tcraggs22 Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....
Scab Refs Won't Blow So Hard During The Regular Season, Statheads Assure Us
Basketball Prospectus' Kevin Pelton takes a look at the 1995 ref lockout and finds that replacements "increased the foul rate by .005—one call, that is, per 200 possessions, which is a little more than one game." [Basketball Prospectus]...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Citizens Bank Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Philadelphia Phillies' Citizens Bank Park....
LeBron James Is Sick In The Original Sense Of The Word
LeBron and two teammates have tested positive for Influenza A, and the Cavs are treating them like H1N1 cases. Worse, King James just gave more fuel to the anti-vaccine crazies: He thinks he got sick from his flu shot. [ESPN]...
Dennis Rodman, In The Pink
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Phillies-Dodgers Is Just Like Bloods-Crips, Insane Person Writes
Stu Bykofsky is the Philly Daily News' house lunatic who writes like he's corresponding from prison and who believes another 9/11 is just the thing to put some hair on America's chest. Care to hear his thoughts on Phillies-Dodgers?...
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....
Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....
Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...
Today In Binghamton Fallout
Binghamton has placed coach Kevin Broadus on a paid leave of absence, at last giving in to the widely held perception that Broadus had recruited the Hole-in-the-Wall Gang to the shores of the Susquehanna....
The Learning Curve: Brad's Beard's Blog
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....
Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......
Oh, Daddy, Dear. You Know You're Still Number One
Captain Lou Albano, pro wrestling manager and incongruous star of weird TV shows and several Cyndi Lauper music videos, died at home this morning. He was 76 and under hospice care. [PWTorch]...
U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
The Learning Curve: A Giant In Redskin Country
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....
Queering In The Press Box
Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!]...
The Hunt For Mr. October
A-Rod, through 42 postseason games: .291, 25 RBIs, 9 HRs, 46 hits, 158 at-bats, not a True Yankee, not clutch. Reggie Jackson, through his first 42: .265, 19 RBIs, 7 HRs, 40 hits, 151 at-bats, True Yankee, clutch. [Village Voice]...