tom-ley Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Week 2 And The Skins Are Already A Mess
Washington pulled off a rare feat with yesterday’s loss to the Cowboys, producing not just one anxiety-inducing postgame story for its fans to spend the week panicking over, but a whole host of headlines to make everyone in D.C. glum and the rest of us joyful....
Poorly Disguised Theo Epstein Takes In Cubs Game From The Bleachers
The Chicago Cubs are currently playing the Milwaukee Brewers at Wrigley Field, and some fans noticed that they happened to be sitting in the same section as a guy who looks a lot like Cubs GM Theo Epstein....
What The Heck Is Going On With Chris Ivory?
Jaguars running back Chris Ivory missed last week’s game against the Packers after being hospitalized early Sunday morning with what the team described as a “general medical issue.” Ivory was released from the hospital on Tuesday, and he will now miss this weekend’s game against the Chargers due to ...
Disgraced San Diego Padres GM A.J. Preller Certainly Seems Like An Idiot
MLB announced that Padres general manager A.J. Preller has been suspended without pay for 30 days following the league’s investigation into his team’s shady handling of player medical data. What’s remarkable about this isn’t that a GM has been suspended for concealing medical information about his p...
Report: San Diego Padres Hid Important Medical Information From Trade Partners
Remember when the Padres traded Colin Rea to Miami, only to have a furious Marlins front office send him back to San Diego after he got hurt in his very first appearance with his new team? According to a report from ESPN, that snafu didn’t happen by accident....
The Most Interesting And Dominant Baseball Player In The World Plays In Japan
There is a 22-year-old professional baseball player who owns the following 2016 stats: 123 innings pitched, 2.12 ERA, 151 strikeouts. He has also put up these stats this season: 288 at-bats, .326/.425/.611, 22 home runs....
Dinosaurs Suck Now
If there’s one thing that really upsets me, it is the scientific community’s continued insistence on turning dinosaurs into lame little fuckers. Today brings us news that paleontologists have created the most accurate depiction of a dinosaur in history, which means we now know that the Psittacosauru...
Kid Rock Pauses Ronnie Van Zant Cosplay Just Long Enough To Say, "Fuck Colin Kaepernick!"<em></em>
Kid Rock is still out there doing Kid Rock things, like putting on concerts for people who desperately want to be tricked into thinking they are listening to Lynyrd Skynard or Bob Seger. During one such concert at Fenway Park, Kid Rock took some time out of his performance to share his brief thought...
Adrian Beltre Is Still Slapping Dingers From One Knee
Adrian Beltre is one of the most entertaining baseball players any of us will ever have the pleasure of watching. He’s done many great things on the field that I will remember fondly, but falling to one knee as he hits the goddamn hell out of a baseball will certainly go down as his signature move. ...
Yasiel Puig Tosses Ball To Fan, Knocks Her Tooth Out
When it comes to hazards you need to look out for at a baseball game, a player tossing you a souvenir ball ranks several dozen places behind things like “watch out for foul balls” and “try not to get puked on.” And yet, one Dodgers fan managed to get herself extremely fucked up during what should ha...
Russian Hackers Get Into WADA Data, Find Nothing Incriminating<em></em>
Perhaps feeling a little bent out of shape about how much shit their country caught for running a massive, Cold War-style doping program for Olympic athletes, a group of Russian hackers have obtained confidential documents that they claim prove American Olympians are also big fat cheaters. The only ...
NFL To Stop Torturing Colorblind Fans With Color Rush Jerseys
The NFL is once again planning to distract people from dreadful Thursday night football by putting the players in dumb Color Rush jerseys. Pay no attention to the injured players performing poorly, lookit these kRazy jerseys!...
Behold The Glory Of The NFL Rulebook In One Dumb Clip<em></em>
A football move, what is it? I have no idea, but it is a term that figures into a lot of very confusing calls during NFL games....
Just Make <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i> Again
I just finished watching this dope-as-hell reel of raw footage from Mad Max: Fury Road, and goddammit, I’m all jazzed up for car crashes and explosions again. So here is my plea to George Miller: please just make Mad Max: Fury Road again....
Big Shock: RGIII Is All Fucked Up Again
Robert Griffin III is essentially a human Jenga tower, and so anytime he gets on the field the question to ask is not “Hey, is RGIII gonna be good again?” but rather “So, how long is this going to last?” If yesterday’s season opener against the Eagles is any indication, the answer is “Not long!”...
Charles Woodson Has Smart Things To Say About Colin Kaepernick
Former NFL player Charles Woodson is one of the new faces on the set of ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown, and yesterday he helped bring some sanity to the ongoing conversation about Colin Kaepernick’s act of protest....
I'm A Little Worried About This Bear
Here we have a bear who seems to have stumbled into unfamiliar territory:...
Jerry Jones Bought Himself A Helicopter Because That's What Rich Old Bastards Do
We all know Jerry Jones loves the finer things in life: tailored suits, his state-of-the-art football stadium, feeling up women in bathrooms. Now we can add “shooting pigs out of a helicopter” to that list....
Iman Shumpert Arrested For DUI
The Cleveland Cavaliers just released an official statement revealing that swingman Iman Shumpert was arrested for suspicion of DUI on Aug. 10....
Trevor Siemian Was Fine And The Broncos Should Be Thrilled<em></em>
As far as first career NFL starts go, Broncos quarterback Trevor Siemian acquitted himself well. In fact, if you’ll allow me to be the annoying amateur football analyst in your office real quick, I’ll say that Siemian’s pedestrian box score—18-of-26, 178 yards, one touchdown, two picks—doesn’t tell ...