tom-scocca Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...
Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Boone Logan Ex Machina
New York Yankees starting pitcher Bartolo Colon threw himself-and all humanity-on the mercy of the universe Friday night, by daring to pitch against the Boston Red Sox. And the universe delivered a mixed verdict: 4.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 K, hooked for Boone Logan with the bases loaded in the fifth. The Y...
Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...
Dear Grantland: Have You Never Heard of Motörhead?
While readers wait for ESPN's Grantland to provide a space for comments and corrections, Deadspin continues to help the startup by accepting and publishing feedback. Comments below reflect the opinions of Grantland readers and are not necessarily the views of Deadspin. Readers who have additional co...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Hard Work Is Rewarded
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and repository of ultimate philosophical truths, battled once more against entropy and meaninglessness on Saturday. Also against the Baltimore Orioles. A hit batsman and an error behind him put Colon on the ropes in the first inning, but he struck out Mark...
Florida International University Hires Noted Sociologist Rick Sanchez
The AP reported — and a tanned portrait, complete with dapper summer hat, on the Florida International University sports site confirms — that former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez has been hired to be the radio voice of the FIU Golden Panthers football team. Sanchez has two sons at FIU....
Rex Ryan Couldn't Wait To Boost And/Or Undermine Mark Sanchez
There's going to be football after all, which means there will be the New York Jets, which means it's time for people to start worrying and wondering about Mark Sanchez again. What can we expect this year from the young fellow who inherited the title of "New York football hero," scare quotes very mu...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
Dear Chris Kluwe: When We Want The Punter's Opinion, We'll Ask For It (We Won't)
Chris Kluwe should know better....
What Does Bartolo Colon Mean Today?
Life is a small sample. So what are the metaphysical implications of the most recent game pitched by the Yankees' 38-year-old fourth starter? After July 14 (0.2 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 0 K), "Defeat had simply taken wonder's place." Last night? 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 9 K. Wonder is back!...
ESPN Is Going To Think About Considering Making Sure Nothing Like What Didn't Happen To Bruce Feldman Ever Happens Again
"The recent flap over Bruce Feldman's non—suspension..." wrote ESPN's Poynter-approved ombudsperson, Kelly McBride, and already with that one jargony semi-word, "flap," we were in the Klein bottle of journalism about journalism by journalists for nobody. "To date, this is the most complicated ESPN i...
Is Baseball To Blame For The Pathetic State Of Pie Throwing?
So some dope interrupted the Murdoch family's stammering and mumbling today by "throwing a pie" at Rupert Murdoch, which actually meant waving a styrofoam plate in Murdoch's direction as some sort of foam slid off it, till Mrs. Rupert Murdoch jumped up and clobbered the "pie" guy....
Ricky Rubio Of The Habsburg Empire: Picturing The NBA's Europe Through Geopolitical History
Saturday in Vienna, the remains of Otto von Habsburg — would-be Emperor of Austria, Apostolic King of Hungary, (presumably non-apostolic) King of Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, and Galicia, Lodomeria, and Illyria, and so on, had all those jobs not been downsized when he was two years old — we...
Meat Loaf Was My Softball Coach
In 1991, I was a high school freshman in the small town of Redding, Conn. My brother was a senior, and his prom date was one of our neighbors down the street, a junior, Pearl Aday. Pearl would drive me home from softball practice when her father, our coach, was unable to. I preferred Pearl, as her d...
Close Reading: Did Grantland Rice Misquote Grantland Rice's Most Famous Quote?
Not long ago, the staff of ESPN's Grantland objected to a letter published by our Grantland Comments and Corrections Desk, which argued that the site's slogan misquoted Grantland Rice. After extensive research, Deadspin has concluded that Grantland's version of the slogan is valid. The irregularity ...
Duchess Kate Is The Future Queen Of Mutton Bustin'
Here are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surveying the remains of empire at the Calgary Stampede. The Duchess, according to the indispensable (and endearingly capitalized) official website of The British Monarchy, "is a keen sportswoman, and has been involved in many different sports over the year...
The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration
Enough arguing about who deserved to be an All-Star. Here are 100 baseball players who did not, though a couple are in the Hall of Fame. A survey of Major League Baseball's lowlights, lowlifes, and overachieving underachievers. PART ONE » | PART TWO »...
The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 2)
Here's the second part of the roundup of baseball's low achievers. Part 1 is here....
The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 1)
This is a celebration. I realize that sounds strange—compiling a list of the worst of something doesn't seem like a joyous occasion. But by worst 100 baseball players I don't just mean the objective worst, the statistical worst, the most physically discomforting to watch. I mean the players whose fa...