tcraggs22 Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....

Mike Leach Saga Slowly Morphing Into An Outtake From <em>Rio Bravo</em>
Chris Level of RedRaiderSports.com reports that Mike Leach is filing a motion in his lawsuit against Texas Tech, and "the crowd at the courthouse is growing by the minute." [@ChrisLevel]...

Today In TMZish Sports: Gay-Baiting Tiger, Laser-Tagging John Fox, And A Spottswood For A-Rod
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Tony La Russa Is Screwing With Baseball Writers' Heads
Self-important blowhard manager loosely speculating about pinch-hitting Mark McGwire this season vs. self-important blowhard media collective accusing him of dicking around with Mark McGwire's Hall of Fame clock: Who ya got? [NYDN]...

"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....

Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...

Charlie Weis Beaches Himself In Kansas City
Weis will be the Chiefs' offensive coordinator, according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [ESPN]...

The Original Sports Guy, Now Blogging
Charles P. Pierce — author, Deadspin's chief book critic, and America's best sportswriter (no matter how many pins Bill Simmons sticks in his voodoo doll) — now has a blog. Read it immediately. [Boston.com]...

Man And The Machine: My Terrifying Semester With Bitter, Brilliant George Michael
George Michael, father of the kitschy yet influential George Michael Sports Machine, a man with a fondness for squirrel videos and Chris Berman alike, died on Christmas Eve. One of his former interns, Alan Siegel, remembers his old boss....

ESPN Enters Euclidean Space
ESPN's 3-D channel debuts this June with the World Cup opener, leaving the network one dimension shy of the spacetime continuum. [ESPN]...

Breaking: Buzz Bissinger Says Provocative Thing On Television
Watch as the ol' shit-pisser, speaking with Matt Lauer, deems Tiger a narcissist for doing pull-ups in front of Annie Leibovitz. Then he calls Lee Trevino a drunk. Just like W.C. Heinz used to do! [Courtesy Gawker.TV]...

Hoaxish Tiger Woods Story Finally Crosses The 49th Parallel
"After dinner, Tiger Woods watched football in the living room while sending text messages to Rachel, the famous blond [sic]," according to — oh, man, this is almost too adorable — a former NHL coach....

<em>Forbes</em> Wins The Race To Declare NBA Players "Thugs"
And there it is, right on time. "Many NBA players carry guns and the league is full of thugs," according to something called Michael Ozanian, national editor at Forbes, of all places....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again
"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News]...

Brit Hume Will Be Reincarnated As A Prick
On Tiger: "He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger is, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith...'"...

The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....

Truth-Squadding Kobe Bryant's "Broken" Finger
Via Bethlehem Shoals comes this stark piece of cinema, in which a brave truth-teller goes all Loose Change on Kobe Bryant's finger and informs us, among other things, that Bryant's "stupid avulsion fracture isn't even a real 'break.'" Video below....

The Urban Meyer 911 Call Is Unbearably Sad
"Urban, Urban, talk to me," says his wife, Shelley, while on the phone with the dispatcher. "He almost sounds like he's kind of trying to cry." [ESPN]...