lawsuit — against Brett Favre; the Jets; and the team's massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi — is below. If you'd like analysis, please consult the many Americans conversant in both the suit's particulars and the relevant case law....

That Was Indeed Jim Rome In The Studio Audience Of <em>American's Funniest Home Videos</em>
An email from Richard Connor, producer of America's Funniest Home Videos of Toddlers Swinging Baseball Bats in the Vicinity of Their Fathers' Unsuspecting Crotches, regarding this morning's screengrab:...

Clarification: Ron Franklin Called Jeannine Edwards "Sweet Baby," Not "Sweet Cakes"
Sweet baby? What the hell is that? Who calls anyone "sweet baby," outside of Boyz II Men songs? This makes Ron Franklin both patronizing and weird. [USA Today; earlier]...

Phil Jackson Says Allegedly Mean Thing About Kobe Bryant In Language Resembling English
The Sporting News thinks Kobe and Phil Jackson are now trading "barbs." I dunno. Maybe this sounded a lot more cutting in the original Swedish?...

Hey Sara Carbonero! Stay Away From Cristiano Ronaldo!
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Jim Rome Says, "War <em>America's Funniest Home Videos</em>"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Wonders And Weirdness Of ESPN In 3D
Patrick Sauer recently attended a viewing of the first-ever NBA telecast on ESPN's new 3D channel, and it was a glimpse into our strange future: floating heads, precision celebrity high-fives, and lots and lots of really unreal detail....

NFL Punishes Jets For Exposed Body Part That Is Not Brett Favre's Penis
The league has fined the Jets $100,000 for Sal Alosi's wandering foot, which probably comes to something like $10,000 per inch. If that's the going rate, Brett Favre totally got railroaded....

Nick Van Exel's Son Charged With Murder
Dallas police have arrested Nickey Maxwell Van Exel, 20, in the shooting death of Bradley Eyo. [Dallas Observer]...

Ohio State Players Who Took Discounted Stuff Will Return For Another Year Of Nominally Unpaid Labor
The Tattooed Five will be back in Columbus next year, per an agreement with Jim Tressel, who will teach the players a hard lesson about not paying for stuff by bringing them back for another year of unpaid football....

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been An Idiot?
The argument here — that we're justified in suspecting Jeff Bagwell of using steroids because he "never uttered a word" or "demand[ed] accountability" about PEDs in baseball — is straight-up HUACtastic bullshit, no chaser....

Ashley Cole Punched In The Underpants By Google
For all that is totally brilliant about modern technology, all this advancement has a downside. Notably that it's now damn near impossible to casually steamroller a whole host of women behind Cheryl Cole's back and ever have the whole mess forgotten about....

England Cricketers Celebrate Ashes Victory With A Sprinkler Dance
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Ron Artest Is Sort Of Nuts, According To Pretty Chart
Our pals at Flip Flop Fly Ball have charted the evolution of Ron Artest's jersey number, which is currently exiting its baroque phase. His next uniform will pay homage to the number of voices in his head. Click to enlarge. [FlipFlopFlyBall]...

Vikings Punter Thinks He Thinks Peter King Is Wrong
The Vikings' Chris Kluwe, fresh off last week's pillow fight with Peter King over the suddenly divisive issue of directional punting, stopped masturbating long enough to do a guest spot on MMQB....